Fic recs, April 5th! · 10:48pm Apr 5th, 2019
According to Twitter, Illya Leonov has raised enough money to get his emergency surgery! Hooray! But now, Novel Idea's family is in need of help!
TheLostNarrator's newest reading is Slavoj Zizek's Let Me Tell You About the Hole in My Face, featuring Magpiepony!
Got some more new authors today. :) Just one more blog's worth of them to go!
H: 0 R: 2 C: 1 V: 1 N: 1
Dashing to Dirty Conclusions by Huk
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: HiE/Not What It Seems
Rainbow Dash overhears a 'conversation' between Rarity and the local human. Who knew they were friends like that?
I was amazed at how long this story could keep going. Usually, these sorts of innuendo-laden random comedies follow a pattern: pony overhears what sounds like but definitely isn't sexual talk, freaks out, scene cut to what was actually going on, the end. But this one definitely overstays its welcome, devolving first into idiocy as the concussed human slowly digs his own grave, then pedantry as the 'what was going on' scene drags on and on. I mean, from the moment you hear the word 'pussy', you know they're talking about Opalescence. There's a reason we don't use the word 'pussycat' much anymore! A lot of this was just overreaching, trying to explain what was obvious, and simultaneously forgetting the story was a comedy while also trying too hard to be funny. The writing also had some problems, from POV shifts after Celestia shows up to word usage issues, i.e. "like if". (Also, the author really likes the phrase "X struck a thinking pose".) I was amused at first, but quickly grew weary; if you really like innuendo-based comedies, the first half of this might be fun, but I've just seen it all before.
Not Recommended
The Great Donation War by Skijarama
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: Ponies Discover X
Twilight Sparkle brings the internet home from the human world. There is no way this can go horribly wrong.
Hey, it's the fic reader. :) The problem with this story is that what the title suggests is the plot is maybe only half the wordcount here. First, we have to see each of the other mane six encounter the internet, and aside from Fluttershy searching for the wrong combination of words, most of what comes of it is pointless. I mean, both Dash and AJ find their human selves and basically go, oh, that's what I look like over there? And Pinkie video chats with herself, with absolutely no punchline. I will say I was amused that the real joke is "Where is pony Rarity getting the money for all these donations?" and how it creeps up on you real slowly as you read. But otherwise, I'd not recommend this unless the idea of ponies doing literally anything on the internet strikes you as really funny. It's one of those stories where you get the idea from the description, and the story delivers basically nothing more than that.
Vaguely Recommended
Growing Pain by Sarcastic Brony
Read by Fimfiction
Genre: HiE Romance/Alicorn Angst
Twilight's just gone through the biggest change in her life. Good thing she has her oldest friend to help her through it.
How did this end up on my RIL? Why does this keep happening? Okay, well, what we have here is actually a pretty decent story. The flashbacks are a good narrative device, used well. I did have to wonder about the main plot, though. I mean, this is really angsty, and if I questioned the intensity, all I can think is it's a matter of distance. I've been over Twilicorn for a long time now, but if the author, say, had joined the fandom recently and only just seen Magical Mystery Cure, that would be one explanation for deciding to write through feelings concerning it in this day and age. Also, one has to question the decision to make a whole new character to run through it… Well, up until you hit the romance part, in which case it becomes obvious. Look, I can't say this was appealing to me in the least, but I also can't say it's objectively bad. It's just for a certain subset of the fandom, is all.
Recommended Only If You Like Human/Pony Stuff
Exile by Blade Star
Genre: AU
After his defeat, King Sombra is exiled to a remote island off the coast of Equestria to live out the rest of his days.
I wish the description didn't explain it, because I felt clever for making the Napoleon connection myself. :') Ah well. All I can say against this is that the writing is unadorned and it rides that Napoleon connection hard with a character named Josephine. Like, I'm sure there's a way to ponify her name. But otherwise? This was good. It's a snapshot of a sad life lived as penance for a great crime. There's a lot of focus on Sombra as a sad-sack, possibly even going mad (he really gets into his own metaphor comparing gardening to ruling an empire, for instance). And that's really all you need to give an impression or get a message across.
Recommended
Loyalty by Knight of the Raven
Genre: Episode Followup
Discord is defeated, but one pony still has some pain to work through.
So this is different: one scene, two points of view. I feel like Rainbow's is maybe stronger, but it could just be the effect of seeing the same dialogue over again in Celestia's. Her inner monologue is good regardless. They're characters you don't see interacting one-on-one very often, and I like what the author did with them.
Recommended
Thanks for the review, but.. ouch! That was harsh
but… not really that surprising 
I would like to ask you about a few points, though if that's OK…
You mean, this part:
Or something else?
Um… Is there something wrong with that phrase, or did you just mention it because I used it a few times? I'm not a native English speaker, so if that sounds odd, please let me know.
5040212
Yeah, that's the first POV shift, as I recall, and there was at least one more.
The thinking pose thing is honestly okay, I just pointed it out because it's an oddly specific narrative tic. :B It's not a problem, in other words. Aside from "like if", you did pretty good with the language. :)
5040268
I don't recall any other than that, but I'll look it up... Do I understand correctly that simply splitting it like that:
Should suffice? Honestly, I knew this is technically wrong, but, at the time I didn't split it because the one line version seemed 'smoother' for me
.
Ah, OK. I realize that I tend to overuse 'struck a thinking pose' quite a bit, and I'm trying to expand my vocabulary, but it's a slow process...
Oh, and 'like if' should be 'as if,' correct
?
5041046
I think in almost every case, it should have been "like". <.< "Like if" is not a phrasing you can use; 'as if' basically means the same thing as 'like', but I think there are some usage quirks that I can't quite bring to mind at the moment. "As though" is much better, in general, if only because "as if" has been co-opted as a slang interjection. :B
As for changing POV, you should really only have one character's POV per scene, which is to say, there needs to be a scene break whenever you change it.
5041051
OK, thank you for all tips
Yo, that was dope