Review: Imposing Sovereigns Stories, Usurpers · 4:07pm Apr 7th, 2017
The badass, dominating, hardcore Princesses who fight for what they want and decimate those that stand agsint them through shear skill and prowess have had their day, no it is time for another group to take the spotlight. Those who take what they want, who seize power anyway they can. Be it diplomacy, deceit, politics, war, or simply being to damn awesome to not be allowed to take over. These Usurpers will have their day in the limelight, they will taste the joys of the power they so desire, and nothing will stand in their way. How will this group of stories hold up to the last one? Let's find out.
An Apple a Day Keeps Autocracy Away. by: MrNumbers
First up we have......... another Accusation Fic.. oh.... goodie.... One that's... let's see.... all about how worthless Celestia is....... do I really have to review this one?
I did promise to review every fic in this collection... so guess I should. Alright, disclaimer/real talk before I get into this. I did not like this story at all, in any way. I did get the feeling that it was meant to be funny, not a serious "Celestia Sucks" story. But what something is meant to be matters less then what it is. What I see inside the words chosen to tell the narrative. I am a rather firm proponent of Death of the Author to a large extent. So what something is 'meant to be' will have less bearing then what it is. Not none, but a lot less. That I don't think it was meant to be as bitter, mean-spirited, and nasty as I found it to be is the only reason I'm this hesitant and doing this rambling bit rather then talk about the story itself. If not for that, I would just tear this thing apart without regret. From what I see in the reactions.... I appear to be the only person with any issues with this thing. I do prefer on the whole to keep my reviews well on the side of constructive criticism... I might not ALWAYS do that, some parts of a story might just make me pissed off, upset, or disgusted enough that just want to tear them apart and show how bad they are, explaining just why they are so wrong. While still giving props to what a story does well. This simply.. was not in any way shape or form a story I enjoyed and I have not one good thing to say about it beyond the most cliched 'positive' of "at least it was short so the pain didn't last long." and it seems it's just a matter of taste. That the type of story it is is antithetical to so much of what I look for in stories. So keeping this in mind.. I will give some more full thoughts on the story and why I disliked it, but they are just my opinions and... if you could like this story, I think I see why. It's just not one I could ever enjoy and if it wasn't for this contest and promising to do them all, I would have simply ignored this thing. Skip the rest of this entry if you don't want a lot of negativity.
So... I freaking hated it. I believe the reason so many like it despite all the stuff in it I could not stand is that they see it as just a joke, not serious, just a fun, exaggerated parody. Odds are everyone will just say I'm 'taking it to seriously' which might be the case. But, to me, it kind of missed one important part of being able to pass this stuff off as a bit of comedic parody. Namely... none of it is funny. There was not one joke, one line, one scene that I found the least bit amusing. It's only two jokes repeated over, and over, and over, and over. "Celestia is a pathetic, worthless, out of touch, elitist moron" and "Big Mac is a perfect, flawless, grand, incredible bastion of purity, wisdom, and all thing Mary Sue." The whole base premise is just so damn insulting and idiotic... without being over the top absurd or ridiculous enough to loop back around into being funny. It plays it all to straight to buy this as 'comedy' when the only 'joke', is how much of a worthless POS Celestia is and how much everypony fawns over Big Mac. Not one character was in character, not even exaggerated version of it. The constant hammering of how out of touch and good for noting Tia is got old after the first bit. And just saying over and over how perfect big Mac is falls apart when he never does anything beyond us being told he was awesome and fixed everything perfectly in a day.
I do not see any humor in anything here. I can see that the story clearly thinks it's being funny, but I can't see the slightest hint of it actually accomplishing this. It denigrates, slams, chastises, and takes every chance it can to mock Celestia for shit it made up just to bitch about her being worthless for. (and if you think it's just me not being able to take a joke about this, wait till later. There is another fic that does this same basic idea of 'remove Celestia from power because she's clearly unfit', but did it right.) So yeah, this story does nothing but beat into the ground how much it thinks Celestia is worthless in a way that does feel like that is not what it's intending to do... but is what it ends up doing anyway.
