WWBP: 36 Questions · 7:30am Sep 6th, 2017
The 36 questions
So I’m studying journalism at the moment, and one thing I’ve come across is a list called the 36 questions. The 36 questions are what I’ve been practicing for interviews, and the history behind them is interesting; they resulted from a study on love, how we fall in love, what causes it and how to maintain it.
The logic behind them is that they’re a series of three sets of twelve questions, designed to be asked in roughly the order they’re presented in, to a stranger. By the end of it, you’re supposed to have a pretty intimate understanding and relationship with a person you’ve just met. The 'inventor' of the questions ended up marrying his research partner over it, and I think they've been happily married for thirty six years now, so I figured there's something to it.
I’ve been trying them out, buying friends of mine drinks in exchange for putting up with an hour of emotional poking and prodding, and I’ve found the questions incredibly effective at what they do. And I’ve also found out that it’s amazing how personal the questions strangers are willing to answer if you ask the right questions in the right order, and with absolute confidence.
Presented below are the questions, in the order I’ve found them. Not only are they fun to answer for yourself, but I think they’re a very useful tool for judging how well you know or understand your characters. Obviously you don’t need to be able to answer all of these for a character to be intimate to you; a lot of actual flesh and blood humans have trouble answering these about themselves.
But they are fun, and it’s still an interesting exercise.
A cookie in the comments for anyone brave enough to answer six from every set:
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Shoutouts to; Ferret, Cavemonkynick, Horizon, DJthomp, Ariamaki, Hoopy McGee, Serifina, Monarch Dodora, Darkszero, Sarge1995 and whoever I missed.
Neat questions. I got almost two thousand words of self-examination out of them. Gonna have to try aiming it at a character in one of my stories next.
They're a good set of questions, though the very first one reminds of some event-hosting thing that keeps being advertised at the movies with a packet of dinner conversation topics. (Probably just these exact questions since the first one seems exactly the same.)
I'm going to skip answering the six questions of each set, since some of them I genuinely have no idea about while others I'm just not comfortable talking or even thinking about.
Set I
1. Mark Rosewater, the head designer of Magic: the Gathering. Getting a chance to pick his brain on game design in general would be immense fun.
2. No. No no no no no no. I value my privacy and personal time far too much... as indicated by how I'm answering these questions in a venue where all can see them.
3. Only if I've never interacted with the person before. With those who know me, it's okay if I flub the lines.
5. To myself, earlier today. To someone else, about a month ago when my sister-in-law and I were discussing the oeuvre of Weird Al.
6. Definitely mind. The body is a lot easier to maintain; at least we understand how that works.
12. Teleportation. Or, if you meant abilities that are actually possible, I'd like to lose my incredible capacity for procrastination.
Set II
13. Will humanity make it off this dirtball before we kill ourselves? And if so, will I live to see it?
14. Publishing an original novel, but I don't even know where to begin there.
16. A shared sense of humor.
17. College graduation after a long, hard struggle to get there. Though Bronycon's a close second.
19. Make arrangements for my belongings postmortem, quit my job, and try to get that novel out. Failing that, tie up the loose ends in my fan fiction. With the clock running, I'd want to get as much done with the time as I could.
23. The more I hear about other people's families, the more I come to appreciate mine.
Set III
26. My love.
30. It's been at least a year since I cried in front of someone else. Far less by myself; "A True, True Friend" still makes me tear up.
32. It depends on the severity of the subject and the audience's psychological distance from it. Given enough time or improbability, almost anything can be funny. Though not dead baby jokes.
33. At the moment, I'd regret not telling anyone what to do in the event of my death. It just doesn't seem likely enough to think about quite yet.
34. It's times like this I wish I had a fire extinguisher... I suppose my wallet. Most things can be replaced, but I'll need money and identification to replace them.
35. My mother. Besides her continuing efforts to prolong her life as much as possible, she's the hub of our family, the sanest member thereof. I'm not sure what any of us would do without her.
Let's do this
Set I
1. Likely GhostofHeraclitus, since we rarely get enough time to truly talk and know each other.
2. Not even remotely. I value my privacy and secrecy too much to ever want to be famous. Even being as well known on fimfic as I am sometimes feels odd.
3. Yes, though I often end up ignoring my practice and winging it. Because they make me anxious
4. Sleeping well the night before, spending time with those I love, learning something new, not having anxiety or depression plague me.
