Know Your Mare: A Look Back. · 6:09pm Jan 1st, 2017
Three-thousand likes. That's a lot of people, honestly. I don't really remember the exact day KYM was created, but I know it was in the early 2014's, and it was on a different site. I came to FiMfiction with four stories in my portfolio: Elements of the Past, Former Etiquette (which I only learned today was spelled wrong for over three years), Scratch the Octave, and -of course- Know Your Mare.
Two of them met with lukewarm responses, as is to be expected for a newbie fresh onto the site. But, the other two were success by the standard of starting out. Out of those two, however, one would rise above the rest like a phoenix. A phoenix with broken wings, molting feathers, and a mangled beak. Yet, to some, it was glorious.
First and foremost, I would just to say that I am grateful for all I've been able to do in no small part thanks to KYM. It was a runaway success with its own animated series. It truly put my foot in the door; and I'd never attribute that to another one of my stories before it. However, over the years, those of you who have followed me closely will know my feelings towards KYM. And if you don't, I'll say it one more time here, for the last time.
I don't like Know Your Mare. I never really liked it at all. KYM served one primary purpose since I first created it: filler time. It takes an hour to days to write a chapter to a story. Planning, editing, checking it over, running it by someone, submitting it at the right time to maximize viewership, motivation; these things take up time and a lot of effort that burns me out from time to time.
But KYM?
A typical chapter of KYM takes ten minutes to write. The jokes write themselves most of the time. All I have to do is make sure Pip's lines are underlined, Chrysalis' lines are italicized, Discord's are bold, and Sunset's are red. Other then that? Just make sure everyone has at least one line and keep that line in-line with their shtick. Discord is random and more to the core of the original series, Chrysalis is harsh or dirty, Pipsqueak is just silly or poking at someone like a child, and Sunset is more cynical or the like. That's all it takes.
Because of all of that, KYM is great to fill in moments of quiet or keeping up on current events. At several points I would want to end the series, but it was never grand enough of a finish for so many people reading. At least not in my eyes. And each time I would conclude the series, My Little Pony would carry on for another season. So what would happen? More characters, new plot points, extra characterization; it would march on and KYM would be behind the times. Thus, KYM kept growing and adding onto itself.
Some would say KYM is a shell of its former self; but I strongly disagree. I may not like KYM, but its the same as its always been. Filthy memes, silly jokes, different takes on characters, and just random. The ink on it has changed, but it's the same as it ever was.
Now, I'm sure you're wondering: "He's talking a lot of crap about his biggest story. Does he have any good memories of it?"
The answer to that is I do. I still have a great love for KYM, if only because it helped me get where I am. And, over the years, I have written some bits to it I have truly enjoyed.
The biggest takeaway from KYM I have is the KYM-verse. A universe where Discord and Chrysalis parent Pipsqueak and Sunset Shimmer. It's a universe I can always turn to when I think "this doesn't fit in the canon, and it doesn't fit into my theory world... Time to make it silly!". After all, out of that universe came the smash hits "They Grow Up..." (which will be returning sometime very soon after this) and "The Birds and the Changelings" (which will have a sequel sometime soon as well). Both are stories I love dearly. One of which is in my top five stories I've written. If nothing else, the fact I created my own stupid universe where anything can and would happen because of KYM makes me happy I wrote it at all.
However, that's not to say there weren't other points of KYM's long history I didn't enjoy. Right here, I'll show you five of my favorite jokes in KYM's history:
#1
The Meek and Powerless Trixie…
"What did you call me?"
…she robs tip jars…
"Once! I took it once! The service was far from befitting my magnificent presence. They owed me that tip for the poor service!"
Now you know…
…Trixie…
"They don't! They think I'm a poor beggar with ratty hair because of you!"
Dial the number below and help this mare get off the streets… and off Twilight Sparkle's lawn…
#2
The entirety of "EXTRA: Discord" and "Maud Pie" for the same reason. Puns are the best.
#3
We would...
Queen Chrysalis...
...We...
"No... please..."
...love you...
"AH!"
You can say or do whatever you want...
...but that's it Queeny...
We will always love you...
"Silence yourselves!"
Awww...
...look at her...
...she's panicking...
You know what that means...
"What?" suddenly, the spotlight shut off for a brief moment before the entire room was lit up, making the queen's eyes shrink with fear. "No... No..."
"Yes..." Before Chrysalis could react, she felt two unmatched arms loop around her and pull her into a hug while her front legs were brought into a smaller one.
Both Pipsqueak and Discord gave a heart filled laugh as they embraced the Changeling queen. "We love you so much Queeny."
"NOOOOOOOOO! Kill me! Throw me in a dungeon! Please! Make it stop!"
"She's so 'appy, she's cryin'!"
#4
Know Your Mare.
A Report by Pipsqueak.
Signed of by Earl of Pudding and Admiral Trade-wind.
#5
What now?
You're segregating ponies by dignifying each celebration in a different order! Now the ponies who celebrate Kwanzaa might be offended.
No one celebrates--! Ugh. Happy Holidays! There. How's that? Neutral enough?
Nooooo! What is somebody doesn't celebrate holidays?
Fine! Then Merry Shut The F--!
BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!
When it's all said and done, KYM was a trip. And, more than likely, it'll keep being a trip for quite awhile even after the true ending with Know Your Mare: The Movie.
The point of this whole post is to share with you all the adventure we've had. To share my thoughts. But Know Your Mare isn't an island and neither am I. So please, share with me your thoughts on KYM as a whole. What it means to you, your favorite moments, even just saying you read it. It doesn't matter. It's because of you it's here, and it's because of you it got this far.
So thank you. I hope to see you all soon, and I hope to see you all often.
...gonna reread it.
4365106 I hear that may take awhile.
4365572 I can confirm that. 4365106 Prepare for around 10 hours of rereading!
4365618 I just binge read the entire story for the first, time, fin ished today, and started last Friday I think (just like I do with any other fix I find).
KYM has been one of my favorite short-form stories since I first found it some untold years back, and it's continued to light up my dark days a hundred words at a time, despite 'ending' more than once. Keep on keeping on, Flynx.
I too really loved the KYMverse. I thought it was full of fun, new ideas and of interesting concepts for character I now love in no small part because of you :) I can't wait to see the endding and maybe after the dust has settled I will reread it from the start, thanks a lot.