Points of Canon: S1x19 - A Dog and Pony Show

An Apple a day keeps The Doctor away, or so they say.

This is the only primary canon source to feature diamond dogs at all. They also turn up in Pedestria, sort of, but otherwise, primary canon pretends they never existed. Anyway.

• There’s a very strange wooden bucket hiding underneath what has to be a dressing table in the background. I wonder what it’s used for. You generally wouldn’t find liquids in a boutique, would you?
• “chic, unique and magnifique.” Rarity’s branding in French again, which is a trend that comes and goes.
• “Well, of course I do, darling. I make it a point to know all of the up-and-coming designers and Clothes Horse magazine simply raved about you.” See the discussions of Suited For Success.
• Sapphire Shores’ outfit involves a piece specifically for the root of the tail, which, I think, is pretty unique.
• It’s interesting that the cart Spike is dragging is specifically adapted for someone who would be doing so with a hand: ponies wouldn’t find the handle very convenient and it doesn’t have any kind of harness otherwise. Presumably, he brought his own cart for this trip. He also lost it on this trip, as it’s not there when they’re coming back.
• So where are they digging? It has to be within walking distance from Ponyville, because later on Spike runs into town, short of breath, asking the Mane 6 for help. If a train ride were involved, he would have an option of going for the authorities along the way. But the terrain doesn’t look anything like Ponyville. Notably, Spike later refers to the place as “in the woods,” but there’s no wood in sight, and in general it looks like some kind of savannah.
• Most of the gems shown can only be found in this kind of soil if they were deliberately planted, or, well, if they grow there. It’s probable Rarity is basically engaging in rock farming gathering. Or even outright farming, if she, at some point, seeded the area somehow.
• Rarity’s gem detection spell runs in low power mode and spools up when a higher concentration or a bigger gem turns up in the search pattern. This is evidenced by her being surprised when her horn lights up. Notably, she also behaves as if the horn is dragging her – well before her cutie mark story is told, where this behavior of the horn is a central feature.
• Rarity addresses the dog as “gentlefellow,” spending some time picking an appropriate species qualifier and finding none.
• Diamond dogs can climb trees.
• Diamond dogs call themselves “diamond dogs,” and these collars of theirs, judging by the color, have to be diamond-studded. We still don’t know what use exactly do they have for the gems beyond that, though.
• “I know that diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” The cultural notion exists. Notably, in our world it’s primarily the fault of De Beers, while the phrase itself is mostly the fault of Marylin Monroe…
• While fighting the diamond dogs, and while digging, Spike uses his tail for a jackhammer. I don’t think this is something he ever repeats afterwards.
• So why did the diamond dogs, instead of filling in the only hole that existed, dig 30 more of them?

• Applejack says, “Rarity won’t even touch mud ’less it’s imported.” This is actually a deeply meaningful phrase:

  • 1. There’s also those imported oats later on in Season 5…

    Imported things carry a connotation of prestige.¹

  • There are places that Equestria imports stuff from. We still don’t know what they are, seven seasons in, but they exist.
• Fluttershy calls the diamond dogs “scary monsters,” so she probably doesn’t know what they are. She definitely doesn’t count them among “critters” or “animals.”
• Spike probably had to ask Pinkie for this fishing rod, because she’s the only one who could have conceivably have one with her. Also, that’s the earliest fishing rod seen in Equestria.

• Spike’s daydream about saving Rarity is particularly notable:

  • Spike calls Rarity “my damsel in distress.” The archetype exists.
  • Spike’s imaginary adult dragon form is not like any other teenage or adult dragon observed since, and I have no idea where could it have come from.
  • Spike’s weapon is not a sword, but some form of a jousting lance, which he primarily uses as a club.
  • One of the diamond dogs uses an ultra high frequency whistle.
  • Spike uses his breath as a weapon and the flame is orange.
• The tunnel structure depicted is only practical if diamond dogs can easily climb walls. Same about the tunnel entrances.
• Twilight copying the gem finding spell after seeing it done once, in the past, has been our primary foundation for the fanon that Twilight can do it arbitrarily all the way until The Crystal Empire, where she essentially does the equivalent by learning dark magic in a matter of hours. Notably, while Rarity’s gem finding would highlight one gem at a time, Twilight’s application of the spell lights up lots and lots of gems at once in a much wider area.
• Despite being armored in metal, diamond dog soldiers use what looks like stone spears. At the same time, the tunnels are lit by nondescript lamps, rather than any kind of open flame sources of light.
• It’s interesting that numerous gems remain undetected right inside the diamond dog tunnels, within easy reach. Diamond dogs definitely have no means of sniffing them out whatsoever.
• The is the only time when Rarity calls hooficure “a pony pedi.”

• 2. There are options.

  “Have you never heard of soap?” Well, whatever substance ponies actually use for the purpose,² “soap” is the name. Notably, we usually see bottles, rather than bars.