5. Monday night, driving with my best friend, I sang along to the radio. A couple months ago I sang happy birthday to a friend with others.
6. Mind. I appreciate the value of looks, but losing my mind is far scarier to me.
7. I try very hard not to think about my eventual death or anyone else's. I tend to get paralyzed with anxiety otherwise.
8. We both love learning, have a desire to improve ourselves, and anxiety about meeting new people.
9. My friends and family. I have been incredibly blessed to have an incredibly supportive family and friends who do their best to help me when I struggle.
10. I'd wish my parents were better able to understand and support me in the ways I needed.
11. I have limited text to doso, so I'll skip it for now, but if anyone wishes to ask I'll do it.
12. I would no longer have depression.
Set II
13. If I would die content with myself/
14. I want to go to acrobatics class and learn silks. i'm too scared of looking foolish in front of others and getting hurt.
15. I didn't succeed in killing myself at 13
16. Trust. The ability to trust the friendship is genuine, that you'll be truthful with each other.
17. It varies, but right now, Flying home from Australia with my best friend, after an incredible trip.
18. Being told I was lying about being bullied by a teacher.
19. I would have severe anxiety and likely increase my anti-anxiety medication so I could keep functioning and then try to meet the friends I have yet to know.
20. Someone who supports and cares for you, who you can support and care for in turn.
21. They're a major motivation factor in what I do and how I function. I give often and am given much in return.
22. Difficult to do without a partner.
23. My family is incredibly close and warm. I think I had a harder childhood than many in some ways, but in other ways it was happier.
24. I love her, but I also resent her at times. I also feel she has decided she doesn't wish to be a parent and to focus on herself more.
Set III
25. Myself and my dog are the only ones here so:
1. we're both sapient
2. We both love my family
3. We both enjoy stretching out on couches.
26. “I wish I had someone with whom I could share all my fears without threat of judgement.
27. I have severe anxiety and depression, this often means I struggle to do everyday things. I often need patience and kindness and sometimes, even that's not enough.
28. No partner here.
29. I once spent a month calling a friend by the completely wrong name. Somehow, neither of us realized.
30. Monday night and Last night/
31. No partner n_n
32. Recent personal tragedies.
33. How much I enjoyed being with my friends in person. I haven't seen them in person yet.
34. My stuffed stitch doll that was given to me by a now ex-boyfriend that I sleep with at night.
35. My Grandmother, who has already passed. We were incredibly close and similar and losing her was like losing a parent.
36. no partner n_n
Where's my cookie?
4660164
Technically you were only meant to answer six from each set
4660255 But that's boring :P
Okay, I'll bite.
Set I
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
I don't know about famous famous. Noteworthy in the communities associated with my interests, perhaps. So a solid martial artist, a good writer. Currently neither. Bah.
I would like to singlehandedly stop a robbery or a terrorist attack or something. That would be tits.
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Yes! Because otherwise I entirely forget why I'm calling. And I hate when the callee goes and asks things I didn't anticipate. Stick to my script, damn you.
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Get up on time, work hard on things without distraction, feel like I got closer to where I want to be, and sleep soundly.
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Mind. I know how to stay reasonably physically fit, and I'm already scatterbrained enough without old age coming into the picture. I suspect I'm in for dementia when I'm older.
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
If by natural causes, then probably heart attack (death by heart problems goes back, like, three or four generations on my mother's side). By unnatural causes, probably a car crash or something similar. I am a horrifically distractable person, and it's probably only going to worsen as I age.
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Somewhere less isolated might have been nice. I didn't do the whole 'just go hang out with friends on a whim' thing until university. On the other hand, I'm quite comfortable with being on my own for long periods, which is quite handy.
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Whether I'm heading in the right direction in life. Whether the methods I'm using haven't got me there because they're wrong, or because I just haven't done them enough yet.
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Can't think of anything offhand. I've got educated, got pretty okay at martial arts, but nothing I would count as an 'achievement'.
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Matching interests and values. The understanding that I'm not much of a hang-out-for-the-sake-of-it guy.
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I think most of my goals are going to take several years to come to fruition. If I was going to die in a year, I'd just go 'fuck it' and throw everything to the wind. Give all my money to charity, get piss-drunk and pick a fight out of sheer curiousity, remove all verbal filters, etc.
