Can I Get Some Honest Feedback? · 8:31pm Mar 18th, 2017
Hi everyone.
To all my regular readers, I wondered if I could ask a little more specific feedback.
My last chapter was one of my longest and one that rather escalated things with the Mane 6 now personally facing some of the villains and more villains going after the secondary characters. But I haven't got much summary as the other chapters yet.
I might just be impatient but I'm kind of worried I'm going overboard or whether I'm making the Mane 6 look too unprepared for this.
I'd like to get some feedback on my last chapter if any of you have some free time to talk about it.
You've been very helpful so far and, at this point, that help will be very useful.
If you could say anywhere I'm going wrong or even in danger of going wrong, that would be great.
Hope you can help. 
I can't see anything wrong, you do a great job!
4461691 Thanks, that means a lot, but are you sure there isn't anything?
Any advice would be appreciated. What particular plot points or characters would you like more focus on in the next chapters?
4461697 Hmm...to be honest, your work is so well made from my view that I really can't see anything wrong. I really like how you display Dinky, can't get enough of how you desplay here. Sounds silly, but while playing Sniper elite, This came into my mind: Dinky meets Fletcher Fray. Don't know why, just popped in for some reason
4461716 Sounds good, I'll enjoy reading it. Glad I made an impression.
But honestly, with how it's going, what would you feel the story would benefit from?
More or less characters? What particular focus? I've set up several directions and I'm stuck deciding which comes first. That's my problem.
4461717 Welcome to the club, that's excactly the problem I have most of the time when writing, coming up with dialoge and details, So I can't help, sorry. About Fletcher and Dinky, I actually meant in your story, I can imagine he promises her to get her home safe and sound, protecting her from all harm.
4461732 Ah well, the thing is Fletcher is part of Luna's secret organisation, largely secretive.
He'll show up here and there along with White Wolf and Midnight Blade but I'm trying to build up the canon characters at the moment. I'm in danger of shoehorning in a bunch of ponies before proper development. I need to avoid that.
Besides, when Dinky does get in a scrape, considering the time and effort Cascadius puts into his traps, it'll largely be up to her to find a way out.
With some amount of help from the CMC, Tootsie and Pipsqueak.
The foals finding ways to get out of danger be a pivotal point. It's more impressive that way.
'They grow up so fast!'
4461740 Well, as Dinky has probably Inherited some her father's skills and such, it woudn't surprise me. In "The end has begun" She makes the CMC hope in one chapter dispite being scared as much as them.
I would say that Fluttershy overcomes her fear but for the others, I have no clue
It looks good to me. The Mane 6 being as prepared/unprepared as they are makes sense, as they aren't used to dealing with threats of Cascadius' nature, and this has been very carefully set up by the villains. My only criticism recently is that things have been seeming to drag a bit, with very little actually propelling the plot, just lots of setting up, but as things are gearing up again, that's changing.