• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2017
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An Intricate Disguise

Selling out has never felt so dirty. (Patreon!)

More Blog Posts88

  • 9 weeks
    Nacht Der Greyson

    You're the Nazi. You want to control how others think. Even in their porn.

    You make me sick. God will punish you for this.

    Based and ponypilled.

    Who asked you to sugarcoat it, retard? Use your free speech. Say what you mean. Say what you feel. Don't spare my feelings.

    Read More

    47 comments · 1,701 views
  • 19 weeks
    I'm in a Difficult Spot Right Now and Need Your Help

    I’m back in a place I didn’t wanna find myself in, and I feel as if I’m running out of options. It’s been a pretty difficult year, sadly, and while I absolutely hate having to write a blog like this in the first place, I feel like at this point it’s only realistic that I have to. As much as I feel terrible for doing so, I’m putting my hand out one more time, in the hopes that I can get some help.

    Read More

    25 comments · 1,071 views
  • 64 weeks
    Prisoner in Paradise

    I just had a fucked up dream, boys
    Like, fuck
    It's complex and ridiculous but I'm gonna document it while I still remember
    Heart's pumping hahah

    Read More

    20 comments · 1,617 views
  • 65 weeks
    Fuckin' League

    Gonna keep this one short and sweet: recently, I began to find my mojo again. Not entirely sure how I managed, as I don't exactly feel in a wonderful place right now, but hey, sometimes small miracles appear from seemingly nowhere.

    In other words, I'm writing again. What's that got to do with the godawful cancer that is League of Legends? I'll tell you.

    Read More

    19 comments · 912 views

Prisoner in Paradise · 3:29am Jun 24th, 2019

I just had a fucked up dream, boys
Like, fuck
It's complex and ridiculous but I'm gonna document it while I still remember
Heart's pumping hahah
So like
I'm part of an operation originally
I can't remember how this happens but
I'm working together with a crew of other people to break into a government official's house and expose secrets
I manage this, though it involves sneaking past a lot of cameras and a couple of guards/staff
I get to the room and
I break into the computer
I read files
I find some pretty damning shit. I can't remember the specifics but I know it's really bad
And then I get caught
I start to realise I can't undo every alteration I've made to the computer in time and
Under scrutiny they realise that
I'm brought home and with my family
We're all tied to beds
Guns held over us
From the looks of things, they're gonna execute all of us
And then things go to black and
Time skip
I wake up in what looks like a penthouse suite
It's really, really nice
Like, I even have a handler who's there to make sure that I have all the amenities I possibly need
Only, I can't contact anyone, and of course, can't leave
and I'm on the third floor of the building and too pussy to risk jumping, if the windows would even open
Also, my family is gone
I'm told (or conditioned to believe) that one of my brothers was the one that did the hacking, that I was innocent
But that makes no sense to me—my little brothers are nine years old
I'm held there, I'm forced to learn, I'm tested
And eventually I get out of the room
I see what looks like a student village, or an airport once you go past security
There are tons of shops, all sorts of things, all sorts of people
And they all look happy
Of course, none of us can leave this place. Besides the illusion of satisfaction, the forced laughter and camaraderie, there's still the knowledge that every exit is locked, that there's security everywhere
And while I try to deal with it, I'm desperate to work out what really happened
I can eat what I like. Spend what I like on material things. I can smoke and talk to people and maybe even bring a girl back to my room
for all intents and purposes this should be paradise. I have the best looking penthouse and unlimited money
I just want to know where my family are and get the fuck out
I begin to realise that of all the people I talk to, they're all really smart. None of them will discuss how they got there but
They all wanna talk about science or philosophy or whatever the fuck
There's a bar
you can buy one type of beer there, but only if you have the right papers
but you're limited to three beers a day
It took me a while to realise that this is because they're alcohol free beers; drink any more than that, people will realise that it's a placebo
Just another illusion of freedom, controlling all of us
They bring people into my room, they have conversations with me. They have different versions of events to tell me about what happened, like they're trying to test my memory or work out if I'm still determined to escape and go public
They're trying to convert me, but they're also grooming me to work for them. They're grooming everyone here
And they fuck with my head. One time, they try to convince me that one of the people in the room with me is actually myself, from forty years in the future. That he lived through all of this and everything was fine because he cooperated. I nearly bought it, too. Cried from indecision and wanted to tear my hair out, but almost believed all of it until I asked him about one personal detail of my life—my anxiety and the feelings of difficulty I had believing anything—and he balked. Apparently, he didn't know me well enough, and the illusion was shattered
They did a lot of stuff like this. One time, I 'managed to download Discord'
I had tried texts and facebook a million times, as well as any other avenue I'd ever used and they hadn't worked
Eventually I figured even if nearly everyone I knew on Discord wasn't English
and I wouldn't get long
just communicating with SOMEONE outside would work well enough
So I tried and
I explained my situation as best I could
was given advice on how to get out and
I went for it
I decided to take the plunge, figuring the worst they'd do is tighten security around me if I fucked up—everyone in this 'prison' was valuable to them—and I attempted an escape
Made them think I was still in my room, snuck through the place, left through a balcony, jumped over into an open large bin full of binbags, escaped on foot
And fuck was I paranoid
I'm watching over my shoulder every five or ten seconds, running, walking whenever people might see to look inconspicuous as possible
Hood up, head down
I'm not even sure how long I've been in there but
I know what they've done is completely illegal
Can I go to the police? No, government control them
Can I go public? It'll just get covered up
Only solution is to find my family and leave the country
Here's where it gets ridiculous
I find my mother, and my brothers
in a gas station of all places
She's working there, but has to look after the boys at the same time
I guess they weren't as worthy of special treatment as I am
I want to get them out, of course, but she's compelling me to act natural
I try and act like I'm looking for something, follow her down an aisle, and we whisper about how to get away with this
We're trying to figure out how to get the money to leave
we both know if we use our cards they'll pick us up, those will be tapped
Even though it's risky, I call my dad, now that I finally have signal
he can help us. He doesn't know the whole situation, but I explain that I NEED help, and he says he can do it. Says he's going to drive down and come and get us, that we'll be okay
As soon as we know where we're meeting him, we go to step outside
They're all waiting
It was all a test. A test to see how I'd respond to certain stimuli, how I'd problem solve and figure my way out of the place, what I'd tell people, how I'd use the information granted to me
apparently, I failed there, the moment I called someone
there never was a 'Discord app'. They fed me that information
They try to capture me again. I try to kill myself
Anything but going back there again
being fucked with again
questioning my sanity again
I'm not sure if I managed to though, as I woke up straight after