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Very little! Wow, I'm depressing. I've no-one close and never have, and I'm in the kind of job I actively took steps to avoid getting into. Well, I'm alive and healthy, though. Keep inchin' forward.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
We're not really close. I mean we live together, we talk about our days, but there's always a sense of distance. I don't know if my childhood was happier or unhappier than others'. I mean, there's a vast range. I'm probably more disconnected than I should be, though. Which is probably why I've been staring at these questions for, like, two hours.
Set III (Man, there's a lot of questions that require a partner here).
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ..."
my thoughts.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
I can't really recall either, in honesty.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Hopefully nothing, but at the same time, anything that would hurt whoever you're joking to. Humour (so I was once told) comes from horrible things where the 'badness' of it fails to manifest - someone slips over but doesn't get hurt, someone says something nasty in a way that's not genuinely nasty, etc. It can be friendly and accepting (friends laughing at something stupid one of them said; the 'failed badness' is that they know he's not actually that stupid), or it can be horrible (thugs beating someone up and laughing about it afterwards; the 'failed badness' is that a beating is horrible, but they don't care about the person it happened to). Like a knife, it can be an effective tool, but you can hurt people if you wield it differently, or if you're not very skilled with it.
There are different things at different times for different people that become too serious to joke about. You can't crack death jokes to someone the day after their mother's funeral, obviously. And some things will always be hurtful subjects to some people no matter how much time goes by. But I don't like to think there should be anything that can't be joked about, ever or anywhere. If humour is 'horror where the horror doesn't happen', then humour is what you feel when something that should be harmful loses its power to do harm, and becomes something you're not afraid of any more. If something can never be joked about, it raises the idea that we believe it can never be defeated; something that's always going to make us afraid.
Wow, what kind of crap am I spewing.
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
I can't think of anything. Hmn. I'd probably be miffed I never got to have a good discussion about story ideas. I need to produce before I can have one of those without feeling like I'm spouting uncredited nonsense, though, so that's first on the agenda.
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
I can't think of anything. A small part of me thinks I'd be better off if all my stuff burned, to be honest, if for no other reason than it'd be a rough lesson in what I actually do need.
Very nice set of questions.
Set I.
1. Who it is that most other people want. To figure out why the subject is so wanted. Hopefully, it doesn't backfire. If it must be someone I know, umm. Any of three people that I lost contact with because of family.
2. I'd likely hate it at least mildly. If I am to be famous, I would want it to be something easy to shake away from in daily life. Otherwise, I would enjoy fun and experiments, but hate intimacy.
I don't like having to control or pilot conversations, so celebrity does not suit me. And what use is fame?
3. I make a mental recap if I have purpose. I take notes if needed. I engage, confirm my situation and setup, do my work and leave. If something's wrong, I disengage. If I must wait or expect to wait, I read books.
I dislike restricting my physical movements for a mere proxy conversation.
4. Something catastrophic happens right at me, I survive without serious loss. Memory loss counts as serious. Something like that or better.
5. Last sang to nopony in particular today. Mostly because of music I don't dislike played by someone I don't distrust. It was "I will survive." I never actually sang to someone else. But was threatened to sing at least twice in the US, and I think once by father during a holiday. I sometimes hum if very happy. But that's rare. Probably?
6. Weird question. I think I already have that ability. I'd prioritise mind and take care of my body anyways. But if choices must be made, both are precious like life to me. Because without body, what use is my mind?
10. More cultures, stories and languages in my upbringing. But same treatement of contempt and cruelty. I don't want to lose what I got.
12. Write me down an extra life when I'm done with this one. To thrash or keep as I feel like. Otherwise, cheating doesn't feel right?
Set II
13. Oh crystal ball, tell me my weakness and my flaws, and then, tell me yours. That's... a start.
14. Buy pizza or any 'advanced' foods so as to enjoy myself. Haven't done it because I'm harsh on myself, and it is unnecessary for what I currently do. May consider it if I need to heighten my morale.
15. Moral faith and discipline. Mental resilience to torture, ability to sleep on judgement if required. Ability to understand that joy exists, and yet live without it.
16. Frankness and loyalty -to established understandings. Otherwise frienship can be deep or shallow, utility or solidarity, don't care. Don't matter.
