Apr
22nd
2021
Lame Pun Collection · 11:34am Apr 22nd, 2021
So I decided to trawl conversation logs for throwaway lines I spout on occasion. Because otherwise I’d forget them entirely, and some of them are actually good ideas. Granted, most of them are stupid puns… But I like puns, and I’m still not sure why you’re supposed to cringe at them.
And some of them might be thought-provoking.
In no particular order, and some aren’t even pony-related, but I hope you get a laugh out of one or two.
- Consortium – a con where they sort people into bronies and not-bronies.
- Darling Do: A Shirt Story.
- Pony named Forest Hump.
- Do ponies have any equivalent to a drive-in movie theater?
- Just what would a pony disaster movie look like?
- Re-quire-ments are the things one needs to get a choir going again.
- Cardinal directions include for-ward, back-ward and awk-ward.
- Have you ever danced with Discord in the pale moonlight?
- We do data mining. Ponies do responsible data farming instead.
- Maneliness is the quality of having a lustrous mane.
- Vinyl Scratch and her Bass Fanon.
- Story hook: Displaced into Equestria as Sunset Shimmer. Then the actual Sunset Shimmer comes back to visit.
- Wave Motion Canon.
- “Adult content” means “contains adults.”
- Kirinograph: A device that detects the appearance of kirin. Don’t mistake for a coronagraph.
- “Formication” is the act of breeding ants.
- A dashcam is a camera constantly pointed at Rainbow Dash.
- A time travel story named “Scootaloop.”
- Everything always happens in the mean time. Nice time never happens at all.
- When people are out to horse pun California, they always start with “colt”. That’s silly and sounds bad. It should be “Alicornia”, the semi-mythical land where Celestia and Luna have supposedly come from, now actually settled. Ruled by the mythical Hootsman.
- Daring Do, and her sisters: Daring Re and Daring Mi.
- Pinkie has two cousins, Raspberry Pie and Orange Pie. They’re engineers.
- Everyone is concerned with saving Equestria (or prevention thereof). Hardly anyone ever thinks of loading it properly.
- HIPAA is not “Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act” but “Human Interaction with Ponies and Assorted Alliteration”
- Everyoni.
- In a universe where ponies inherit a post-human Earth, there should always be an Isle of Man.
- Chrysalis, the queen of changelogs.
- Jane’s Manual of the Planes.
- Applejack: “You know I ain’t no Lyra!”
- Seaponies practice hydroponycs.
- Wings of Anon-a-miss.
- Vinyl Stretch. <insert clopfic>
- A device called “Moetrope.”
- Is Blunder Bus a weapon or a vehicle?
- Someone should write a story about a pony getting banished here. And then being imprisoned in the place he’s banished to, because that’s going to happen pretty much immediately.
- “Gene Pool” is a valid pony name.
- Getting root on the Tree of Harmony in 6 easy steps.
- Twilight should start telling a story with “Once upon a prime”…
P.S:
Just yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a girl who wasn’t there.
She wasn’t there again, today.
…It looks like Pinkie got her way
"From Apple Bloom to Scotaloo, in order categorical".
I'm sure somewhere in my endless pile of drafts is a timelooping Scootaloo story and I'm pretty sure I even called it Scootaloop. :)
As for why people cringe at puns, I think it's because bad ones are so weak that they're barely even humor, and the joke is that someone would have the temerity to attempt the pun at all.
One pun from the show that seems to get the most flak is "Ponehenge" - out of all of the punny place names in the show, this is the one that sounds silly. I agree, but I'm not sure why. :)
5503828
I’m not even sure it’s really a pun, to be honest.
A documentary.
In the direction of the largest concentration of awks?
And people said rock farmers couldn't modernize.
Median time is a different matter entirely.
I usually go with Califoalnia, myself.
Adorable anime girls or Bart Simpson's prank calls? Depends on the Moetrope.
I imagine that any vehicle that lives up to the name "Blunder Bus" is also a weapon.
I don't know. Seems derivative.
5503837
Naturally.
Honestly, I don’t like the way that sounds either.
5503841
FoME was probably talking about the flying penguins of the Northern Hemisphere. 5503837, I'm pretty sure that's spelled "auk".
(Even if he wasn't, I like that description of auks too much to let it die unread)
5503837
Blunder Bus is a bus where people play bad chess (also, technically bad chess can be weaponised).
5503857
That was indeed what I was going for. Correction duly noted and appreciated.
I feel like Bad Horse would appreciate this joke