Headcanon: Random Ponies (and Creatures) · 8:16am Feb 6th, 2019
Since the last one went reasonable well, It thought I would write up more of my headcanons, this time focusing on some of the other ponies. Not much of a theme past that.
Gallus’s father was a pony who was turned into a griffon for a one night stand. He has no idea he had a son from it. This is why his colors are more like a pony then a griffon, and also why his mother abandoned him. Yes, it sucks.
Cranky Doodle Donkey spent his youth traveling across Equstria, but not on his own dime. He worked for the same Monster Hunting Agency that Bon-Bon worked for. He was successful enough that he managed to recruited a few monsters into the agency, including his partner, Steven Magnet. He eventually settled into a desk job and spent ten years running the place before retiring and leaving Steven in charge. He moved to Ponyville because Bon-Bon recommended it.
This is why all the princesses would show up to his wedding, because he’s a BAMF who’s done as much for Equstria as Twilight has. It’s just that it’s all classified.
Speaking of Bon-Bon, Cranky decided to retire her after he saw the strain her work for the agency was putting on her relationship with Lyra (Bon-Bon was his best agent, so he make sure to background check anyone she was with). After spending his whole life pining for one lady, he wasn’t going to let that sort of thing happen to her so he basically made her settle down. He’s very happy to see that it has worked out for the best.
A dragon’s size is determined by two things, how old they are and the size of their hoard. Not every dragon hoards the same things, but every dragon has a hoard. With the exception of Smolder, it’s why she’s small for her age (she’s only a couple years younger than Garble, Fizzle and Prominence). It’s also part of the reason why Ember chose her to go to the friendship school, because there is little to no risk of her hording growing out of control and spiraling into greed growth.
After years of trying, the Cake’s had accepted that they would never be able to have kids. It’s part of why they were so willing to take Pinkie on as an apprentice when she was so young. I was a huge surprise and blessing when she was finally pregnant, even if she was in her 40s. Doubly so when they discovered it was going to be twins.
While Blueblood is a prince, not because he’s related to Celestia, but because he’s a direct blood decedent of Princess Platinum (and yes, he has the papers to prove it). While he’s stuck up, he’s not completely horrible, but hates ponies who he sees as fakes. He pegged Rarity as a gold digger the moment he meet her (and to be honest, he was kind of right) and treated her like he did any mare who tried that, though even he would admit using her as a cake shield was a step to far. While he and Rarity have made up, they also don’t socialize with each other.
Headcanon: Celestia actually sired the Cake twins offscreen during A Bird In The Hoof.
These are all really good headcannons! While I can't say I'm on the same page in regards to Gallus, I can totally understand how that could be a theory for him. The others all seem vert feasible, and I kinda feel like adding a few of my own:
-Night Light and Twilight Velvet (Twilight and Shining's parents) are both gay. The two were life-long friends, and had an agreement to marry at the age of 35 if neither of them could find a suitable partner to start families with. After they married, the couple had an understanding that they could pursue other partners for sexual fulfillment while remaining married to each other. Also, the two have had sex for the sole purpose of recreation (with lots of alcohol involved), which resulted in their two kids.
-Hoity Toity is actually straight as a rail, and only dresses so extravagently to fool ponies in the fashion world to assume he was homosexual. Due to being a male in such a female-oriented career field, Hoity saw it as best to pretend to be gay so he wouldn't be shunned for his design works. He also uses the facade as a means to get easy one-night stands with attractive mares, usually by pretending to be Bi-Curious. And since he had a vasectomy early in his career, the pony went to great lengths to ensure no mares tried to lure him in after their one-time romps.
-Despite her limited vocabulary, Yona is actually the smartest of the Student Six. She was ranked the top of her classes in Yakyakistan, and is well-versed in multiple languages. However, no ponies at the School of Friendship seem to notice her high scores due to her clumsy behavior, and her difficulties mastering Ponish dialect.
-Smolder is actually Garble's younger sister, but the two don't really talk to each other after he was forced to leave home from his Molt-stage.
-After Chrysalis was overthrown and the Changeling Kingdom was revived, Changelings became a highly saught-after source for Equestria's porn industry.
-Princess Cadance regularly collects pornography and body pillows of her and Shining's likeness, mostly due to the entertainment value of seeing how ponies interpret her. However, she also carries a vehement distaste for any porn that involves Chrysalis as well, and hates how so many ponies are aroused by someone who was her husband's rapist.
-Shining Armor regularly cross-dresses, mostly for fun and private enjoyment. Cadance knows about this, and has a section of her dress closet specifically for his garments.
and finally...
-Cozy Glow used to be a gifted filly with a near genius-level IQ, and was formerly a student at her local High School despite her age; however, she was also relentlessly bullied due to being raised in a poverty-stricken household, and found no solace from teachers or her own parents. When Lord Tirek first tried to conquer Equestria in the Season 4 finale, Cozy came up to him by herself and begged him to end her life; instead, the being paused his reign long enough to comfort her, and give her the means to become his pen-pal. After he was recaptured, he and Cozy conversed long enough to give her advice on bettering her life. This included acquiring surveillance and blackmail, which she used alongside lying and manipulation techniques to get multiple bullies expelled from her school. She also lured her Principal into a trap when she framed him for assault on a minor, and won a massive lawsuit when he tried to choke her to death. She used the money from that lawsuit to get some cosmetic surgery and make herself "cuter," and moved to Ponyville so she could pay back the favor she promised Tirek.
Also, shortly after being inducted into Twilight's Friendship School, Cozy Glow murdered her parents and locked them in a deep-freezer. Their bodies weren't discovered until after her capture, and was the biggest reason Celestia placed her in Tartarus.
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Celestia was the mother, Mr. Cake was the father (they clearly take after him), and then they were magically transferred to Mrs. Cake's womb.
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I like it
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I never thought of him as gay (even if I do have a body pillow of him), just being very fashionable with a posh accent. If anything I though he was more like Rarity, a small town pony putting on airs to fit in.
This is also my headcanon, but it came from someone else's story so I didn't list it here.
I'm not a huge fan of Garble being Smolder's older brother as it falls into the 'every character has to be connected to every other in some way' trope. It's the same reason I don't go for Sunset being Sunburst's older sister. On the other hand I don't object to that idea, and I've read a number of good stories built around those very ideas. If it was ever made official I would be happy to roll with it.
One thing I debated put in this list and finally cut out was the idea that Celestia has been married a few times in the past 1000 years, though the last one was two centuries ago. It was cut short as the mare she married was also the head of her guard, and ended up being killed on a mission that Celestia sent her on. While she has dated since then, she's only recently starting to feel open to a serious relationship again after seeing Cadence and Shining Armor together.
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One of those is not like the others...
The Gallus headcanon for why he's so colorful is kinda hilarious despite being depressing. And I am pretty sure Prince Blueblood being a prince because he's descended from Princess Platinum is the only possible thing that makes sense, since he's obviously not related to Celestia in any tangible way.