Have I mentioned how much I hate Kink-Shaming? · 1:01am Nov 29th, 2017
If you guys remember a while back, I made a blog post talking about why judging people's kinks and fetishes isn't fucking cool. And I gotta say, I'm glad it got so much positive feedback and discussion in response to it. However, despite venting out my thoughts on the matter, it still pisses me off to no end when people keep doing it.
Take for example my two most recent stories, A Different Kind of Conquest, and Spike Gets Bucked. One of them is a F/F clop that carried a dark theme, had a rather... debatable level of consent involved, and has made a few people question the Romance tag (which I only put on there since it's porn). However, despite how morally questionable the fic was, it got a lot of positive feedback and was featured on the front page (which I'm very grateful for).
Meanwhile, the other story is a legit romance fic between two M/M couples, which involved lots of consent and love regarding unconventional themes, and actions that everyone clearly enjoyed. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I wrote that as a commission for someone (who absolutely loved it, BTW), and took a lot of time and effort to write out completely, it ended up getting a TON of downvotes in less than a day. And I'm willing to bet good money that most of the people who downvoted the story didn't even fucking read it.
Seriously, why does this happen?! I mean, yeah, I get it. One of the fetishes isn't very popular, and I can respect people's decisions to not want to read it. But not only was the story downvoted like crazy, but so were all the comments that gave positive feedback about it! I mean, really?! If you don't like something, you could at least leave a comment explaining why! How does downvoting anonymously and not stating your views change anything?! It doesn't!
Although... yeah, I'm aware that I have been writing more divisive stuff recently. Due to all of the alt. fetishes I've been writing through commissions, I wouldn't be surprised if some people were assuming that's my main niche nowadays. However, despite all the work I've made, I don't want to be given such a polarizing stigma because of one or two oneshots I agreed to make and publish.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not against doing stories like that (especially for profit), since I'm able to give people something they can't easily get elsewhere without ridicule or judgement. Plus, who knows? Maybe I can open up other people's opinions about various kinks, and make them a little more accepting on things they don't understand.
What it all comes down to, in my opinion, is for people to realize that we're all human, and we're not solely bound to what we make or read. Despite all the recent stories I've been making, I still love writing gushy romance and silly comedy fics; Shut Up And Dance is still being updated somewhat regularly, and I've been keeping that story fairly clean in comparison to my Mature-rated fics. And in that same light, the people who enjoy my weirder stuff are human as well. Even if they have unconventional interests, they're still people who live productive lives and have hobbies outside of their kinks. They're not a bunch of circus-freaks who lay in hay-stacks all day muttering about what turns them on.
And in that same point, I should point out that we ALL have weird interests and ideas. Nobody is completely normal, and most people aren't exactly vanilla when it comes to their interests. Hell, nobody who browses Mature stories on this site should be judging what others like. For every guy here who thinks a particular kink is weird or stupid, there are probably a LOT more outside this fandom who would look at that same guy and think, "Ewww, he looks at My Little Pony porn?!"
I'm just saying that at the end of the day, we shouldn't be passing judgement onto each other. We're all people, and we're all weirdos. So instead of passing judgement on one another, or instantly downvoting stories solely on the cover, we should learn to either understand one another, or just follow the mantra of The Beatles and Let It Be. If you don't like a story concept, don't read it. If you read it and don't like it, then you can downvote; although adding a comment might be helpful if you want the writer to get some feedback for future stories. But if you don't follow those rules, and just immediately dismiss something without giving it a chance, chances are good you're not going to grow much as a person. And when it all comes down to it, all of us consider ourselves a person; so give that same thought next time you see someone else.
Yeah, I admit I was somewhat divided on the F/F story you wrote, even if I didn't say it as I was being polite about things. It did come across as somewhat rapey, honestly.
But you bring up a good point, no matter how weird a kink is (I'm not a fan of dominatrixes, comes across a little too much like abuse if you ask me.) you still shouldn't shame a person for it. Free world and all that crap, after all.
bby, don't u no having 2 men in love is ghey? Das like, the gheyest thing 5ever.
Sarcasm aside, it's kind of sad. No theories on why people would downvote this, besides the small penis humiliation or watersports. Most likely the latter.
4737115
Just to play the devils advocate to this. Counterbalance as it were.
The world is free, and that means they are free to voice their view/opinion, including "shaming" others. So long as they are not acting in a PHYSICAL way to stop someone, it is just words. Just like you (someone) has the right to shame back, or walk away and ignore them.
People get too wrapped up in this idea they have a "right" not not be offended...and that just isn't true at all.
4737161
I'm not saying otherwise. If anything, I openly allow other opinions. But what bothers me is that people aren't saying ANYTHING. They're just down voting and not saying a Damn thing about it.
4737174
Yea, I have said before and will continue to push for it. The downvote needs to be removed, or at least revamped where it REQUIRES at least 100 words typed to explain the down vote.
4737190
Yeah, I'll go along with that bit. 100 words should be a requirement before you downvote a story.
*claps ecstatically* bravo for defending yourself and the stories you've written thus far!
my reasoning for not f/f story is because it's not the pairing or ship. not the kind of story i'm into or audience for it.
believe me i've witness stuff like on ff.net. so whenever I publish my stories on here i'm gonna tell them to back the fuck off i'll fight them on it! spend too much time on caring about what others will think of me.
4737190
>inb4 some douchebag types the word "penis" 100 times before submitting
GG
Seriously, kinkshaming isn't cool.
I did nothing wrong.
I experienced this with my last clop, however being FIMFiction, I say wait a couple of days before all those up votes fall into your favor.
Ah but it did change something, it annoyed and upset you. Best thing to do in my opinion is ignore this petty subset of people. After all they likely only read the story description, disliked and moved on without giving you another thought. They don't deserve your attention and aren't worth worrying over.
You're part of a fandom that promotes love and friendship, of course you're going to run into trouble when doing stories that have the opposite of that. Grimdark clopfic are a good example of this.
If you're that concern with the downvote you could always upload a more safe version of the story without the [insert fetish here].
4738253
I wouldn't exactly call it grimdark. The fetish involved may be unconventional, but it's not something I would consider dark. All of the parties involved were completely consentual, and it made everyone feel good. In the end, I think consent is the biggest factor to ensure most fetishes aren't grimdark (with obvious exceptions here and there).
-presents you with Troy and canvas but in diapers-
B)
4739123
4739128
This started three years ago, and I will never forget this inside joke between us fail
4740111
You're an insistent birdie when it comes to jokes, I'll give you that. :P
4740117
I’m the only other gaybirb on this website hon, your gonna live with it
4740557
Well, I suppose I can't argue with that logic. :P
4740567
Also how dare u kink shame me
4740573
I'm not kink shaming, dude. I'm just saying there are some things I'm not willing to write about. Especially involving my OCs.
yeah its all pretty ridiculous. Don't let it get to you man, just keep doing what you love and move on. Also, cudos to you for defending yourself against this kinda BS. some people tend to just assume things and blow it way out of proportion.