COPS Equestria 6 · 5:51pm Jan 24th, 2019
"We've had reports of a cloud of black smoke coming from the mountain since late last night. The cloud has grown to encompass Ponyville, definite public health concern, so we're gonna find the cause and get it stopped."
"Excuse me, sir!"
"What?"
"Are you aware that you produce large black clouds of smoke when you sleep?"
"Yes. I have a medical condition."
"Do you have a physician's contact we can call to verify that?"
"Do you have a warrant to harass me like this?"
"We're not harassing you sir, we just want to stop the clouds."
"So do I, but unless you feel like forking over five thousand bits for a throat operation, that ain't happening."
"Okay, but we do need to put a stop to this, because the clouds of smoke are covering Ponyville and that's a public health violation."
"I bought this cave, I have a right to live here."
"Yes, and the ponies have a right to go about their lives without breathing sulfur and carbon dioxide."
"I told you I can't help it, it's a medical condition. Here, have a look at the pill bottle."
"I see the bottle is empty?"
"I don't take them anymore. They were horse pills. Couldn't swallow them. Doctor is looking into other medications."
"Do you have his number?"
"Fine, here."
"So it turns out the suspect has a medical condition causing that smoke. We could still try to charge him for not taking his medication, as it is still a health hazard and he would be negligent in not taking his pills. But given that he's a dragon, we decided the better option for everyone is to distribute face masks and come back in a few days to see how the situation has developed."
My first thought was Spike and his reaction to the yearly Ponyville Fiesta Mexicolt food.
Yikes.
"Turns out Princess Celestia sent in a S.W.A.T. team to deal with the dragon. One consisting of several violators we've dealt with before. Still, not my place to question Her Highness."
Gonna Civil Asset Forfeiture that horde?