Friendship is Card Games: Hard to Say Anything · 10:59am May 28th, 2017
Wherein a shy, well-built stallion tries to get the girl with the dubious help of three friends.
… Wait, haven’t we done this before?
As much as I like the Crusaders putting their pre-mark resource acquisition skills to good use, I have to wonder which talent show those props are from. We definitely never saw their ilk in “The Show Stoppers.” If anything, they look more components of Nightmare Night episodes.
Also, I know this isn’t the first time Groucho glasses have been in the show, but I still have to wonder about the human nose. Not much else in the animal kingdom has that shape.
So Big Mac has been making multiple trips this past week to a village so remote that it can take hours if not days to get there from Ponyville. I know he’s performed long trips for deliveries before, but this is still an egregious warping of the local spacetime.
I do love the brief Cheerilee’s Angels pose.
“Quick, act like apples!” I suppose that makes sense to Apple Bloom. She certainly pulls it off well.
Interesting that Apple Bloom’s heard about Sugar Belle while the other Crusaders haven’t. What, if anything, did each of their sisters tell them about the mission in Our Town?
Solved a case? Scootaloo appears to have confused spies with detectives.
The way to a pony’s heart is through their special talent. Both the episode and I will get back to that later.
An infatuated pony apparently makes pigeon noises. Go figure.
It tickles me how the Crusaders so casually blow what cover they had, along with Big Mac just rolling with Apple Bloom stating the obvious.
I’ve seen people raise eyebrows at the whole “first crush” statement. I’m assuming that Apple Bloom missed the signals during “Hearthbreakers.” Entirely understandable given how most of Mac and Marble’s flirting could be simulated through two computers sending 1s at each other.
Aaaand cue conflict! I’ll give Feather Bangs this, he has a fantastic design for an unlikeable antagonist. Every time I see him, I want to punch him in his face.
Mac’s entirely right to be concerned about the potion. The Crusaders don’t have the best track record with romantic assistance or learning a lesson on the first go.
In this episode: a live demonstration of how TV Tropes will ruin your life. And the lives of others, for that matter.
Also, it does feel weird to have Sweetie insisting on enforcing fairy tale conventions in real life two weeks after an episode that emphasized her growing maturity. On the other hand, she is still barely in puberty, if that. Not exactly a lot of time or opportunity to lose any of the romantic idealism that's sure to come from living with Rarity on a semi-regular basis.
Seriously, how did Sugar Belle miss Big Mac stopping Scootaloo?
The kiss is just… Ew. All of the ew.
Every romance has a musical number? So does the book of fairy tales include sheet music and lyrics or what?
I love how Sugar Belle alternates between confused and flattered during the song before Feather Bangs interrupts. She doesn’t get all the agricultural metaphors and allusions, but she appreciates the thought. (Is it tribalist to think that those lyrics would feel weird for any unicorn?)
Someone call Svengallop. We have a manufactured pop star who escaped the factory.
Molten cheese. Covering a body Flashdance-style. Ow.
Nice Partyglider moment. Pair the spares! (Sorry, Double Diamond. Maybe give everypony some more time to get over the whole “Starlight’s right hoof” thing.)
Yes, Sugar Belle’s a real pony, not a fairy tale princess. Who’d be so foolish as to think somepony might get charmed by some noble figure, rescued from a horrible monster, and live happily ever after in some beautiful far-away kingdom? One that, for example, might be made entirely of crystals? What a ludicrous notion!
I love how Scootaloo rattles off the whole “librarian with a mysterious past” spiel. The typical OC introduction is now canon.
The tour joke’s hilarious, but it does highlight how there’s still been zero expansion in Our Town since Starlight was deposed. Landscaping, yes, but no new housing. Indeed, less housing, given how Starlight’s house was torn down.
