Random Reviews 14 · 7:40pm Nov 19th, 2017
It's random review time!
As before, I still have 3 slots open for Nonrandom Reviews, but since nobody's taking me up on them, I might pick some stuff to review myself for that batch.
In the meantime, here are some fics randomly plucked out of Fimfiction for your delectation.
Food Chain by The Frank
In Memory of a Great Rock by The Letter J
Mark of a Noblepony by BlndDog
Everypony Needs an Angel by Jingle
A Royal Favor by Dasher18
This fic turned out to be a sequel to a sequel to a fanfic based on a webcomic AU based on MLP... so I figured I'd do a little research so that I can at least give it a fair chance.
The webcomic, it turns out, is something I'm actually vaguely familiar with, because I've seen this art before. It's the Junior Gala comic by mustlovefrogs/Kaemantis, who has this distinctive, colorful line-art style and an apparently expansive anthro MLP AU. Her pictures occasionally come up in the various foal groups that I'm in.
Silly Sweetie Belle. You're not Apple Bloom.
So I read the comic, which is actually funny and cute and well-written. Kaemantis' characterization is really good, giving the foals of the show more depth and complexity and histories and interesting motivations. (The comic is still ongoing, too, since it seems to be one of those things that takes a long time to produce, so episodes come out slowly). Y'might like it.
Anyway, the fic itself opens with Sunset Shimmer being woken by a pet landshark, which is immediately confusing because (a) Sunset Shimmer wasn't in the Junior Gala comic, (b) Equestria Girls isn't mentioned in the comic either, and (c) I don't know what a landshark is. Good start! I'm guessing these things were all covered in the previous fics which I didn't read. ^^
A domestic landshark seems to be exactly what it sounds like, and it's apparently the pet of the Sunset/Dazzling residence.
The fic is basically a slice of life following the various trials and tribulations of Sunset, Aria, and Sonata, and Adagio over the course of a day. As such it's a bit hard to recap.
There are a bunch of elements in this that I find interesting, though. The sirens are actually hippocampi, albeit now in anthro pony guises. They seem to be in a reforming phase where they're still not all that fond of ponykind, but are adapting to it, and I always love that. There's a distinct feel of otherworldly-ness to the household; even in a world where magic does exist, hippocampus magic just doesn't quite fit.
There's also the slight fact that they are still, underneath, horrifying predators who really want to kill and eat other beings and don't particularly care if their prey is sentient or not, but, y'know, everyone has their rough edges.
Also Sunset and Adagio have a daughter who I assume is a pony/hippocampus hybrid, which makes me think of Dragon Ball Z.
This fic was quite an interesting read, although I suspect I'm missing a lot of the context here. It feels like a good slice of something larger and more ongoing (and it was published only this month, so it'll presumably continue). If you're looking for an anthro MLP AU, maybe check this universe out.
Notable lines
• "Aria sighed. It was probably Thursday." - welp, there goes the planet.
• "[Adagio] and her sisters had decided that tea was the only good food-related object that pony kind had created." - you'd better believe it!
VERDICT: Okay
According to the description of this fic, Twilight gives an obituary about Tom the Rock, who was her lover, apparently.
This fic is based on, of all things, a game of Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder, which really interests me because (a) I love card games, (b) I love fics based on card games, (c) I'm kind of intrigued by TSSSF. I've never actually played it. I watched a little of a game being played at UK Ponycon 2017, and I know that it has a collectible aspect to it and it looks really cool and silly.
And there's a (d): I've actually also written a sad ponyfic about a beloved rock passing away. (I never published it though).
So, uh, guess I should actually start reading this. Oh, and apparently Tom here is based on Tom from something called Car Talk, which I've never heard of.
The fic is narrated by Twilight and is a simple retelling of the history of Twilight's relationship with Tom; how they first met, how they got to know each other, how they fell in love... and although this is obviously absurd, it's played completely straight, with Twilight giving a factual account of their time together. It's a very mild comedy and a smooth read.
The only real issue I could see being that it's paced a little too fast; when you have a premise as stupid as this, I think it pays to stretch it a bit. :)
Notable moments
• Pinkie is the only one who understands Rarity's feelings for Tom, which is of course a nice nod to Pinkie's upbringing.
• The fic suggests that Maud helped Twilight to understand and control her earth pony magic after she became an alicorn, which I rather like.
Notable lines
• 'Their relationship was a happy one, but it was not to last. They broke up a few months later. I believe Rarity felt that Tom was "taking her for granite."' - ...no comment.
VERDICT: Okay
This one seems to be an OC story. About an OC named "Nick". But not a Human in Equestria story. Hmmmmmm.
The name, it turns out, is important, as Nick moves from Canterlot to study in Baltimare only to find that there's another, more famous Nick there, and he doesn't like it. But not because he's worried about being overshadowed... it's because the other Nick is a bat pony, like he is.
This really confused me on first read, because the story doesn't actually tell you that Nick is a bat pony to begin with. It's only when I went back to read again that I realized the start of the story had been hinting at it, but it's written so artsily and confusingly that I didn't get it at first. Which is a shame, because I think the start of the story would be a lot stronger had I understood that Nick was hiding this secret. Still, it's only the beginning, so no big deal.
