Y'know how some character interpretations can stick with you forever...? · 1:31pm Mar 28th, 2018
Every so often, the Marvel Puzzle Quest app needs to be updated: bugs fixed, powers being balanced, and the coding for upcoming events being installed. When this happens, the screen icon often changes -- and typically, the new version will be promoting something on the horizon. The next movie. The next big crossover event. The next new character.
Here's the post-update icon.
I'll give you a hint: we've already got Rogue and Kurt.
That's right. The next character to find her way into the game will be Jubilation "Jubilee' Lee. And if you look closely at that little strip of preview image, you can pin down which one. That's the 90s Jubilee. In fact, that looks very much like the 90s Jubilee from the X-Men animated series, and those of you of the proper generation are currently remembering everything about her characterization there, probably whether you wanted to or not. We can distinguish those who met her through cable reruns, streaming, or box sets by the loss of two degrees in their doubled-over arch.
Now, MPQ has Required Character Nodes. This means that for a given fight, you must have that character on your roster in order to participate: the game only offers loaners for player vs. player events built around that character and the very first node of a player vs. event. It's essential to add a new character to your own roster as soon as possible after release, because you will reach that stage where not having them is costing you points, placement status, and rewards. It's why I did whatever I could to secure Valkyrie at release, and am waiting for the lack of Jessica Jones to kick me out a window.
But Jessica was released as a five-star character: decidedly hard to draw. Jubilation, at a guess, will be a three-star, and that means covers will be much easier to come by.
So on the one hand, Required Character Nodes. Points, rewards, and placement status.
On the other: Jubilation 'Girl Hostage' Lee.
...I'm thinking it over.
For everyone else: use the Comments to name a character whose one horrible interpretation you just can't get rid of. No matter how hard you, and every writer that followed, might have tried.
We all have at least one. Or at least one hundred.
I'm finally starting to understand why the MPQ community keeps calling for the inclusion of Alison Blaire. It beats this.
Probably doesn't count, but it will be long before I forgive Disney for what they did with Hook in "Jake and the neverland pirates". Sure, the dude is a poser, but he's definitely not incompetent!
On the plus side, at least it's not vampire Jubilee.
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That's the five-star variant.
No, nobody knows that for sure, but a lot of people on the MPQ forums are making that joke.
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oh lord!
Speedball/Penance gets first billing for terrible.
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I thought about what her show-based powerset might look like on a three-star character. Here's what I came up with.
Red: Go Look At The Distraction Jubilation ignores all strategy, common sense, and instinct for self-preservation by rushing headlong into the fight, where she promptly does something so stupid that it makes most of the combatants stop and stare at the sheer display of idiocy. Stuns either one random enemy opponent for two turns or a pair of enemies for one turn: this result cannot be controlled. However, it also stuns one of Jubilation's own allies for two turns, because it's just that stupid. (If Jubilation is the last person standing on her team, she will not stun herself.)
Green: Every Day Like The Fourth Of July (Conditional) Jubilation sends a spray of lights, sparkles, and stock sound effects at the enemy team. Technically, this does no damage whatsoever. (It never has. It never will.) However, in those moments when the enemy is just standing there saying "...why?", everyone else can act. Does X damage for each of Jubilation's remaining allies. (Should Jubilation be the final team member conscious, this power does nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because this is an accurate translation of the show and so her powers do absolutely nothing. It's twenty years too late to complain, Sparky.)
Yellow: The Girl Hostage (Passive) Jubilation has something of a talent for being captured by the enemy. Actually, we're just gonna call it a power. Every four turns, Jubilation is captured by the opposition, whether you want her to be or not. (Look, at least it isn't every other episode.) While being held hostage, she cannot be directly attacked, damaged by area powers, and is immune to status effects. Two turns later, she returns to the battlefield -- bringing three random color points from the enemy pool. And four turns after that, she's captured again... (If Jubilation is sent airborne or stunned, this power still works. What's easier than carting off a stunned hostage?)
Jubilee was the best thing about the 1990s X-Men series; she was awesome then and she's even MORE awesome now and there is literally nothing that is not improved by the presence of Jubilee.
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Oh YE GODS, I cannot tell you how glad I am to FINALLY see the back of THAT bullcrap.
How many fracking years has it taken?
Way, WAAAAY too many.
I should probably state that Jubilee is my favourite character in anything ever and is largely singularly responsible for getting me into superheroes, like period. She shoots fireworks from her fingers. Fireworks.
Y'know, EXPLOSIVES. The thing that kill a few more people every year when people forget that they ARE explosives...