Prompt wise, Princess check, usurps power, check.
Overall:Bad
(Also, as a note, I do know there is the 'alternate ending' in the comments. First off, to paraphrase SF Debris (again), "You don't get credit for things you didn't put in your story because, and follow with me now because it's complicated, you didn't put it in your story." Second, while I do vastly prefer that one, it still does not change the fact there was not a single moment I enjoyed reading this story, and it does not address all the issues, nor does it really match with what we have been shown. Raises to many questions, and comes off as to little to late for just how nasty it was towards Celestia for so long. If I did go with that instead, it would only bump the story up to "poor" and I'd still prefer to have never seen this story.)
An Orderly Transfer of Power, by: Kris Overstreet
You know what, why wait? Just put these two back to back to show the difference. This is another fic where Celestia gets deposed because somepony feels she has become unable to competently do her job. Feels she simply doesn't do anything beyond look regal and go to parties. This does all sound rather familiar. Yet as I said above, this story takes that idea and does it right. First off, by having all this be just the point of view of one pony. It's just Twilight Sparkle believing this, and we are given in story reason for her to feel this way. It's not just taking as a given fact that this is how Celestia is. We see the lead up to it. See Celestia pushing Twilight more and more, sending her on more and more petty, pointless tasks. Culminating in "I need to go out for a while, go watch Flurry Heart so Cadance can take over for me." It's petty, it's ridiculous, it's absurd. And that is half of what makes it work. But yes, if it was that alone, I'd likely still be calling out the story on it's mistreatment of Celestia.
No, what makes this fic work so well, despite so much being done to cast Tia in a negative light. Is none of it is true. The above bit that would be kind of stupid and right on the border of 'absurdly stupid' and 'absurdly hilarious'? It's all part of her plan. This whole thing, up to and including making Twilight believe she was to incompetent to rule. All served to prove exactly how competent she was. This was her playing everypony like fiddles. Moving five steps ahead of everypony else and effortlessly getting exactly what she wants without anypony the wiser. At worst, it's her being a troll. But one that has several points beyond her own amusement. Her whole plan was a master stroke. Gives her and Luna some much needed time off. A break from the weight of their crowns while leaving Equestria in capable hooves. Times it perfectly right to have Twilight in the right place at the right time to tackle something she is rather uniquely suited for; making a well thought out, complete, balanced, and orderly Equestrian Budget. Is ready to step back in the moment she is needed and before anything goes to far. All while teaching Twilight a valuable lesson in, among other things, Maxim 63
The brass knows how to do it, by knowing who can do it.
All of this served to show a very important lesson not only to Twilight, but also to all the people that think both like Twilight did, and the above fic comes off as. It's ridiculous to expect a single pony, even a Princess, to solve every single problem personally. This is what delegation exists for. The greatest leaders are those that know how to delegate properly. Know who they can trust to get stuff done, know who can do what. Who are able to put the right pony/person in the right place, at the right time to solve the issue. While being fully willing to step in and deal with something yourself if that is the best way for it to be dealt with.
The simple fact that this was all a grand, insanely elaborate scheme by Celestia to do all of this at once, solve so many problems, all while seeming to be incompetent and bumbling, it is genius and I loved it. Now yes, the way she went about it was a tad bit overly trollish to fully buy in Celestia. This is where the 'it's not a case of no sense of humor' bit comes in. It works in this story because it is meant to be exaggerated, absurd. This is a comedy, a bit of fun. But where this zigs while the other one zags is, first and foremost, it's actually not just funny, but freaking hilarious. But two, this is taking a real, existing trait of Celestia's (she does have a rather mischievous sense of humor and is not above causing a bit of chaos to have fun, so long as nopony is hurt.) and just, tweaking it a bit higher then normal. Cranking that up just a tad, and using it to pull off the most absurd plans ever. Rather then just going 'lol she sucks at everything' over and over. All the humor is derived from who these characters are. From taking what is true about them, actual facts, and just giving them the tiniest push in ways that make sense in the story. Twilight scheduling a revolution with Celestia, to overthrow Celestia? Even going so far as to have a law passed to create the form to do that? That is the right mixture of true, yet absurd to be hilarious. But what ties it all together and makes me love this story so much, is not just how many times I broke down laughing my ass off. But just how well everything ties together in one neat, perfect little package. Just as Celestia had planned and while getting everypony involved just what they really needed out of it.
