Flim, Flam, and the Little Lost Apple Scam starts posting June 1 · 3:29am May 20th, 2017
In honor of Mistress Mare-velous, the Equestrian version of Wonder Woman, and her new movie, I'm going to start posting Flim, Flam, and the Little Lost Apple Scam on June 1, continuing on for eleven chapters. Unfortunately, I don't have enough of other stuff to do a chapter a day for a whole month like I did last year. I *could* make it to the end of the month if I were to publish what I have of Her Royal Morning Coffee, but I'm holding out until the whole thing is done. It's far better that way.
As a bonus for readers (click below), I'm attaching the character introduction of Twilight Sparkle from Chapter 4 of Equestria - 1940, which is still going to be quite a few more months before its all the way done, so have patience.
Equestria : 1940
Friday 14 June - Canterlot, Equestria
“I will also take a sprig from the lofty top of the cedar and set it out; I will pluck from the topmost of its young twigs a tender one and I will plant it on a high and lofty mountain.”
— Ezekiel 17:22
Morning came and went in the Canterlot castle, capitol building of the Equestrian principality. The thick stone walls of the guest quarters were far from the hustle and bustle of governance, and the thick curtains prevented Celestia’s sun from disturbing Jon’s sleep, but his welcome rest was about to come to an end.
Sometime late in the morning, perhaps when it had turned into afternoon, some base instinct roused him ever so slowly from his exhausted slumber. At first, he thought the last few days had been a dream, and he was still back in his small apartment in Washington DC. The fresh floral scent of the blankets made that highly unlikely, and as one detail or another began to filter into his perceptions, he began to get closer and closer to actually waking up.
The faint scratching of a quill against paper was the last detail that made him actually open his eyes just a little bit.
There was another set of eyes just a few inches away, staring back at him in rapt fascination.
He closed his eyes, then opened them again, just to be sure.
The big violet eyes were still there, framed in a pale purple face that was unquestionably an Equestrian unicorn, although without the elaborate manestyles most of them sported. Instead, her blue and pink striped mane was almost brutally chopped off in a straight line right above the eyebrows, as if she had determined the exact minimum amount of time and effort needed to get her hair cut, and most probably she had cut it herself, because Jon could not imagine another pony cutting her mane so ineptly.
The same lack of social effort was obvious in the rest of her face as well. There were no earrings, bows, bracelets, bangles, or other shiny forms of self-expression to differentiate her from the herd, other than the most intent stare filled with burning curiosity. If he had not recognized the Student of the Sun from the detailed description Princess Celestia had given him earlier, he would have been deeply upset, but since this was the fragile vessel of the world’s salvation from a dark alicorn corrupted by Nightmares…
He needed coffee. Now.
Lacking the life-giving beverage, he took a deep breath instead. The air was fresh and crisp, cooled with the altitude of Canterlot and bearing with it the dust and general nature of an ancient structure that most probably had been built when Moses was still in nappies. Mixed in with the refreshing feeling of antiquity was a most current scent of a unicorn who apparently had not been keeping up with her personal hygiene to the same level most of the fastidious unicorns Jon had met before. It was not exactly a repellent scent, but a vague horsey-sweaty odor mixed with old paper, fresh ink, and tea, which most certainly wafted in his direction from Celestia’s young student, and made him realize something that would make his job of Friendship Instructor that much more difficult.
She looked and smelled like a complete and total nerdicorn.
“Hello?” he ventured, since “What are you doing in my bedroom?” was a little too direct, and “Good morning” had the distinct possibility of being wrong by a few hours.
The unicorn’s face lit up and she began babbling in rapid-fire German so quickly that Jon was unable to make out more than about one word in each sentence. If he had any doubts about the identity of Celestia’s student before, they were gone now, replaced by his expanding understanding of just why she had such a hard time making friends. She was at least prepared for her morning ambush of her new teacher, from the stack of books beside her. There were a few German phrasebooks, several Equestrian books on various topics, two scrolls for some reason, and a biology book with a naked human on the cover that was certainly not published outside of the Equestrian borders.
And triggered by the picture on the cover, Jon realized that he was likewise naked under the covers.
Rather than wait for a conversational hole in the unicorn’s rapid babble, Jon pulled the covers up a little more and blurted out, “Excuse me, Miss—”
Name, name! What was her name? Something light related, or sunrise maybe?
The young unicorn promptly looked totally mortified that she had been speaking in German and switched to English almost mid-syllable, starting right where she had before and repeating her previous burst of words, only this time marginally more understandable. He did manage to catch the phrase ‘lunch’ out of the waterfall of words before the presence of a second creature in the room drew his attention.
There was a dragon standing rather casually next to the babbling unicorn, nearly the same purple color as she was and holding a scroll and a quill as if he were expecting at any moment to take a letter. He was just as dissimilar as the other variegated dragons, most certainly bipedal and counterbalanced by a thick tail, but lacking the wings the vast majority of the others had. If Jon had not already seen an entire extinct volcano filled with considerably larger dragons last night, the sight of the little dragon might have disturbed him. Since the little guy only would have come up to Jon’s waist at best, he was not exactly the most fearsome of beasts, even with the sharp teeth, pointed nails at the ends of his stubby little fingers, and…
Well, maybe he is a little scary. If the unicorn doesn’t talk me to death, he could always scratch me.
“Pardon me, Miss.” Jon had to talk as loud as he could to break the unicorn’s chain of speech, or at least fracture one link of it so he could get in a word edgewise. “Have you seen my pants?”
As introductions went, it was significantly lacking.
So. Much. Hype.
Seriously can't wait for this !
4539441 Just be aware that the Flim-Flam story is less emotionally dramatic and more complicated, because Flim and Flam lie frequently. Sometimes, even to each other.
TBH, I'm more hyped for 1940 than Apple Scam.
However, I'm EVEN MORE HYPED for the eventual third book in the saga of Mister Baron Gaberdine Sir.
I guess I should have clarified, while I enjoy all your stories, I'm most excited for Equestria 1940. Honestly, I just want to see Rainbow Dash dogfight a Messerschmidt ME 109
Wonder WomanMistress Mare-velous is grand, and you accordingly have my excitement on the Flim-Flam Front.More to the point of my commenting, however:
World War Two and its associated military and political eccentricities excite me (and indeed I am currently studying naval aspects for, erm, extracurricular purposes). Recently I performed on stage set in a similar time period. Your mind works strange wonders of setting and character and, speaking as a fellow wordsmith (albeit one far less creative, and prolific in the manner of the amur leopard), your prose shines. Every hint of this "Equestria – 1940" enthralls.
…This is to say, yes. Yes, please. I'll wait.
Cap'n, if the hype levels keep risin' like this, I dinnae know if the engine can take it!