• As far as I can tell, the primary reason the dogs can’t tolerate whining is that the whinier Rarity gets, the higher is the base frequency of her voice. The reaction repeats when one of the dogs tries to imitate her.
• “Mules are ugly.” This is racist. :) Actually, this kind of casual racism towards mules turns up more often in the show than the mules themselves. Mules do not appear to mind terribly, at that.
• When the dogs capture the Mane 5, the first thing they do is apply improvised bridles. Twilight’s reaction to Spike’s “Hi-ho Twilight!” is likewise notable. Why do ponies appear to use the things, again, when they know what they’re for?
• Dogs are obviously not experienced riders if even Twilight and Fluttershy can buck them off. Guess they don’t get to do this often.

Chronologically, while this episode is loosely positioned, it can’t happen before Green Isn’t Your Color and Suited For Success, both of which are required to happen before Rarity can possibly attract the attention of Sapphire Shores. There is still no known strict upper bound until Magical Mystery Cure.

Diamond dogs were and remain an enigma:

• We don’t know what is their motivation in making mining for gems the focus of their life. Friends Forever #6, which features them rather heavily, doesn’t explain that either. Friendship is Magic #2 has the Mane 6 pass through caves which contain statues of diamond dogs in much more elaborate garb than seen on screen, with a “Mine for your master” chiseled out on a plaque, but still no explanations. An interesting fanon theory is that just as diamond dogs are slavers, so they are themselves slaves – to dragons. However, no evidence for this ever turned up in canon, while the said statues are likely to be evidence against, and the idea of capturing Spike to hunt for gems would be a very stupid one if they are.
• We don’t know what their legal status in the eyes of Equestrian government is. Or if they even have one. The “kingdom of Dimondia” does not appear to be recognized by any other country, and probably only exists insofar as ponies don’t care what the diamond dogs are doing in their wilderness.
• We don’t know how many exist or where do they primarily live. The tech levels of the artifacts they use are all over the place.

We don’t know jack. Suggestions?

Comments

[Mitch H]

Even the EqG diamond dogs only really appear in that one Rarity short before Rainbow Rocks. There's very little canon to work with, that isn't seen in this episode. Hrm. The armor they use is riveted. And looks custom, it's not just scavenged material strapped together in an ad-hoc fashion like they were Mad Max style neo-savages.

The idea that they're someone else's minions broke free and off on their brutish own seems likely. Somebody custom-made that armor, but not the weapons to go with them. They're all wearing slave-collars. Yeah, I'm going to go with they're deserters from some evil overlord's slave-army.

[Oliver]

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Why are they still digging for gems, though, if so?

[Mitch H]

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Gem prospecting is their preferred way of life? Something cultural? I don't know, why are they 'diamond' dogs? It isn't really explained in the episode, which is kind of a fault of the narrative.

[Meta Four]

There’s a very strange wooden bucket hiding underneath what has to be a dressing table in the background. I wonder what it’s used for. You generally wouldn’t find liquids in a boutique, would you?

Perhaps it’s for throwing scraps and unsorted pieces of fabric into—stuff she doesn’t need anymore for the current job, but isn’t trash per se—so Rarity doesn’t make too much of a mess when she’s “in the zone” and can’t bother cleaning up after herself properly.

Fast forward to ”Sisterhooves Social”: The display room of the Boutique still has that same bucket—two of that same bucket, in fact. But Rarity has other buckets that she uses to actually hold water in. There’s a metal pail when Sweetie Belle scrubs the kitchen floor. There’s a wooden washbucket in the laundry room—darker with more prominent rivets. And there’s a third bucket outside, when Sweetie Belle hangs the laundry to dry, which looks the most like the buckets inside the Boutique, but is still a distinctly different Flash asset.

[Meta Four]

As for the Diamond Dogs, I like the backstory that Cloud Wander came up with them for ”The Tree That Blooms in Darkness”. Granted, I haven’t reread it since 2014, so I don’t recall how canon-compliant it is, but it was a poignant idea:

The Dogs collect gems. That's pretty much all we know of them from the series.

In an earlier story, I suggested, as I did here, that the Dogs, living in darkness, were infatuated with light. "Oooh, sparkly!" they'd think, collecting a gem.

But there is more to their story. In my imagining, the Diamond Dogs had sheltered at the roots of the Tree of Harmony during the last glaciation. For an age, they shivered in darkness, yet were nurtured by her light. When freed by the receding ice age, the Dogs spread throughout the Lands Below.

But still, in their hearts, they long for the light of the Tree. Without understanding, they have searched for Her light in the Lands Below and collected the scraps found in gemstones.

OMG. I just realized that I've re-written the Silmarillion with dogs and ponies!

[Oliver]

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Granted, I haven’t reread it since 2014, so I don’t recall how canon-compliant it is, but it was a poignant idea:

It’s a good idea, but it’s not canon compliant if Friends Forever #6 is taken as canon: The kingdom of diamond dogs is not subterranean.