20. Friendship is hope for the weak and fun for the strong. I like not needing it, personally.
21. I. Don't know yet. Embarrassment at my inexperience?
23. From what I know, some of my father's family told my grandma to never give me their contact info. So that my father could not use me to get that info... and father told me that I didn't need grandma's contact info, because I could always pass through him if I had a message of any kind. My father doesn't know how to track me down, I hope. And I don't wish to bother anyone... I think my family counts as cold, but I don't like to say it. I sorta hope that the other side of that wall around my father ain't so bad, but grandma never told me, and I never asked.
I sorta don't have a family anymore. I feel like I did my job right. Sadly, no miracle.
24. Slightly unsatisfied. I'd like to check if she's alive and recovered well after last time I saw her.
Set III
26. Silence. Respect and silence. People who don't stick around you in silence, they... may not be so great when you just, need things to be okay. I love good people who understand when to be silent. With which I can share silence. I've seen the dumbest people understand that kind of respect, by the way.
27. See previous answer. I'd throw away snobs with the daily trash. Notice I'm self-reliant, any partner of mine would need to be self-reliant to a degree. And in friendship, never make a demand too steep or too sudden. Never imposed at least. That implies showing hidden expectations in advance, or being ready to, be unsatisfied without arrogant claims,
I guess.
30. Meh. In front of some social worker in the last years, dumb thing about something very specific. I never cry twice on the same memory. Last time when I was alone was on a chair in a bank. Remembered too much about how I wasn't left alone previous times I tried to inform myself. That was, weeks ago.
32. Barring context, nothing. But in context, anything. Personally, torture and fun going out together make a rape child. Throw me a rape child on a bad day in a bad way and I might be very socially cold to you for a while. Possibly for a full winter, even. Nobody irked me that much yet, though. Not yet.
33. Fuck you. I never told that to anyone yet. (Except indirectly like that.) And truth be, if someone evil enough did something bad enough, I'd probably kill first, bury them properly after. But I wish I could find someone to be undiplomatic with, sometimes. I don't truly think anyone merits being told that except to manipulate the world, but man, sometimes I wish I had lived a few years of blissful ignorance in my life.
34. My recovery basket. Contains all important sentimental objects I possess that aren't on display or easy to replace... they are few.
35. Possibly mother's, as it may be my fault. Sort of. And yet not. I might hate not knowing how she died if I learned of her death, but I would easily be okay with it... it would be tougher on me to learn of her being stuck in insanity. I doubt the odds go that way. But I don't know.
Well, that an eight-eight-seven? Aww. Whatever. If you give a cookie, question is, what kind?
Oh. By the way. People underestimate the importance of trust built on well resolved doubts. Such is the reverse of what leads to insanity and phobia. I think this applies to frienship and love and self-esteem. To spell it out, a mentality that builds up your faith capital is important. That is all.
I'm incredibly sick, so I'm home today.
On the bright side, I have a bunch of questions to answer~ I'll try my best!
Set One
Counter-question. Does this person have to be alive currently? Because I'd love to talk over a filet mignon with the decaying bones of Walt Disney. Sounds like a grand ol' time.
In seriousness, if I could bring Walt Disney back to life, he'd be the guest I'd like to have dinner with. He was such a magnificent and imaginative man, and seeing all he's accomplished by today, I'd just love to meet him, if not for any other reason than to tell him what all he's done. Walt Disney is one of my favorite people, ever, so he'd be my choice for a dinner date.
Living, however, Ed Sheeran. I like his music and who he is as a person. Simple enough.
Absotively. I'd love to be famous. And if I could sing, I'd love to be a famous singer. However, I can't sing, so there goes that. Guess I'll have to rap my way to the top. YUH!
I'd like to be famous for a couple reasons, but I guess there's really only one that matters.
I want to have influence. One of the few things I want in life is influence. I want people to listen to me, and I want people to understand me. I don't need them to agree with me, just acknowledge me. I want my opinions to matter, my actions to matter and whatever I do, I want it to matter.
One of my core principles and desires is "help others." I desperately want to help people, and knowing people are listening and knowing what I do or say matters is a major deal for me. So, I'd love to be famous for a couple reasons, but the big one is the influence, or the platform that comes with being famous. I can teach, I can inspire, I can help, I can give, I can do so much that while I'm capable of doing not being famous, it'd be a whole lot easier if I were famous.
I can't say I do. I have, once. I was a young lad, like, ten. And I was going to ask this girl out in my class. So, I wrote her a song and rehearsed the song. Does that count?