Then the 'addendum' chapter happened. For all I loved the story till then, it was teetering right on the border between ratings. This is what tipped the scale. Sadly, towards the lower rating. It was just a bit to much, the story over reached here. Pushed things just that one tiny step to far or me. Between just how over the top it went with some of it (which was still hilarious, but to the point where the pure humor eclipsed and edged out any reason or sense of order to the story.) Then, it pushes Tia that one notch to high up on the 'Trolllestia' meter. The main story, yeah she was trolling Twilight, but in a way that ultimately helped Twilight, as well as quite a lot of Equestria. It was a bit to dickish to buy from canon Celestia, but just absurd and hilarious enough to buy for this story. This... was just her being a dick for the sake of being a dick. It was still funny, but did leave the story ending on a slightly sour note for me. Just a step to far.
Prompt wise. Another clearly right on the money. Princess Twilight usurping power (in a very orderly manner) from Celestia. Only to then have it taken right back with a single question. (And yes, very well done bit there. Works as a reference, but also perfectly fits the setting ot the point that, if you were not aware it was a reference, you'd never suspect you missed anything.)
Overall:Incredible
The Timestone, by:Bachiavellian
Starswirl the Beaded has tried to spend his last few years trying to help forge the now unified tribes into the single, united nation of Equestria. Trying to guide and prepare the young Alicorns asked to be the new nations official heads of state into truly being it's rulers, not the mere figureheads they are now seen to be. He knows there will be great challenges ahead, trying time for his friends that he wants to be there to help them with. However, he also knows he does not have much time left, that they will likely out live him by centuries, possibly millennia. So he hits on an idea to be there for them at their most trying times. Sealing himself away in a pocket universe between reality and the eternal void of that which sits beyond. The catch, the Timestone that will allow them to enter it and speak to him, seek his counsel, will only last for five such visits, so they must choose the points at which their need is most dire.
This is pretty much the definition of a character focused story. There is literally nothing actually going on beyond two characters in a blank void talking to each other. At least on the surface and as far as what we see. There is quite a lot going on behind the scenes of which they talk about. But what will make a story like this sink or soar is the strength of the character interactions. So how do they do? Fairly well overall. I did really enjoy the interactions, you could feel the love, respect and care Celestia and Star Swirl have for each other, despite his cantankerous nature. The single best aspect, and one of my favorite parts that solidifies this and truly sells Starswirl's character to me and makes me love him, all while not being stated directly, is the contrast between visits one and four. When Celestia enters, uses a charge of the stone primarily to check on him, to make sure this worked, primary simply because she was worried for him, he chews her out a bit for it. Yet, when she later uses another charge for no reason beyond simply needing to talk to him, to share her grief, her pain at the loss of Luna, simply needing a bit of emotional support to pull herself out of her grief. Reaching out to her oldest and dearest friend for a bit of comfort for herself? He immediately sets her mind at ease about it, telling her this was exactly what he had meant the Timestone for. All unsaid, it shows just how dedicated to Celestia he was. His own comfort, his own needs, they were meaningless. Even helping her guide Equestria and take power into the hooves of one far more worthy was secondary to being able to be there to comfort his friend when she needed him. We even see this in the final visit. He is a stubborn, cantankerous, ornery old bastard. Yet deep down it's clear how much he cares about other ponies and places them before himself.