Buy me coffee so I stay somewhat sane or join my Discord where you can see me drop rants like this in real time.

Comments ( 20 )

This would make a good metal song

Are you sure you've woken up?

I'm not and that worries me.

wow thats crazy. it remind me of that one dream i had where i fell asleep


Well here you go, random music you've never heard before.

I doubt a dream could whiplash topics like this.

Holy buck. One hell of a dream.

It's either future vision or you're seeing an alternate life another version of you is experiencing.

Sounds like a heavy metal concept album, obviously this means you have to form a band and write the next Operation Mindcrime.

I had I would say a similar dream like this except it was your typical hie setting with a dark turn let me summarize what i can still remember.

I fell asleep found myself in the company of the mane six they gave me the typical cover story of you fell from the sky and landed in the lake where rainbow saved me. Later on what I could guess had been a few months the town ponies begin acting strange, including the mane six. so I leave outside of town to clear my head think its discord or something like that. Then I knock over a metallic panel to which the whole illusion is revealed all the ponies where metallic skeletons and I could help but feel like i was in portal 2 with all the wear and tear visible the metal ponies cant follow me into the false wall so I book it with the intent of "getting the hell out of there!"

I run for what seems like forever and then I pass a room with a light on there in said room is the actual twilight sparkle who is a few shades darker as I enter the room a quick gander has me believe shes been like this for a while and I couldn't let myself leave her like that she was very exhausted so I try to dismantle whatever she is hooked up to at some point finding the locking mechanism and pulling it the opposite direction and unhook each part of the machine that she is hooked up to she collapses and after what i guess like 5 or so minutes pass she regains conscience and of course tries to run but cant so I'm like " hey hey hey easy, your ok alright, i wont let anything happen to you! but i need to know how did this happen."

she explains about some being from across the stars took over and imprisoned them all and hooked them up to these machines for x reason my guess maybe for a power source but eh... she tells me we have to free her friends then the dream ends there. my guess to why I was brought there in the first place I can only assume the "supreme being got bored and warped the first sorry soul he could find and that's about it...

I had a dream where Terrence Howard made fun of me in church. I then went to talk to him and find out why he has a problem with me. I then had the police come after me for some reason. I was running away from them when I woke up. I woke up probably twenty-five minutes ago.

I once had a dream that I later learned was of a past life. Turns out I'm a dragon from a parallel universe.

3 years ago, I had a weird ass dream where I was in Equestria... and Rainbow Dash came up to me, I remember taking out a bag of dog food and feeding all the Ponies dog food. I couldn't find any real food. They took to it really well.

I woke up confused, and a little disorientated.

Sounds like something out of an action-thriller movie.

Holy jesus, that is a weird ass dream.

Honestly, I only remember bits and pieces of my dreams, but I can safely assume they're the best bits and pieces. Like the one with Tim Allen, or the one where I broke the fourth wall (I jumped off a building in an attempt to end the dream early. It didn't work and my thought was "(expletive), I'm invincible in my dreams"). Oh, also there's the time that made me realize that even my subconscious mind is extremely bad at subtlety and even worse at deciding what arguments have any chance of working.

sounds like a cool idea for a story. But, really fucked up dream, AIDs (can i call you that?).

So you still think you are still asleep? Wanna know how I know you are awake? Me. Me making this comment, of my own autonomy. Me, a random commenter and brony and follower. A random smut and futa lover commenting on this blog.


Considering how long you’ve been away, this may possibly be a real event that already happened. That or you were never dreaming.

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