In case you're wondering, she said no.
Well, this is pretty simple for me, because I've already had my perfect day. Actually, I have perfect days all the time. A perfect day, to me, is a day where I'm happy. I'm happy, a lot—probably too much—so I have a lot of perfect days. What more could I ask for than to be happy?
This morning I sang this to myself:
And to my coworkers last night:
I sing a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Haha.
Body.
Why? Basketball, ease of movement, and crisp senses (eyesight, hearing, smell, etc.)
Car Accident. I'm guessing because of my age demographic, it's what's most likely as of now.
I mean, I won't die in a car accident, because I'm invincible, and I'm literally incapable of death, and I'm totally not saying this just because I feel I might have jinxed myself.
Brown hair, Christian, White.
This is incredibly sad, but it took me two minutes to come up with the third thing. We have very little in common.
Jesus Christ and the salvation he's offered me as well as the life he's given me, my wonderful parents, my friends, and music—in that order.
This is probably the toughest question yet, but I'd have to say the harshness of far-right values. My parents are wonderful, loving people, and they're fair-ish, when it comes to politics. But they're not pro-LGBT, they throw race around like the old southerners they are, they make assumptions and judgments of people based solely off of political standing which I don't agree with.
I love my parents, but their politics and mine don't get along, and I wish when I was younger I was more open to both sides. I am now, but I wish in my youth too.
The second thing I'm tempted to say is I wish my Mom didn't drink as much, but if she didn't show me what an emotionally abusive drunk looks like firsthand, then I guess I'd been tempted to drink. Because of her, I never will, so I guess that's a good thing.
Setting the timer and...
My name is... and I'm ... years old. My birthday is September 29th (wish me a happy birthday you fuckers, it's coming up soon). I'm a Christian, and June 8th, 2007 was the most important day of my life as I accepted Christ that day. I'm white and was born into a lower-middle class family that's worked very hard to provide me with the living I have today. I've lived a normal-ish life from Kindergarten through high school. When I was four, I started playing basketball (my first love). Throughout school I've been labeled as "smart" and "gifted" as well as talented, nice, and well-liked, as I'm fairly popular, but I prefer to stick to my friends. I love my friends and my family. I have no siblings, just my two parents. I'm an extrovert, and I'm 100% confident I'm answering this question wrong. I've moved once in my life, forty minutes east of where I was. I'm employed at Chickfila, and a university student studying Communications, coupled with Marketing.
Okay, That's like, four minutes and pocket change, since I wanted to finish my last sentence.
I very much took that question at surface level.
I want to be able to sing and sing well. Like, really well.
Set Two
I wanna know how tall I'm going to be. Literally the only thing I care about.
Total joke answer, because I've got nothing.
Jennifer Lopez.
Why not? There's a list of reasons starting with I have no idea where she is.
Not that it means anything now, but I was really proud of maintaining a ridiculously high Cumulative GPA. Not going to share what, but it was above 95. It wasn't the top Cumulative in my school or anything, but with the number of AP classes, the amount of involvement, and constant workload I had, I still had an unreasonably high Cumulative GPA, so I'm proud of it.
Trust and sincerity.
List time:
> Singing 'Perfect' with my Mom at an Ed Sheeran concert
> Giving a speech at my Grandma's funeral
> My last conversation with my Best Friend
> Being 1 out of 117000 to win tickets to the Final Four to watch my favorite team win the Championship that year
> The first time I was called "the most genuine person I've ever met." It's happened several times since.
> My All-Star Basketball Season
God, so, when I was in fourth grade. My friend told me about Bloody Mary. I told her she was stupid, and I'd prove it. So, I did the chant, did the lights thing and the faucet, opened my eyes and lo and behold, before me stood a bloody, screaming bitch.
I ran upstairs crying. I was crying so hard.
I still don't like passing mirrors in the dark. I feel like one day I'm going to be snatched inside, and I'll die. That'd kind of suck.
Obviously, yes. But the real question is "how?" What would I do with that time? And honestly, I have no clue.
I guess the first thing to go out the door would be routine. I don't want any day to be the same as the next.
I'd probably try to do some mission work across the US, I'd spread my story and see what opportunities would open up for me. People are more willing to give chances to those on their last leg, because they know how much it'd mean to them. I'd travel more, probably to Europe, Australia, then just across the US. I'd be more generous, giving away more, because why would I need it?
