On the inadvisability of giving me authority and/or character tags. · 6:49pm Jun 13th, 2017
Salut, a'! Two things to inflict on you today.
First, if you've not already heard, Jake the Army Guy's Horseword Extravaganza is a thing, and is currently running its inaugural contest, for which details can be found here and here! In Jake's wisdom and/or madness, I've somehow been entrusted to be a judge for this (and don't fret, there are several capable others to compensate for me). If you've got an obscure ship in mind - and what sort of terrible person would even have one of those - then whip it out for all to see, and you could stand to win prizes. And before you ask, yes, I'm exceedingly corruptible. Hard cash and/or baked goods for preference.
Secondly, there is a character tag that, hitherto on this site, has managed to see no use. None at all. Poor Mr Stripes hasn't had a single story to his name.
Until today.
The first chapter of Mr Stripes Versus A Cthonic Horror is now available for your reading displeasure. It's the most stupid thing I've written to date, and the poor stallion's going to wish he'd remained untagged. More to follow shortly regardless. 
Someone gave you actual authority?
Not sure how wise that was. Still, what's the worst that could happen...
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I'd be appalled at their poor judgement, if I wasn't too busy exercising my own.
Dammit, I thought I would be the first.
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Apologies for whipping the honour out from under you. If it's any consolation, whatever you write for him can't fail to be better.
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Especially considering I'm going with the insane idea that I described in the Time Action Glory Challenge thread about Mr Stripes.
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Oh, excellent.
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For Jake the Army Guy's shipping contest.
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Doubly excellent.
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Your body, it is not ready.
Sadly, I'm not taking that Extravaganza challenge, though it sounds fascinating. Apart from the romance genre being a foreign country to me*, I'm already tackling the National Pony Writing Month 2017 group challenge. Not particularly well, true, but juggling with one chainsaw is enough for me. Besides, I'm short of money for bribing you judges.
*Although I've long been toying with a Daring Do and Pony Joe pairing. There was a convoluted story behind that idea; trust me, it's not as random as it sounds.
Also, have seen your Mr Stripes story. Is not stupid. Is genius absurdist comedy. Have left comment.
…now do Parcel Post.
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Easily resolvable! Just ingratiate yourself into another contest and establish yourself as a corrupt judge there. When the ill-gotten gains roll in, use them to exploit my corruption. Perfect system. For given values of 'perfect'.
Oh great you wrote a story about a character my initial reaction is GROAN seeing and then I immediately know I have to read it anyways because you great bleeding sod are too fine a word writer to not devour the produce of
CURSE YOU WITH A THOUSAND BEACH TOWELS
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Everyone's lining up to curse my name on account of this. This is fantastic.