Laid off · 5:29pm Apr 18th, 2019
So yesterday was my last day on the job I've had for the past decade and I took it pretty hard. I apparently had a lot of my self worth invested into the fact that I'd had this steady work for so long, and the very moment that I didn't have it anymore I had those familiar thoughts of worthlessness and suicide bubbling back up. They were easier to control this time thanks to the medication but it still continues to be fairly psychologically taxing to me, though it's getting better. The next obstacle will convincing myself to make a Patreon past thoughts of being a leech that would potentially taking money from better, more deserving artists, or the likely prospect that I'll just check a Patreon day after day with zero income and a bunch of wasted time. What won't be an obstacle any longer is not having time enough to write anything between work, streaming, and all the responsibilities I now have at home after my father's death. For today I'm just going to let things mellow and do some paperwork to get my severance pay, but tomorrow I'm going to set aside a dedicated block of time for writing and nothing else, and I won't even touch the thought of making a Patreon until I have that side project to begin posting while resuming work on Reunion.
I notice I've lost a good handful of followers and I understand completely what with my year+ of inactivity, and I won't make some excuse for it because far better people than I have maintained their output through worse times. But to those that are still here thank you for sticking with me. It won't be much longer before I'll start posting things again at last.
Sorry to hear that happened to you man. Mental exhaustion creeps up when least expected at times so never try to hardcore push. But if the writing helps focus by all means. You've still got peeps sticking around whenever things surface once more.
Take your time, you still have fans here and some of us can be very patient bunch. Don't think about the output of 'other people through worse times', every person is different and copes with things in different ways. You focus on what you need, that's what matters more than anything
Chapter's need to stick together. You need something, let me know.
We’re gonna still be around when you’re ready. No rush.