So yes I truly did love the dynamic between them, the biggest issue I have with the story overall being how little of it we got, how rushed it was. IMO, story might have been better with a tweak that the time flow stabilized so time passed the same rate in Equestria and Starswirl's little bubble while the rift was open. Or at least closer to each other. Give them more time to really build things up and interact. But I do get it kept things brisk and urgent. It's by no means a bad idea and it works perfectly fine, I simply would have really loved to have more time to get into them interacting ans really connect. The one place this really hurt the story though was the final visit. One the one hoof, it was so damn sweet, so touching, so emotional so.. so just beautiful that it happened as it did. That the reason for it was what it was. But on the other hoof, the visit itself was far to rushed, far to clipped, and it sadly.. never really built up the emotional torque that was just laying there waiting to be used. It was a great idea, but one the story did not utilize to more then a fraction of it's potential.
Prompt wise, another odd take on the idea. While Celestia seizing power is the main thrust of the first few visits, it's secondary to the real story of these two old friends sharing their last few visits together. Yet still working very well in it's own right. The advice he gives her is well thought out, logical, but just not obvious enough that you can understand Tia not seeing it given her lack of experience. And I really loved how it threaded together with Luna's fall, and putting a whole new light on what led to the jealousy.
Overall:Great
Crystal Glass Ceilings, by: Pineta
Another story of the kind that very, very rarely is done well. Not just in Pony, but just all around in general. We have us a "Message Story". This is a story that has something it wants to say to you. Some point it wants to be sure you understand. Something it needs to drive into your head with all the subtlety and tact of a falling anvil. These very rarely make good stories, because what it wants to do is not tell a good story. It wants to deliver it's message. So essential aspects of decent story telling get tossed to the curb in favor of ensuring the message is put out there. Characters will stop to have long, unnatural talks where they ramble out random statistics. The forces of the universe will bend to ensure that the worst aspects of whatever the story is against (or best aspects of what it is praising) are shown with little regard for giving a comprehensive look. Everything will be skewed and biased in favor of the message. No matter what ways the narrative needs to be bent to accommodate it. But these are just generalities. Anything could theoretically be done well, even this. Plus, I much prefer to deal with specifics, so in this specific case of this story, is it the rare well done 'Message story?"
Not even close. This comes from two factors. Just the general 'beat you over the head with the point' type delivery of 'the message', and just how poorly the facts needed to support the characters delivering that message fit in the world the story is set in. We have characters going off on tangents about things and spouting statistics. We have the point being beaten on over and over. We have anyone who does not agree with the point being portrayed as clueless idiots that just don't get it. We have outright strawmanning of issues by the end that show such an over the top, yet overly simplistic take on what the story is trying to say that it is impossible to take it seriously, either as a message, but even worse, as a solid, logical, and living story. Everything in the story is to perfectly crafted to not feel forced. To specific and to precise in what it needs to be done to feel anything but rough and unnatural in context. It fails to deliver any kind of engaging narrative whenever it is trying to make it's point. This is made even worse because.... I did actually like quite a few portions of the story. Anytime the characters were not acting as author avatars, or delivering long monologues about just how big a problem this is, They worked very nicely together. Twi, Cadance and Shining Armor were wonderfully in synch, you could feel the closeness and just how well they complimented each other. Even Cadance's direct interactions with those who the message was railing about were quite humerus. Whenever the story was just letting things move along naturally... it actually worked rather well. Plus, I loved just how Cadance was dealing with this in story. Her plan, how she went about it, her attitude. It was all quite amusing and well done. (Highlight for me would be the bit about getting semantical about the meaning of 'set hoof in here') However that all ground to a halt when the story wanted to drive in it's point. Which even then, aside from one long speech that got a bit to preachy, a few random lines... but worst of all the pure strawman of the entire ending portion in the school. It drags down the story. But even then, aside from that, it wasn't that bad and I might have been able to deal with it and still found enough to enjoy. If it were not for the second and bigger issue, just how little this all fit in 'verse.