(Assuming we want to be understate a bit, and compare her powers to merely gunpowder and not, y'know, PLASMA.)
There is a REASON we don't see Evil Mirror Jubilee very often, because Evil Jubilee would be absolutely fracking terrifying.
(Marvel, by-the-by. also damn well knows how much draw she's got, since they've been using her as a marketing tool for the last couple of decades. Heck, even the movies knew that annoucning her inclusion (and that was a massive fracking middle finger again)) in X-apocalyse was big.)
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Look, we already knew you were evil. You don't have to convince us any more.
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...Wouldn't evil Jubilee just be a less competent Tempest Shadow?
I admit, I focused more on the WB than Fox at the time, so my acquaintance with this incarnation of Jubilee is highly limited.
As for interpretations that stick in my craw, no terrible ones come to mind, but I do find myself latching onto some of your more positively spun characters (e.g. Fancy Pants, Filthy Rich, etc.), making me all the more hostile towards less sympathetic takes on them.
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I may not know this version well, but I do love the idea of her getting captured in midair. Less Fastball Special, more Pick Six.
Also, Estee, take the converse: A single portrayal of a character that has forever made you love them, no matter what the writers do later.
Nextwave.
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Remember when I did MPQ translations for some of the Mane Cast and sundry? Well...
Her ***** (Triptych Continuum)
Blue: Power And Pain (Passive) There is strength, and there is a price to pay for it. Every turn, she randomly generates two color points. These are not added to the pool: if the team has collected ten green and she generated four of it, the number would appear as 6(4) -- and only she can tap those four points. She also loses 2% of her original Health total on every turn from the second on. This damage can be temp-healed or truehealed by her allies, but nothing will stop the decline: even if stunned or airborne, she continues to take this damage. (The color point generation doesn't work while she's stunned: it does function when airborne.)
Green: It Never Stops (Passive & Active) Nothing halts the transformation -- but the pace can be changed. At the start of the match, she will initially appear in a randomly-chosen aspect. Every six turns, she moves into the next part of her cycle, transforming from pegasus to unicorn to earth pony to pegasus again, and so on down the line: this occurs regardless of what status effects may be on her at the time. Whenever the actual transition occurs, any status effects on her automatically dissipate. She may also deliberately switch aspects by spending eight green points from the color pool -- but this costs her 10% of her original Health.
Purple: No Control (Conditional) Bad things happen when she gets scared... If an enemy attack wounds her for 5% or more of her original Health, something will happen. The game chooses a power which would work in her current aspect and which the team has the color points to pay for, starting by looking at the most expensive five-star abilities which could be energized, then working down. So if she's in her unicorn aspect and the team has fifteen red points (including those created by her blue power), the game starts by examining five-star unicorn red powers: if nothing suitable is found and there are twelve green points, it'll move to that category. The random power then goes off and whatever happens... happens. (This power does not work when stunned: it will function while airborne.)
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Tempest can't detonate matter on a molecular level (in effect, set off a fracking FUSION bomb).
Jubilee actually CAN - yes, really - and her biggest hold-up with her powers is that she's a decent lass who doesn't, y'know, WANT to.
Evil Jubilee?
Would make Nitro (y'know, the guy behind the Stamford massecre) look like TRIXIE.
Interpretations that leave a sour taste in your mouth? Deadpool.
Not the solo movie Deadpool we deserved, no. I'm talking the wolverine origins movie monstrosity they tried passing off as Deadpool. You know, the one that had his mouth fused shut?
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Yeah, but turning evil doesn't make you more competent...
I wonder if this game does promotions to coincide with the releases of the films
I seem to be in the conversion mood today. (This may have to be a blog post next month.)
Ratchette **** (Triptych Continuum)
Yellow: You Forgot She Could Fly (Passive & Conditional) But to be fair, there are days when she almost forgets that herself. If a direct or team attack would do damage of 20% or more of her original Health -- or knock Ratchette out, regardless of amount done -- and there are eight or more yellow points in the color pool, use eight yellow to go airborne for one turn, effectively dodging anything that would only hit a groundbound target. However, she'll still be hit by attacks and powers which can affect anypony who's airborne. (Activation cost drops at higher levels, to a minimum of five.)
Black: A Feel For It... (Passive) Ratchette takes 20% less damage from unicorn abilities (matches and powers), but also takes 15% more damage from pegasus ones. (Increased resistance to unicorn damage at higher levels, topping out at 50%: pegasus boost to incoming damage remains constant.)
