Review #83 - Avocation, π · 3:54am Apr 7th, 2017
Well, now for stories #3-4. In case you somehow missed it, #1-2 are reviewed HERE. Yeah, I was mistaken when I said #3, 4, and 5 would be done today. This is due to me misremembering the size of Pandelirium.
And so, a promotion... um, I got nothing... seriously guys, this last week there has been very little activity on your part. Let's see, in all of my feed, I have:
*Season 7 Bingo Generator - It has 55 different tiles, but only 24, plus a free space, are on a card. Use this if you wanna play some Season 7 Bingo with your friends... assuming you have some.
Yeah, that's about it. Well, except for that survey of my reviews I'm running.
Avocation by Kwakerjak
π by Kwakerjak
Keep in mind, everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. You may not agree with my analysis, and that's fine. Just don't always take my word for it without thinking.
Avocation by Kwakerjak
(Alternate Universe, Comedy, Slice of Life)
Penumbra seeks gainful employment. Hilarity ensues.
Review
This one is a comedy fic. Oddly, one that is pretty much a transition between Inscape and π. It also has some odd tonal shifts. The first two stories of this series are in the third-person, while this one is first-person one-way letters. And then it goes back to third-person in the sequel. And, actually, the letter-format makes the fic rather telly, but it totally works... most of the time. So, Penumbra. Penumbra is out of place in the current society and must go through several disasters to learn how to not offend ponies. Sadly, because of the format, these trials are only explained instead of shown. While I get the point of this story is to add characterization to Penumbra and some comic relief (Which is does a great job of), it does leave me wanting more. Mainly, Luna's letters and some of the more slice of life interactions between Pinkie and Penumbra. However, even without them, it's a pretty good fic. One random complaint of mine is how Thunderlane is done, I believe he is less... extreme than he is here.
The greatest weakness then would be how rushed it feels. It does a great job of doing what it set out to do, but everything else was only mentioned briefly, if not cut out completely.
Recommendation: Worth Reading as a story, Needed if you plan to read the series. (Worth Reading because of weakness, and Needed because of very important Penumbra characterization).
π by Kwakerjak
(Alternate Universe, Slice of Life)
Life in Ponyville has been relatively quiet recently, which is somewhat surprising, given that the town's librarian tried to usurp the Equestrian throne only a few months ago. Aside from the appearance of a grumpy pegasus who set up shop as a cloudsmith, the aftermath is so unnoticeable that most ponies aren't even aware that the incident happened at all. Unfortunately, all that's about to change, thanks to the return of a certain revenge-obsessed showmare....
Review
This one is... sigh... let's put it right in front, I was disappointed when I read this one. It's Magic Duel but with a slightly different storyline. Penumbra, using her wit, reasoning, and plot device powers, gets to make Twilight see that what's holding her back is ridiculous. Other than that, she doesn't do much other than converse with Pinkie, who also gets to use her plot device powers, but this time to make Penumbra a plot device. Twilight is, with as few spoilers as possible, regretful and feeling unworthy of her abilities. These, of course, require the help of Penumbra to overcome. And Trixie, who I almost forgot about. She is more like the Season 6 Trixie, but insane... very insane. I know I'm doing a horrible job with these characters, but the things listed are most of their personalities. Anyway, this one's strength is in its character interactions, and though they are often filler, they are done well. Good job on improvement, author. Some other things I liked were how Twilight beat Trixie, how Zecora's speech pattern is explained, and how well it introduces the sequel. In fact, let's go over that final scene. Celestia, here, is a little too accepting. I like to see Celestia as prepared for any and all possible events, even herself going all "Solaria" on the populace. So that she trusts Penumbra so completely comes off as odd to me.
And to conclude this review, the greatest weakness then is that it's a repeat of Magic Duel, and really doesn't deviate from the plot much. Sure there's some, but not enough. The second greatest weakness is how easily the major plot points fall together, really, they spend more time on Trixie's craziness than Celestia and Penumbra becoming friends. Other than these two, there isn't much. I mean, sure there's the standard mistakes of word choice and punctuation issues, but they are not so great as to be worth going over.
Recommendation: Intermediate for the story, Worth Reading for readers of the series. (See the weakness).