Nick finds that in Baltimare, there isn't the same level of stigma against bat ponies as there is in Canterlot, as so Nick finds himself able to embrace the heritage he's suppressed for so long. He gets to know Nick better, finding that there's a whole community of bat ponies out there, apparently hiding in plain sight.
By the end of the fic, however, Nick seems to have come to the decision that he'd rather hide who he is than deal with the discrimination and alienation he'd otherwise face. Which is sad.
I have issues with this story being confusing at times; I seemed to get lost quite often about what was going on or why Nick is feeling the way he does. Frankly, the ending of this fic confuses me. Is Nick rejecting his bat pony heritage after all? I couldn't really tell, to be honest.
But when it's on point, this story is really good. The world description is excellent; I can picture Baltimare in my mind so easily, and the sensory detail comes across very well, which is really important for a character like Nick. The university setting is much appreciated too. And despite being completely an OC story (no canon character appears, and even Princess Luna is only mentioned by name), I never once felt like it was lacking for it.
Notable names
• Other Nick's brother, also a bat pony, is called Silverwing.
Notable lines
• "There was a reason bat ponies were not as fond of flying as pegasi. We flew when we needed to, and we were strong fliers when we had to be, but there was nothing for us in the sky. We had no power over winds or clouds, and when we weren’t active our uninsulated membranous wings cooled us too much." - This is a really great bit of description which speaks for itself. Bat ponies are not simply pegasi with different wings, and that physical difference is significant. Sadly, Nick doesn't feel the urge to buy socks at any point.
VERDICT: Good
Here's a description that's hilarious in hindsight:
Ever since she found him, Fluttershy has been taking care of Angel. Occasionally, the roles reverse and Angel Bunny needs to look after Fluttershy.
So, this story is told from Angel Bunny's perspective, which means I'm going to have to try very hard not to be biased here. :) The story opens with Angel waiting for Fluttershy to return from a funeral, which turns out to be that of Rainbow Dash. Well, damn.
Angel, it seems, is smarter than we give him credit for, able to understand Fluttershy's troubles and even somehow having the foresight to make tea for them both. Wait, wait wait. I'll buy that Angel is more intelligent than the average rabbit, and might understand the situational need for tea, and might even figure out how to work a stove and actually make it... but why would he drink it?
Anyway, Fluttershy's all upset and Angel comforts her and that's about it, really. There's not much meat to this story, and Angel Bunny's involvement doesn't really amount to a whole lot, since he's... well, he's a rabbit and he can't talk. Plus it's a bit melodramatic. A not bad sadfic, I guess.
VERDICT: Tolerable
[Adult story embed hidden]
Our final review is a clopfic, because this is the life I chose, apparently. A royal guard with the not-even-slightly-Equestrian name of "Wilson Mayers" has an encounter with Princess Celestia.
Wilson, on night duty, discovers that as per guard protocol, it's his job to wake Princess Celestia. Being a rookie, he's nervous about this, and it doesn't help when it turns out that Celestia is aroused and just wants to have sex with him. A couple of what I can only describe as "walls of porn" follow, in which line breaks are eschewed in favor of some guard-on-princess action.
Well, I'll be fair: Princess Celestia at least doesn't seem too out of character in this fic, retaining her playful, maternal side even while the naughty stuff is going on. Wilson, meanwhile, seems to be the most timid massively-endowed royal guard ever.
Mistakes
• "The words rang through his head like some kind of obnoxious coo-coo clock" - I don't usually fault fics for spelling mistakes, but come on.
Oddities
• "She gazed back into his own Lightning-green eyes" - uh, what?
Notable lines
• "They slept for the rest of the day, nobody questioning the lack of the daytime. This happened every once in a while. It was to be expected." - okay, I am at least amused by the idea that Celestia sometimes misses a day for dumb reasons like this. XD
VERDICT: Tolerable
Definitely look at the rest of Kaemantis's work. She has some fascinating ideas and great artwork.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if my fics are too long for your random reviews...
4730011
My current max word limit for Random Reviews is 5000 words, so many of yours would qualify. It's just a matter of luck :) I will get to your review request once I have enough for the next Nonrandom batch.
4730020
A good quarter of my stories exceed that limit.
Hmm.
This could become annoying.
She's not in the comic, but she's in Kae's universe. So is the kid, Snowshine.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/6/11/1176181/large.jpeg
I'm not sure if I remember the whole thing correctly, but Snowshine would be eaten by other hippocampi if she stayed underwater, due to her disability (hence the leg braces). That's why Adagio and Sunset adopted her.
I'm never gonna live that one down, will I?
Though I guess all bat ponies wear socks, at least during cold nights (or to distract the victims, if they're the blood-sucking ones).
The link to A Royal Favor goes to the author's page.
4907410
It's site policy; I can't link directly to a mature fic from a blog post, as it's NSFW content. All mature fics that I review are linked to the author page instead.
4907427
Ah, gotcha!
In that case, maybe just not have the link on the story title? Just the author one.