Getting back to what I said before, Mac’s method of winning Sugar Belle over is very appropriate to her character and history. Up until now, he was just treating her as a generic love interest, going through the motions in gestures that that could apply to any mare. Only when he focused on Sugar Belle, who she was, what she did, and what she wanted, did he succeed. This is a mare who helped organize the anti-equality resistance. Anyone trying to woo her needs to acknowledge that she is an individual with her own goals and dreams, not just another pretty face.
Yes, with Mac’s help, Sugar can now make whoopie… pies. Cough.
Feather Bangs is like a dog chasing a car; he has no idea what to do if he actually succeeds. Given the hearts on his rump, the Crusaders may actually be able to help him… though whether they should be helping ponies whose talent may be seduction at this stage in their career is a different matter.
In all, this has a few questionable bits of characterization and causality, but far more notable is the potentially massive shift in status quo. There is a new canon ship. What remains to be seen is what, if anything, the writers do with it. Personally, this was another episode I found a lot more enjoyable the second time; it’s much easier for me to enjoy cringe comedy when I know when the jokes will end.
Now, time for me to indulge in one of my personal passions:
Forfeit 2W
Instant
Destroy target blocking or blocked creature.
After one look at Feather Bangs, Big Macintosh knew he’d never win Sugar Belle’s heart.
Peppermint Seraph 4W
Creature — Unicorn Angel
Flying, lifelink
On Ungula, moral and gustatory goodness are nearly indistinguishable.
3/3
Recon Agent 1U
Creature — Pony Rogue
Skulk (This creature can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
Whenever Recon Agent deals combat damage to a player, investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Enemy activity is the greatest mystery of all.
1/2
Backup Singers 2U
Creature — Pony Band
Whenever you activate an activated ability of a Song, you pay 2. If you do, copy that ability. You may choose new targets for the copy.
Ungula's magic empowers harmony in all its forms.
2/2
Covert Corsair 3U
Creature — Pony Pirate Rogue
Islandwalk
Prowl 1U (You may cast this for its prowl cost if you dealt combat damage to a player this turn with a Pony, Pirate, or Rogue.)
When Covert Corsair enters the battlefield, if its prowl cost was paid, target land becomes an Island for as long as you control Covert Corsair.
2/2
Massive Shipment 5UU
Sorcery
Draw three cards.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)
Shady Librarian 2B
Creature — Unicorn Rogue
B, Sacrifice Shady Librarian: Target player draws a card and loses 1 life.
”Library science can go mad just like any other.”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
2/2
Juggle Options R
Instant
Exile the top three cards of your library. Put one of those cards into your hand, one on top of your library, and one into your graveyard at random.
The sleight of hoof distracts others from the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing.
Mane Flip 1R
Sorcery
Gain control of target Pony, Pegasus, or Unicorn until end of turn. Untap that permanent. It gains haste until end of turn.
In a land of fast friendships, charisma is a potent weapon.
Saddlebag Snatcher 1R
Creature — Pegasus Rogue
Haste
Whenever Saddlebag Snatcher attacks, gain control of target Equipment an opponent controls until end of turn. Attach it to Saddlebag Snatcher. When you lose control of that Equipment, unattach it.
”Why fly when there’s so much to take down here?”
1/1
Swooning Trio 1R
Creature — Pony Citizen
Whenever a player casts a Pony, Pegasus, or Unicorn spell, that player gains control of Swooning Trio. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)
“How unseemly. A proper lady does not fall to the ground at the slightest provocation.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
3/3
Impulsive Charmer 1RR
Creature — Pony Rogue
Whenever Impulsive Charmer attacks, you may exert it. When you do, gain control of target creature defending player controls until end of turn. Tap that creature. It is now attacking that player. (An exerted creature doesn’t untap during your next untap step.)
3/1
“Battle for Sugar Belle” 3R
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Battle for Sugar Belle”.
3RR, Sacrifice “Battle for Sugar Belle”: For each creature target player controls, gain control of that creature until end of turn unless that player has “Battle for Sugar Belle” deal X damage to him or her, where X is the number of verse counters on it. Untap all creatures you gain control of this way. They gain haste until end of turn.