I'd like to point out that till now I have not even mentioned just what the story's message is. This is not to dismiss it, or trying to discount it. It is because I am hoping to make very clear that my issue is NOT the message in and of itself. I have no issues at all with what the story is trying to say. My issues are in how it's presentation of the message makes it a weaker narrative overall, and how out of place this message is in the setting as presented. So let's talk about that, for which I will have to get into just what said 'message' is. It's all about gender equality and how the Crystal Empire is a backwards place that thinks mares should just stay home, look pretty, and mind the home while letting the stallions do all the real work. Do I even need to point out how ridiculous that idea is anywhere in Equestria? Beyond the simple fact that gender has never been a deciding issue in anything in any major way. Barely anything is ever made about it at all, there has not been one hint of any kind of gender stereotyping, of any sort of situation where gender, either way, means a damn thing for what you can do or how you are treated. You want the perfect example of that? Brotherhooves Social. The Social is presented as a mare's only event going by the name. Yet, we come to find out, it's just a name, and mostly a result of there simply being a higher mare to stallion ratio meaning there majority of siblings that want to enter will be sisters. They flat out say they have zero problem whatsoever with a stallion competing with their sibling. Beyond that is how everypony treated Big Mac while he was pretending to be a mare. Not one pony (aside from that one elderly judge) was fooled. Yeah, the ponies that knew him personally thought it was odd and kind of laughed at or poked a bit of fun at him. But never in any malicious way just a "Dude, you are not fooling anyone" type of way, more poking fun at how not even close to pulling this off he was. They were ribbing their friend for doing something they knew was not going to work. But everypony else? They all knew it was a stallion pretending to be a mare, yet they treated him just like a mare, called him ma'am, nopony called him out on it. Equestria simply does not seem to give a buck at all about 'gender roles'. Trying to force this element into the story... for no reason at all that has anything to do with the setting but rather a whole host of IRL issues. Is the worst kind of insulting to both the setting, the characters, and the entire idea of what it's clear Equestria stands for. And that's not even getting into how if there is any hint of gender meaning a thing, it's in the other direction, we have seen a grand total of three stallions in any position of actual, direct authority over others. One was a sadsitc, brutal evil tyrant. One a town sheriff for a brand new little town in the middle of nowhere, and Shining Armor. Even the founders of Equestria where 5/6 mares. (Per the show staff, Commander Hurricane is canonically a stallion.) Then is how everypony is saying they are just being 'old fashioned' that by it's very wording means this is NOT a unique thing to the Crystal Empire, but that this was the norm back then. Otherwise, it would not be old, but unheard of or something else. I could go into point after point after point on where the plain simple facts as presented in the show do not support this premise being the least bit plausible but you get the idea.
But the worst, the very worst part that just annoys me beyond all else and I really just want to be clear about. Is that this entire plot idea, this whole plan of having Cadance seizing power from stallions who think she simply is not able to handle it, that she has no business being more then a pretty princess to wave and crowds and smile and what not? It could work and actually be done very well with very little changing. This is what annoys me most, not the idea, not what the story was trying to do, but that it went about trying to do it in quite possibly the single, laziest way there is. Simply slapping the IRL issues into place, having the characters be author mouthpieces rattling off facts that do not apply in 'verse, and using simplistic strawmans to try and beat a point into our heads. Instead, all this story needed to do was put in a little bit of thought and effort to change this from slapping IRL issues with a pony skin, and turn it into actual allegory, while making the commentary more subtle and less in your face. Make it something with which those facing this or knowing of this issue can identify, without beating it over everyone heads or twisting the 'verse to fit your points that do not work in 'verse. Above all, do what the show does and what makes it's lessons, it's morals, and it's messages work so well. Aim for applicability more then allegory. It would be quite simple too, just have the underlying, core reason for Cadance needing to take the power the old stallions want to deny her not be because she's a mare, but because she's a Princess. You would need to alter very little aside from the fillibuster bits. Just have the Empire's issue not be sexism, but seeing their Princesses as little more then figureheads. Beloved, cherished, adored by the citizens, but to flighty, vapid, empty headed etc... to be real leaders. Have that be set up in their past, that the original Crystal Royals had been that stereotypical. Make the antagonists views be based just on her title, not her gender, while using that as an allegory for the gender by having most of the reasons they don't think she should have power, be the same reasons for dismissing her for being a mare. You get the same exact punch, same exact message, but delivered in a way the does not feel like it's hammering you over the head with it, and actually makes some sense in the setting, does not outright break so many things about how this setting works to have no hope of ever working as a narrative. Instead, all we get is a blunt object that tries to slam it's point into you while having little to do with Pony beyond the nouns chosen.