It's kind of funny, really, how much your perspective changes when your days are numbered. Let me rephrase that, when we know the number of days we have.
We're supposed to be living "life to the fullest," and to me, I'm content. I'm happy. But could I be doing more? Definitely. So then why aren't I? Because I believe i have more time. I believe I'll live to get a degree, live to get a stable job, a wife, have kids, raise them, and be successful. But really, do I know I'll get that?
Nope.
It's funny how perspective changes when we believe we have time. We get "comfortable." But life isn't about comfort, it's about doing. I believe if I was uncomfortable more, I'd do more.
I'm kind of on a tangent, and I had something else to say, but I guess I've lost it. Nevertheless, I think it's a shame how people think and how they live life, like it's abundant so "why hurry." But in reality, it's the opposite. Life is on a timer, so it's up to you to live it abundantly.
This is a loaded, loaded question, and it's not one I think I could do justice by even trying to describe it. Though I'll say a couple things on friendship.
Friendship, to me, is opportunistic. It's also mutually beneficial. Two rather obvious things, both people have opportunities to gain from becoming friends, and friendship is good for both sides, at least "true" friendships are.
Friends are the family you get to choose, which I believe is important, because they're people you've chosen to surround yourself with, they're your "crew," they're the mosh pit down below when you dive off the stage, and they're the sea that surfs you back to the platform. They're also your support to prevent you from hitting the ground. They're there to catch you for two reasons. They not only want to keep you from hitting the ground, they want to bring you back to the stage.
Think about it this way. This person, just this person, who, at first, has nothing to do with you, eventually, whether for want or need, decides they want something to do with you. And not just a part of you, but all of you. They won't leave you, they'll love you and support you, and all they ask for is one thing: to be done the same. Which is just massive. You think, when you break it down like that, "how do I dedicate myself to someone's life?" Then you have two friends, three friends, ten, twenty, fifty, and if you're like me, hundreds then thousands of friends. I mean, I only have about twenty true, true friends and that's no disrespect to all my other friends, but these are people I would take a bullet for without thinking. They're special to me.
But yeah, you're dedicating yourself, your loyalty to a whole person, ten persons, a hundred persons, and if you really think about it, it's like, "How?" And the answer is simple. You don't need to dedicate yourself to someone's entire life. You need to dedicate yourself to the one's they need you to be there for. That's what friendship is. You can't be expected to check with your thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred friends everyday. But you should be there when they need you to be.
I'm rambling, probably doesn't even make sense. But yeah, friends matter. Friendship matters.
Affection is something I offer a lot, and I appreciate any and all affection as long as it's not creepy, constant, and/or disingenuous.
Love is the big one here.
One, my God is Love. Two, love is a core principle of my life. Everything I do, I try to do it with love. Love can be romantic love, love can be wishing someone well, love can be listening to your friend when they need you to, love can be asking someone how they're doing.
I'll keep this one succinct. Love plays a huge, if not the biggest role in my life. I wouldn't be as happy as I am if I didn't love people, the things I do, and go through life doing the things I do with a loving heart. Love is essential, and inescapable.
Shrek is Love. Shrek is Life.Okay, without my partner present (she's at church), I decided to do this one with a close friend.
Positive traits I said about them, in order:
1.) Good Listener
2.) Loyal
3.) Funny
4.) Diligent
5.) Reliable
Positive traits They said about me, in order:
1.) Tolerant/Patient
2.) Genuine
3.) Smart
4.) Friendly
5.) Honest
My family is very tight-knit. It's only three of us, but we're extremely close. I love both of them dearly, and they love me way more than they should, haha. I'm extremely grateful to be blessed with the parents I have, and of course we have off-moments, but that just means we can't stand each other time to time. When you're around someone for eighteen (in their cases, twenty-two) years, you tend to grind each others nerves every now and then, haha.
I feel my childhood was better than ninety-nine percent of others, and I feel I matured quicker than others... he says modestly. :V
This is the heaviest question I've had to answer thus far, and I'm going to say, it's mostly positive, and this is one I'm very sensitive to, and I don't think I can give a quality answer to.
I'm more agreeable with my Dad than my Mom, but as I type this my Mom is literally staring at me, worrying over my safety since I'm her sick lil' sugarpenguin.