Brief Tour G
Sorcery
Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library. If you control exactly one land, you may play an additional land this turn.
”It’s not much, but it’s ours.”
—Sugar Belle, Our Town baker
Recycled Resources 2G
Sorcery
Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature.
Dredge 3 (If you would draw a card, instead you may put exactly three cards from the top of your library into your graveyard. If you do, return this card from your graveyard to your hand. Otherwise, draw a card.)
Apple Family Agent 3G
Creature — Pony Rogue
Trample
Whenever Apple Family Agent deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.
Some intelligence operatives prefer the direct approach.
3/3
Expanded Shelving 1
Artifact
You have no maximum hand size.
At the beginning of your end step, if you have seven or more cards in hand, you gain 3 life.
Some ponies dream of conquest, fame, or divinity. Others will settle for a bigger bakery.
Tinted Lenses 4
Artifact
T: You may spend mana as though it were mana of the color of your choice this turn.
Even without the black and white simplicity of the green singer mangling the blues, Sugar Belle would have still been seeing red.
Apple Cannon 6
Artifact
XX, T: Apple Cannon deals X damage to target creature.
2G, T: Destroy target creature with flying.
”It’s just a prototype, but Pinkie said she’ll help me with the next one.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Frantic Construction W(br)
Instant
Return target artifact card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste until end of turn. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
”Doesn’t matter if it lasts. What matters is we get it built now.”
—Apple Bloom
Fabled Rescuer 2WU
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Heroic — Whenever Fabled Rescuer becomes the target of a spell you control, put a +1/+1 counter on Fabled Rescuer and return up to one target creature you own to your hand.
Ponies are quick to forget villains but never abandon their heroes.
2/2
Damselnapper 4UR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
When Damselnapper enters the battlefield, gain control of target Citizen for as long as you control Damselnapper.
R: Damselnapper gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
Spike groaned. This would set back dragon-pony relations for years.
3/4
Maybe he has a little Party Pony in him. He is distantly related to Pinkie Pie. Sometimes the fast travel times across vast distances are a little too convenient in MLP, though.
They even refuse to name it, preferring to call it “Starlight's Old Village” which sounds a lot more clunky than Our Town or even Equals Sign Town.
I did appreciate Apple Bloom putting her construction skills to good use in helping Big Mac build the shelves.
Overall this is a decent episode. The cringe humor parts were hard for me to watch, but non-cringe jokes were genuinely funny.
Well, the Apples are related to the Pies...
Juicy and delicious?
Confused Chicken is still recovering from Bow and Windy.
You know...I think people are massively overreacting to Feather Bangs. I mean, he's just an obnoxious pretty boy flirt. He's catching way too much heat for what he is.
Agreed.
I know, right? I'm still cringing.
...goddamn you. Now I'm picturing that literally, as in Midori no Hibi.
Better to be pimps than hos, I guess?
This is ep was funny, yet hard to watch.
The Big Mac n' Sugar Belle ship will more then likely never be seen again. Typical of anyone involved with Big Mac. More so with this as the ep is a Beauty and the Beast parody. Sugar Belle was only the object of Mac's affection because of her name.
I will contend that Mac can make multiple trips to Our Town because they tore it done and rebuilt closer to Ponyville. Also it explains why Starlights cottage is not in evidence. She didnt need it and they didnt want a reminder of there traumatic past.
"their"
I'm just waiting for the inevitable Mac-Sugar-Marble-Shy stories. There were a few Mac-Marble-Shy stories after that ep aired so adding in another mare is the obvious next step.
Massive Shipment is one of those all or nothing cards that can either make or break your next turn. Send all your mana this turn for a potential great next turn, or maybe four of the six cards will be lands and the other two utility cantrips you don't have the other combo pieces to go with.
I like how Brief Tour doesn't put the land you just found "onto the battlefield instead" so you can play a non-basic that turn in exchange for all other players knowing one of the cards in your hand.
