I can't let the disease win another day. · 6:09pm Mar 8th, 2019
My health is pretty poorly rn. I've got a head/chest cold on top of everything else that just won't go away. It's brought my ability to create anything to a full stop these past few weeks now. I feel like death, and not even the warmed over variety. But I'm getting some words out today if it kills me.
I'm sorry I haven't been able to get anything out, or just crack a joke here or there. In all honesty, my mental and emotional states have been a complete wreck just trying to survive this shit. I DID see my rheumatologist the other day, so now we'll be starting the battle with the insurance company over the $5K per dose medication she prescribed. She also dropped the bomb on me that I've got Axial Disease to go along with the Psoriatic Arthritis. Which is great.
I know I've said so before, but it bares repeating: don't catch an autoimmune disease if you can avoid it. It sucks.
I've been waking up each morning feeling like I've been punched in the face. Every joint screams at me with every tiny movement, and my balance is getting suspect again. I don't want to go back to needing a cane, but I might not have a choice in the matter for much longer. The pain and fatigue saps my energy, obviously, but it also affects me mentally. I have trouble controlling my anger. I'm mad at myself, at my weakness, at my inability to do simple things, etc., but it comes off as being mad at the people around me. Which is stressful. I also can't process complex things, like where to put a shoe in order to keep one of the dogs from nibbling on it. So then I get yelled at for putting it on a table that also has stuff on it. Admittedly, it was touching said stuff, but at the time I had no thought about it. In my mind the whole thing boiled down to: Can the dog get the shoe? No? Problem = Solved. That the shoe might be dirty and might be touching stuff never even factored into my mind. I also didn't remember I even put the shoe away until 10-ish hours later when the scolding happened.
I'm ranting.
Point is: I'm still not in a good way and in many ways, since last time I publicly complained, I am worse. The new insurance has kicked in so treatment can start, but that ball has more than a few revolutions to be pushed through before we see the results of it rolling. I don't want to let you folks twist in the wind while I wait on that, however. I want to get back to writing. So I'm going to try to do that today. Even if it's just a sentence or three, I need to get something done.
I'm sorry this isn't a happy blog post. I'll think of something uplifting for the next one.
Stay classy.
-Fuzz
Dude, i really don’t know what else to say other than offering my support and best wishes. You’re a good guy fuzzy
Here's to your speedy recovery, Fuzzy.
Hang in there, man. Autoimmune disorders really are the worst. Mine has me waiting on a kidney transplant now. Stay strong.
I don't know much about those particular disorders, but I do know some people with other types of autoimmune disorders that have improved their conditions (though not cured) through restrictive diets. Eliminating things like sugar, soy, or dairy can help in some cases. May be worth a shot?
Take care of yourself, fellow human. Your health is more important than a few words.
Take care and hang in there!
*Waves flag labeled GO FUZZY RAH RAH RAH*
Good thoughts. I don't know what else I can say. I've had friends, family, and friends' families all go through various health problems, and it's always the worst. :(