Prompt wise... I will admit, this IS a very clever take on the idea, but one that simply put seemingly zero effort into making it fit the setting and was far to in your face about it to work for me.
Overall:Poor
So.. a story that tries to make you feel sorry for the shows most vicious, evil, and outright sadistic villain. What could go wrong?
Not much because damn if this story doesn't do an amazing job at that. (Also because it's so short, simple and to the point, and unlike last time I said this, there really is little more to say.) This story paints a really remarkable, realistic, and just all around well thought out picture of life as a Changeling Queen. The mindset, the complete and utter skewing of morality in ways that simply fit so well and make sense for them. It very effectively helps to paint a picture on how and why Chryssi is like she is.
But also a story that was rather uncomfortable to read. Yet in a good way. You should be uncomfortable with what is going on, it's meant to seem harsh, cruel, immoral, and just plain wrong to us. Yet the story makes it all make perfect sense in character. They do not think like we do, have the same values, and the story does quite well in showing us what those are, helping us understand how they think. Enough that, all the uncomfortableness all the wrongness, it's on the situation, it's on the actions, it's on the characters, never on the story itself. That it did make me rather 'ehhhhhhhh...' and unsettled about it a bit was going to factor into the score in a negative way. Yet, thinking about it, that I felt that way is entirely to the stories credit, that I felt disquieted, yet had no point saw anything actually wrong in the story, anything that did not fit, make sense. That it manged to make me feel the way it wanted without feeling manipulative and simply through showing a well thought out series of events that all make logical sense. It's very much to this stories credit.
Prompt, well if you want royalty who usurps power... yeah Chryssi is certainly one of the first characters that spring to mind. With this story giving a rather interesting take on her rise to power that manages to be both disturbing, yet also, in it's own way.. rather touching.
Overall: Incredible
So... I realize that I keep saying this quite often in my reviews but on the whole I will weight what a story is about far more heavily in my final thought on it's quality over how well it is written. But that does not mean both do not matter, a story that has a rather stupid, upsetting or outright bad premise can be made at least tolerable and somewhat enjoyable by having the character interaction be engaging, fun and work well. Buoying it up a bit. Or a story with a great premise, about something really powerful and deep and unique can fall flat by failing to utilize that potential. Being to simple in descriptions, failing to make the way the story is told engaging enough to truly get sucked in. It's just which will tend to get the most focus and be the biggest deciding point in how I like or dislike it.
But even then, there are exceptions, that is just a general point. This story is in a way one of those exceptions where it is the how it is written that is the main source of how I feel about it, that it is the shear skill of the writing itself, the word choices, the simple complexities in how the facts are presented, the depth of the world shown while actually saying so little, simply the pure raw amount of stuff this story manages to have in it all while barely saying anything that I am so so so freaking in love with. The basic what the story is about is still damn good. It uses the contest prompt to tell a story that is not what it seems. That seems to be another fic exploring one of the alternate timelines from the season 5 finale. Yet is it's own thing. Simply looking over what happened, it's still a good idea and it is quite well handled with a lot of good little twists. But it is how those twists are both set up and delivered, just how much about this world the story makes completely plain without having to say anything but the bare minimum. That is what propel this from a very well done and enjoyable story, straight into "OMFG so gooooooood.... [insert Homer Simpson noises]" for me.
