Old and new language · 4:45pm Mar 6th, 2017
I just published a minor update to the story. I was lucky enough to get some feedback from somebody who actually knows Old English. She didn't just correct my grammar, she actually helped me craft poetry in a register fitting to the time period. I'm aware that approximately 0 readers will know the difference for those three lines, but it feels better knowing it's right.
Perfectionist, moi?
Anyway, if you're curious to see what changed, the original and revised versions of that passage are after the break.
ORIGINAL VERSION
Gúðcwéne ſunnan ond mónan úpflugon þéáh þá nihch.
“Guth… guthh-queenie… guthqueyne… sunnan ond monnan up-floogon… theiya the night.” He paused, squinting at the words. “The queen of… sun and moon… flew up… through the night.”
Heo ſáwon þone ærmorgen, ond ſe dwæs ſeah hie.
“Heyyo saawon… thonne air-morgan… ear-morgan… ond se dwayis sayya hiyer. They saw the dawn… and the… fool… saw them.”
Þá brega dwolman ſæt uppan his gumſtóles, cancetende.
“Tha bray-ga…dwol-man sat… upan his gums… stowles… canker… tenday. Cankettendey. The king of… chaos… sat upon his throne… laughing.”
ADJUSTED VERSION
Sunnan ond mónan þeodcwéne ſwearcunge þurhflon.
“Sunnan ond monnan theod-queenie… theodqueyne… swayyar-kung… guh… thurflon.” He paused, squinting at the words. “The queen of… sun and moon… flew through… the darkness.
Þa heo dægriman ſawon, þa hie ſe dyſig ſeah.
“Tha heyyo dayg… daggri-man… sawon, tha hier se… dissig… sayya. They saw the dawn… and the… fool… saw them.”
Dwolman hearra ſæt uppan héahſetle his, cancetende.
“Dwolmna heyyarra… sat upan… heyya-settler his… canker… tenday. Cankettendey. The king… Or… The lord of… chaos… sat upon his throne… laughing.”
For those struggling to pronounce this, a couple of notes:
The letter þ or "thorn" represents a hard TH sound, as in the word "thing".
The letter ð or "ath" represents a soft TH sound, as in the word "with".
The letter æ simply represents an A sound, as in the word "sat". This is in contrast the letter a, which can represent a variety of sounds in words like "date", "march" or "aid".
The letter ſ is simply an elongated S, and nothing to do with F. It should not be used for capital letters, at the end of a word, or as the second of a double S (so for example, "assets" would be "aſsets", because neither the second nor third S can be written elongated). It looks much better in italics.
While as you pointed out I would have no idea that one of these was well crafted, I salute you for making this change. Little details like this are a joy to find in a story when you happen to be someone who can appreciate the accuracy.
This effort, though it will go unnoticed, does not go unappreciated.
Thank you for the blog post. Inspired by your story, I've decided to give Celestia some lines in Old English, and this is positively enlightening
Now just to dig through all these dictionaries, grammatic rules, and whatnot 😅
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Good luck!
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Aaand finally, after a month, I did exactly so
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/531175/10/the-queen-of-the-dark-ch-i/celestias-lament
Left a reference to your work, naturally
Let me know if I should remove it