That flavor text on Tinted Lenses. Really. You went there. It works. But you still went there.
Part of me wants Frantic Construction to untap the Artifact if it enters tapped, just so you can combo it with things such as Door to Nothingness.
4549765
So kind of like Flash Sentry then?
4549729
Hmm. Maybe it's literally fast travel. The first time Big Mac got to Our Town, it was added to his map. Or folding space is part of earth pony magic. Probably helps with those long pie deliveries.
4549765
Story when?
In all seriousness, I don't hate Feather Bangs as a character. I just find his design punchably obnoxious.
4549829
The good news if they do drop the ship? It'll be a fertile field for both romantic tragedies and reconciliation fics for other Mac pairings.
As for the town relocation, I'm very iffy there. Though I could buy the railroads extending the route to include a stop closer to the town.
4549840
What, no Cheerilee?
As for Tinted Lenses, yes. Yes I did. It was tinted eyewear, and we have precedent there when it comes to Magic cards. It's not even the first riff I've done on Sunglasses of Urza; that was Corundum Lenses.
This definitely felt like an episode that would've been easier to watch with a friend. Still really liked the message that generic grand gestures are dumb, and that personal stuff goes a lot farther.
Anyone else get the feeling that Feather Bangs is/was part of a boy band?
4549846 Now that you mention it, travel in Equestria does seem to operate like most video games.
The flavortext on Swooning Trio
As for the glasses, maybe Groucho is like the Equestrian version of Bigfoot?
i honestly think I will never watch the song again in my life. And the sleeping beauty kiss. But other than that, this was a really funny episode full of hilarious lines and adorable moments.
4549846
I don't think of Cheerilee when I think of Big Mac ships. They never really "clicked" in the one episode they were literally forced together. In fact once the love poison wore off they kinda just looked at each, shrugged and went their separate ways, not even so much as talking about what just happened.
Shy-Mac was of course "pair up the two that don't talk-much", even though the two never really interacted on-screen back when that ship was really popular.
Marble-Mac was pretty much the same but maybe with a bit more fuel from various scenes with the two of them together.
Now we have a canon love interest for the big lug so there's going to be a lot of stories about the two of them.
And the others.
Of course we all know that Big Mac gets all the mares anyways. ^_^
Fun fact: SuperPinkBrony noted that this is the first episode that doesn't feature any of the Mane Six, nor any of their voice actors.
I hate those goddamn glasses so much. They have no business being on a pony's face!
I know what you mean! I was all ready to hate on him, and then they gave him character development at the end. Darnit.
I like how they gave yet another dislikable character to Vincent Tong though. XD
I'm really disappointed that not more has happened with this place, especially since they keep going back there! I had always assumed that the village was so barren because of Starlight's tampering with the natural order - but since she left, I really wanted to see what would happen to the place now that the villagers are in charge of their own destinies. There are so many great stories to be told about an isolated frontier town with such an unusual genesis, and the strange experience shared by all its inhabitants. I know that the show isn't the place for those stories (that's our job) but it really wouldn't be hard for them to worldbuild this even a little.
But no. It's still barren and doesn't even have a name. Boo.
...
HEADCANON ACCEPTED.
The cringe was real this episode.
I wonder if she felt awkward or tribalist having to explain that she didn't get the farming metaphores to the earth pony?
I'm... not sure Juggle Options is a good card. It's basically a cheaper red version of Telling Time, except attempting to incorporate elements of impulsive drawing without understanding the point of impulsive draw. It comes across as too cheap and not red.
4557371
The key phrase is "at random." There's a good chance of whiffing with it. It's almost as bad as a pickup line that begins, "Hey girl, these balls are like you."
4557395
Okay, sorry, it was written so that I read it that you picked where each card went, just the last one went to a random part of your graveyard. I don't know if it's something that can be fixed with better formatting, or if I'm being especially thick today.