Nearly every line is needed, every sentence perfectly formed for the maximum amount of efficiency. Each one containing far more information that should be possible, just in the word choices, the order, the detail. Right from the first line.
The little ponies love me.
'The' not 'my'. Right away the story pulls us into Luna's way of thinking, sets up right away a split between her and Celestia. It shows the distance between Luna and the ponies. A distance that is further cemented later with how she talks about them and interacts with them. But all set up right from the very first word of the story, and without actually seeming to be doing so. It is simply so natural. I could go on and on about so many lines like that, dissect all the nuances, meaning, depth and information contained in them but I've already rambled on enough for this review post. The story is simply full of things like this and I love it!
Then there is the way it subtly sets up how this is different then we expect, just a small line that if you actually pay attention reveals this is not what we think it is. That only the most elderly of ponies even remember the sun. Meaning she took over decades ago, not the few years this would be if it was due to Twilight failing to stop her in the premier OR a case of her having prevailed the first time a thousand years ago. That this whole world followed a much different path. The tiny differences add up over time, building in little ways till it all just comes together and you realize what is going on.
Then of course you have Luna. Some might quibble about her and NMM just being a semantic issue, they should be one in the same. No they are not. Now yes I do feel that Nightmare Moon needs to be a part of Luna, not just some evil shadow force that took over. But there is room for various ways that could work. The key part is that even if they are one in the same and NMM is nothing but an aspect of Luna, there is still a massive difference between the two. NMM is a being of anger, jealousy, rage. Passionate, emotional. It is all of Luna's darkest aspects and hidden desires brought to the front. As such she would be more mercurial. Luna, as we see here, is colder, more logical. Just look at Twi trying to escape. Her plan works agsint NMM, who is caught by surprise and can't react in time. Not so for Luna, who quickly and calmly blocks her.
That is not even getting into the whole morality issue. into how this isn't Luna just 'being evil' but seeming to truly believes she is helping the ponies. Making them stronger. It serves as a nice complement to the view of Changelings in Motherly and is much the same. Or the whole discussion this could bring in about regarding how idealistic and happy and forgiving and just 'pony' ponies are, compared to how they could be this seemingly cruel, callous and bloodthirsty. Which I have so much to say on and how it works. Or just who this Twilight was and what she was doing. (It doesn't quite feel right to be Alicorn Mysteries Twilight during her time checking out the multiverse) But, the simple fact that this review is getting to be nearly as long as the story itself and I have barely scratch the surface of the shear amount of details, set up, points, and just all around depth this story contains to talk about should show better then anything just how damn GOOD this writing is. Being able to say so much as quickly, efficiently, and simply as possible. All while being a great story in and of itself. Oh... ohhh yes... this is how you tell a story.....
Prompt-A rather unique and unexpected take on the most classic tale of an attempt seizing of power by a Princess that plays with expectations quite well and sets up for some potential amazing stuff I'd love to see. (At least after iisaw gets done with book seven of the Alicorn Mysteries Trilogy.)
Overall:Exemplary
So that's the Usurper category done with. On the whole.. thing I enjoyed more stories in the Warrior category a bit more, but still some really solid entries in this one. In this section the pick for 'best story' is pretty obvious and actually does follow the rating. iisaw's Waxing Gibbous winning hooves down just for not only being a damn good story, but also so well written in the best way and also an amazingly interesting and intrigue take on a very often repeated plot line in MLP. Honorable mentions going to Motherly for having a really well done case of blue and orange morality at play and making it work, and Orderly Transfer for being just plain hilarious while still working quite well as more then just jokes.
Next up "Survivors" princess who lived through.. loss.. tragedy.. or other hardships.... oh this one is going to be some kicks in the feels.. isn't it?