I'll say this. I love my Mom dearly, and she's the second most important person in my life, and if she died, I'd be lost without her. We have our issues, but I love my Mom, I love her so damn much, words can't describe it.
Set Three
We're sick.
We're creative.
We tricked you, because we is me, myself, and I.
...a talent with. And that someone is Ed Sheeran. Basically, I there's no sharing. I just want his singing voice. But hey, it's still sharing!
You know, this is kind of selfish, because I don't want to be obvious. The obvious things are "I'm genuine," "you can tell me anything," or "your secrets are safe with me." And all of those are true, and I want people to know that, especially those I'm close with, but I'm going to take this question as an opportunity to be selfish, because no matter what, the other things, my partner will learn just as my close friends have, and that's through my actions.
However, what nobody knows unless I tell them, and I never have the courage to tell them is, you have to push me to tell you what's wrong. I don't feel comfortable telling people things like that without a prompted question, because I feel like I'm bringing attention on to me, and I think I sound needy and emotionally unstable. Funnily enough, part of the reason I decided to answer these questions is so people could know stuff like this about me.
In addition, I would want my partner to say something, rather than nothing. Even if it's wrong, at least I'll know they tried, which is all I could ever ask for.
Since I don't have to have them present for this one, i can do this without them.
First thing, which is the one I'm probably most uncomfortable with is, I like her body. She's very sheepish and awkward so the topic of appearance outside of very broad or lite things is pretty much rocky waters. So, if I were to tell her something raw and honest, it'd be that.
Next, I like her shyness.
Outside of that, I'm willing to say pretty much anything else. I'm pretty bold in taking chances on vulnerabilities, they tend to be unexpected and intriguing.
Well, the first one to come to mind is something I'll never share, but meh.
Uh... I'm going to share an odd one, and it's one I've never really considered embarrassing until now, but I think the first time I ever had pets was embarrassing. I was like eight, but I didn't take care of them well, and they eventually got kicked out of the neighborhood. I'm not proud of that, and while it's not entirely my fault what happened to them, I'm somewhat ashamed of how I treated my dogs when I had them. I didn't like walking them. I didn't like them being outdoor dogs, so I'd let them inside a lot, against my parents wishes and my Dad's health. But yeah... embarrassed by my experience taking care of my dogs, though a lot of the situation was out of my control.
In front of another person? When my best friend's brother, 17, died in a car accident last Spring. That was rough, and it still pains me to this day, because I love my friend. I love him dearly, and my chest is heavy just recalling the incident.
Last time I cried by myself? I think it was when my drunk mother came home, could barely walk, fought my Dad, and ran around the house shouting my name at midnight, while I hid in a closet, crying. That was really hard on me. Her drinking is unreasonably hard on me, and I'm not sure why.
I like their hair. They know this too.
Totally bias, but my faith. Outside of that, there are a few things, but a lot of them are circumstantial. Circumstance matters when it comes to humor. Though, for the most part, I'd say there's humor in almost every subject.
I need to tell my best friend in the world more about Jesus. It's a conviction on my heart, and it's been on my heart for a while.
Secondly, I'd want to tell my parents they succeeded as parents. I don't think I've ever told them that, but they were the best parents I could ever ask for.
This is going to be shallow, but my laptop. I can replace everything else. I don't have a lot of valuables. Though it's going to be a shame losing that Vintage Mickey Mosue hoodie. That shit is lit, yo.
Disturbed by? If it were today, I'd be the most disturbed by my cousin's—not specifying—death. He's too young, but I worry about him. He does some stupid stuff. He's a great kid, has a great heart, but he's a follower.
Most tragic would be my father's by far, though.
I don't think we're going to work. I'm way too busy, I'm looking for dating, you're looking for a committment, and—know what, nah. I'm dropping the facade. I'm dating, because everyone has told me it's okay to date. It's okay to "practice," but I don't feel right "practicing" on another human being I feel like I'm leading on with the promise of a "future" where I know no future exists.
In a relationship, you can tell if there's potential by some intangible "spark." It either exists, or it doesn't. It doesn't here. Do you want to keep pretending there is?
This is a remarkable list. Thank you for sharing.
I am certainly not brave enough to share my answers here, but I will say that you've helped me feel mopey again (on top of having my professional contributions for the last two months officially belittled).
But I do have a few text messages I need to compose now...