[howard035]

What I took from this episode was that based on the aged supports in the tunnels, the diamond dogs had been living there for decades. And considering the area is called Diamond Ridge, I believe Rarity is unknowningly claim-jumping the Diamond Dogs. It also looks similar to the forgotten mines beneath Canterlot, so they may have lived there as well. I suspect Diamond Dogs were here before the three tribes ever arrived.

I also believe in the FF comic, the Diamond Dog comic briefly referenced the show Diamond Dogs as some sort of rogue breakaway bad guy group, but I can't really remember.

[QueenMoriarty]

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Why does the escaped prisoner in Pluto's Cave go back inside? Digging is all they know.

[Oliver]

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This sort of explanation would work for one generation, at worst two. After that, the accumulated gems, not being put to any practical use beyond very limited clothing decorations they are seen using, would pile up and force them to reevaluate their priorities.

There has to be something else. And they’re not eating them…

[QueenMoriarty]

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I do hate to pull out the 'we know nothing about the last thousand years' card, but... we don't. There's no telling how recent the Diamond Dog liberation was.

I think. Haven't read the comics you refer to.

[Oliver]

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I do hate to pull out the ‘we know nothing about the last thousand years’ card, but… we don’t. There’s no telling how recent the Diamond Dog liberation was.

No, there isn’t. However, this is in itself a topic for further theorizing: If you settle on using this as an explanation, you have to imagine this liberation happening within historically recent time.

And since diamond dogs do appear to live on and/or very near to Equestrian territory, ponies would have to have been involved one way or another, so you can wonder about how they would be, given what else we know about them.

Mind you, I think it’s a bit unlikely, because of this series of panels from My Little Pony #2:

pa.lindro.me/img/ziggy.png
Ziggy. Stardust.

Assuming the tunnel system was built in the heyday of the Diamond Dog civilization, which seems reasonable, the stalactites growing over it would require a long time to pass, because otherwise the tunnels are bone dry.

Notice that there’s nothing in these panels that suggests that the diamond dogs’ master was anything other than a diamond dog.

[QueenMoriarty]

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Possible counter: The Diamond Dogs we see in the episode proper are a very small number, with no hints of really being a sustainable population. Also, if Diamond Dog civilization proper is so far away and so long-ago that we have stalactites growing, that only strengthens the idea of a small force of enslaved dogs deep in Equestria. Nobody who lives in the same world as immortal sovereigns is going to risk enslaving someone on that person's doorstep and expect to get away with it.

To draw a perhaps unusual parallel, Willy Wonka. His small army of Oompa-Loompas are continents away from their homeland, live in absolute unobserved secret, and if any branch of that world's government does know about Loompa-Land, they almost certainly don't know about the illegal refugees Wonka is exploiting. What we see in the Diamond Dogs could very well be what happens when Wonka gets overthrown, except Wonka in this case is a secret prospector.

[Oliver]

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So who would that hypothetical Willy Wonka be, then, and what did he need the gems for? Seeing the amounts Rarity routinely digs up, they aren't exactly a particularly scarce resource.

[QueenMoriarty]

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Well, if one wanted to be extremely limited in their casting and didn't remember that Barnyard Bargains was a thing, one might say Filthy Rich. But he's definitely not the guy.

Spoiled Rich seems enough of a bitch to try it, but she's a gold-digger who probably never did anything more ambitious than go down on Filthy, so she's out.

Safe to assume that it wouldn't be anyone in Ponyville, in short. Don't bleed where you eat and all that.

One possible one... Suri Polomare. A relentless copycat, sure, but the non-scarcity of gems mean that jewel-encrusted clothes could make up the bulk of her fame and fortune. We also know Sapphire Shores is primarily Manehattan-based, as is Suri. Suri suddenly not having access to her gems anymore because her slaves broke free could, in fact, be the motivating factor in Sapphire Shores seeking out a new designer.

As for why Suri would need the gems... We have no indicator that Manehattan has multiple easily-accessible gem mines like Ponyville, and Ponyville is a farming town, not a mining town, so there could be relative scarcity that way.

[Cursed Quill]

i'm kinda out of it, so savnig for later mostly

Spike’s weapon is not a sword, but some form of a jousting lance, which he primarily uses as a club.

notable perhaps because it is really not a very good biped weapon except when mounted

Dogs are obviously not experienced riders if even Twilight and Fluttershy can buck them off. Guess they don’t get to do this often.

counterpoints: Twilight often has Spike on her back and may have engaged in bucking-off as a play activity. Fluttershy…

E"You Do Know She Wrestles Bears, Right?"

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy

Applejack may have to come to terms with the fact that Fluttershy is stronger than she is.

• Fluttershy
• Rainbow Dash
• Applejack

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