Well, let's at least close this one out on an epic note. Since we ended on a Luna bit, why not one of the most epicly metal tributes to the most famous case of a Princess trying to usurp power?
For the love of Celestia, proofread these blogposts.
So many instances of misspellings or using "to" instead of "too"... It just really grinds my gears.
Annoyances on writing mechanics aside, I too disliked An Apple a Day Keeps Autocracy Away, but for different reasons. I don't feel like this really counts as an accusation fic, mainly because I saw this Celestia not as an incarnation of the canon Celestia, but as a hopelessly outdated immortal who has been stagnating for at least a millennium and happens to be named Celestia. I don't know if there was an AU tag, but there really ought to have been one. I disliked this fic because watching this sort of character, one who refuses to listen or learn, is both extremely frustrating to me and nauseatingly familiar. I've known people like this.
As for An Orderly Transfer of Power, while I did give it a like and a fave for the meat of the story, I had significant problems with the endings of both the main fic and the appendix.
CelestiaTrollestia did not deserve those wins after the crap she pulled. The appendix fixed that aspect of the first ending... until it doubled down on the "Trollestia wins!" at its own end. Apart from its endings, though, I really enjoyed this story. Watching Twilight go a little bit crazy while still being competent, and having people gauge her usefulness and weighing it against just how loose her screws currently were buckets of fun. Like I said, it did still earn a like and a fave from me.Thanks for doing these reviews. I may not agree with you all the time, but reading these is still fun.
Thank you for the splendid review!
4487692 That is after proofreading.. you do not want to know how many of those I fix and just, some fall through the cracks. I simply suck that damn much at typing/spelling. Also yeah, the to/too thing... can we just make them the same damn word already?
But yes, I'll try to do better.
As to the fics, I can see it with Apple, It didn't really come off like a story trying to be an accusation fic, but it still felt like it was shitting all over just as much as one would. The whole refusing to learn aspect is a key part of why this was just so frustratingly stupid rather then lightheartedly funny like it was trying to be. Just... blech all around
Second one, I can also see that issue. I was fine with Celestia getting away with it just because of how damn GOOD she was at it, just how perfectly she played everyone. I didn't see it as rewarding her trolling, but rewarding her shear competence and skill. Plus she wasn't really trolling TO much, mostly just the pushing Twilight with more and more inane tasks. Though if Twilight had simply learned to say no it also would have gone better. She was doing this to teach Twilight a lesson as well as score some vacation days. Which added to be enjoying it. The addendum, yeah that was just her trolling for the sake of "Haha screw you I'm getting mine" and no lessons or anything to it, just her own selfishness. And like I said, bit to far.
4487835 Very welcome.... oh right, still need to tackle this weeks Skyla chapter!
Thanks for the review!
I chose to end the epilog of Orderly Transfer as I did because Celestia being defeated in a trolling contest is anticlimax, but Celestia finding a victory condition in defeat is funny (if cruel).
And let's face it: Trollestia has a millenium and more experience over Twilight Sparkle in a troll war.
4488022 That does make sense, and it was still hilarious. But like I said, just took the trolling and absurdity that one step to far for me. Still an all around hilarious story.
And I'm sure that fourth challenge that wasn't rescinded was Blueblood, so few less worries for Twi there at least.
Not "Schemers"?
4488246 Wait... what... when did they swap places? I could have sworn Survivors was first.
4488261
I'm pretty sure we had previously agreed my story wouldn't appear until the fifth set.
4488266 Huh.... odd. Guess I skipped one when grabbing the fics somehow. Guess it is Schemers next.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad to see that the characters seemed to work for you, and I totally understand your thoughts about the story arc not feeling quite satisfying.
Good luck with the rest of the lot!
4489337 You're welcome and thank you for the story. It was a great idea, and was fun to read. Just needed a bit more fleshing out to really tap into the clear potential it had but didn't use.
And thanks.. going to need it with one of these next ones.....