Purple: In The Blood (Active) Choose one unicorn ally, then spend fourteen purple from the color pool: this creates a one-turn purple countdown tile in a random location. While this tile is active, that unicorn may now use any active power they have at no cost -- and each time they do so, Ratchette loses 10% of her original Health. (Extended tile duration at higher levels (maximum of three turns), Health loss may drop to 8%.)
Dark Knight Batman caused me to never take him seriously again.
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Fairly often, but just for the Marvel Studios ones: this reflects the rather poor relationship which can come up with Fox. For Thor: Ragnarok, we got the character releases of a gladiator Thor variant, Valkyrie, and Main Event Hulk -- who very quickly earned the perma-nickname of 'Meh...' (There was also a very extended series of battle rounds focusing on Thor and Bruce, with prizes at the end of the month.) Spider-Man: Homecoming saw the introduction of multiple classic villains: Adrian, William, and Sergei all showed up. I don't doubt something will be rolled out for Infinity War.
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While turning good does the opposite.
Okay: one more.
Snowflake *** (Triptych Continuum)
Green: Strength Of Stone (Active) Congratulations: we didn't even know he could get mad. (You must have done something to somepony else.) Spend ten green points, then do X damage to the front-rank opponent. This power can affect airborne opponents. (Increased damage at higher levels.)
Black: WHUMPH! (Active) Snowflake's always had a little trouble with his landings, and having the largest pegasus stallion known hit the ground with just enough force -- added to a touch of magic -- can get attention. Snowflake spends twelve black points, then goes airborne for one turn. At the start of the next turn, he lands, shaking the ground --and the game board. Two random columns switch places: if this leads to matches and cascades, collect the resulting color points normally. Additionally, everypony on the enemy team (unless airborne) takes X damage, and one enemy opponent will be stunned for one turn. (Increased damage at higher levels, three columns may switch position, stun goes to two turns.)
Yellow: To Do What Must Be Done: (Passive) When your talent is determination, you can be a little hard to stop -- and the worse it gets, the harder Snowflake pushes on. When Snowflake reaches 50% of his original Health, his active powers will cost one color point less, and he'll take 20% less damage from all incoming attacks. At 30% Health, it's two color points less and 35% less damage. 10% is three color points saved and half-damage from all incoming attacks. This power does not work when stunned. (At higher levels, raise the thresholds: savings/protection kick in progressively earlier.)
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Yes it does. You have to know WHAT to nuke. Jubilee isn't immune to her own explosions.
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Here’s one I’ve been noodling around for a bit now:
Clear Coordinator *
Black: Protective Layers (Passive). A pony can never have too many living shields... er, I mean friends! As long as Coordinator has at least one ally active, he cannot be targeted, stunned, sent airborne, or dealt damage. At higher levels, this power reduces (slightly) all damage that would be dealt to Coordinator’s allies.
Blue: Exerting Control (Active). If there’s one thing Coordinator knows, it’s how to take control. Coordinator spends five blue to create a two-turn blue countdown tile. As long as one of these tiles is on the board, opponents cannot activate powers. At level 2, this becomes a 3-turn tile. At level 3, it makes two such tiles. At level 4, they become 4-turn tiles. At level 5, they are Fortified.
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*things said right before death.
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That's not a good thing.
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Still not effective.
Several decades back, the indie comic book Southern Knights used the Irish war goddess The Morrigan as a primary antagonist. One of the members of the superhero team was a dragon, and The Morrigan, for vaguely explained Villain Reasons™, decided she wanted all the dragons dead. There were a few scenes of on-screen dragon genocide that scarred teenaged dragon-obsessed me, which proved occasionally awkward over the next few decades during my occasional attendance at pagan events where I'd run across events honoring her, and/or people worshiping her and/or her pantheon.
Venom of the Toby Maguire Spiderman 3.
No. Just...no.
Nicolas Cage’s Ghost Rider.
Not nearly BAMF enough (and we do NOT talk about GR2).
Hanna-Barbara’s Godzilla.
Too...DINOSAUR-y.
Black Suit and Mullet Superman from after his post-Doomsday resurrection.
Proof that there is no Comics God, and the CCA should have been even stricter.
New 52 Starfire.
I mean...yeah, she was kind of...y’know...a cat, but you still could take her home to meet mom and pop. N52 just made her into a straight up HO.
I take it you’ve finally given in and got @#/% ? You know, that one guy that is both ** and *** and shows up very often in the Deadpool dailies?
Also, I remember Jubilee from the X-men cartoon. Isn’t she the new character that got tricked by Sabertooth to release him five episodes in?
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I'm looking forward to it.
(Despite still never having played MPQ and never intending to.)