Yep, it's comin' down. · 3:20pm Dec 18th, 2016
I currently lack faith in the quality of Aim for the Stars, and I'm continuing to bleed followers while it stays published. I'm taking it down to avoid inflicting it on anypony else.
Again, it isn't the rating that's the problem (see Recycled for a story with a bad rating that I remain proud of). The problem is the story itself, and my inability to properly edit it in my current frame of mind.
The whirlwind that launched a thousand $#!T$.
For now, it will remain on Fimfiction, but it will be unpublished. You should still be able to access it through my blog links.
I'll decide what to do with it after I'm done with my grading binge, so the story and its comments will remain up at least through Tuesday noon GMT. This way I can stop worrying about it when I should be working.
As with my other stories, even if I delete it, I'll post a link to the original version in my initial blog post. The comments might disappear after Monday, but the story will always be accessible.
It is less wish fulfill-y than many stories, but I thought it had something interesting to say.
It's okay to seek out help with editing. Myself I have a trusted person look my work over and I use things like Grammarly.com another rule is let a story sit for a couple of hours at least and go through it like you did not write it. Don't be discouraged over this story, Even the Fausticorn herself had a dund. No one is prefect, but know this more people enjoy your work and want you to improve then dislike your work, Even with this story.
In a previous post to a previous blog, I liken this to someone use to earning in the 90% earning a lower 80%. You are a good writer, and if you reach out for help, you can become great.
Feel free to pm, my inbox is always opened.
I had to take s story down-
But mine was awful- just awful!
Leave it up.
Seriously, people who defollow because of one story are probably assholes anyway. But then, I'm not remotely afraid of calling people on their bullshit opinions. And, of course, some other people get really funny about that. They say an author shouldn't disrespect the opinions of his readers, but I don't give a crap. People can dislike whatever they want, but I do not abide making absolute claims on subjective topics – that's the kind of asshole who unfollows.
So... you are going to remove a story from public listing because it has a 3 like to 1 dislike ratio? that seems somewhat iffy. The only things that get like ratios of 10 to 1 are either comedies, long form adventure or clop. Putting a dark tag on something means unless it is something hitting one of the other tags(apart from clop
) that it is probably going to be limited to maybe 5 to 1 at max.
That said, maybe the dislikes are less for the quality and more for the content? A fic of Twily unintentionally manipulating the foals as part of Celly's perfect world is awfully dark. Like REALLY dark. Like mass mind control dark. On top of that, it might hit pretty close to home for some people who's only outlet is that red thumb button.
Personally, I loved it, and I know many other people probably loved it, and many more people would love it. Removing it from public listing is nothing more than removing it from the ability for those who WOULD love it to find it.
I'd say you're bleeding followers from cancelling stories, but maybe it's just me. - as a reader I hate when it happens.
I'll read it later today and see for myself what all the fuss is about. But uh... I'm sticking to my guns about the follower loss. Nothing. Of. Value.
4344858 I'd agree a bit here - be wary of a correlation/causation thing going on. It's entirely possible there are other reasons at play here.
4344858 Or because she's 'complaining' about it? I've unfollowed people for that.
4345215
Everything I do will make it worse!
I don't care about the follows. I just see it as an indication of readers really not liking the story, which means it's pretty flawed in ways I wasn't able to see while I was writing it.
I probably shouldn't have mentioned the follow thing. I'm taking it down b/c I don't like it and I'm not in the right frame of mind to evaluate it properly—so I'm using feedback from readers to help me decide.
Most important thing is that you catch your breath and get some rest during your break from writing. :3
4345493 Fair enough. And that's why I'm giving you feedback as well.
Ok, read it. Time for review.
If anything, this story was worth it just for this fucking line alone.
The test examiners were unrealistically asshole-ish for, you know, school teachers, and the point could've been made by them with a sweeter tone (that one would take with a small child) and still had Starlight crying at the end... but really, this is an entirely minor problem with that section, let alone the story as a whole. And actually, it could be argued that this is how Starlight perceived the conversation, and that that is to further the message that the real world is harsh. So... maybe not a problem.
The Big Mac and Granny Smith scene was... less than ideal. Granny was a might harsh on the young colt (and suggesting he was interested in ballet is... odd, but not unrealistic) but really, the scene worked. It again furthered the message that life sucks.
I'll be honest, I wasn't getting the moral of the story until Cheerilee showed up. Until then, the story seemed to be a collection of snippets that all worked well to tell a simple 'slice' of life for each of the characters individually, but it felt jarring because I didn't know what was going on. NOT because the story is told in snippets. On the contrary, I happen to like that style, tried it a couple of times myself. But anyway, like many good stories, it wasn't tied together until the very end. And then it made sense. The moral of the story is, to quote Dashie, "Aim high kid, but don't shoot for the impossible," or how-the-fuck-ever she said it.
Actually, I really liked the Cheerilee part. Because, as adults, we know that not every kid grows up to be the president, or an astronaut. But we tell this to children to let them live their childhood in childish wonder, and not to crush their little dreams. They usually grow out of those anyway, once they realize how cruel the world really is. The idea that Cheerilee doesn't necessarily want to completely give her students that message makes perfect sense. She's been seen in the show to be very sweet, but very intelligent as well, not to mention she clearly has a measured, restricted behavior with the children. I'd assume, and your story reinforces this, that Cheerilee would tell her students that they could do just about anything if they dedicated themselves to it, but not something outlandish, like they could become princesses. Twilight went too far by saying that, see, Cheerilee is made uncomfortable because her impressionable young students need a careful and measured idea about life, a positive one, but not one filled with unrealistic, stupid, open-mouthed-drooling wonder.
Apparently, the biggest 'problem' that your readers are bitching about is simply that this is too dark to be set in sunshine-and-rainbows Equestria. I dunno, maybe all of your readers are slice-of-life type people, which is fine. Personally, I see Equestria as much like our world, it has its good and its bads (and then it has monsters, too). And if you wanna talk about canonical dark-ness... the first fucking episode had a villain that literally sought to have the ENTIRE planet deprived of life-giving sunlight for eternity (eternal night = eternal winter = everything DEAD). Another episode had - essentially - a demon escape from the depths of HELL to steal the life force of the living and wreak havoc on the land. That's not to mention the shapeshifting succubi, the god of chaos, a demon king who literally enslaves his people, oh, but Celestia forbid! There's a dark-tagged fanfic that has a minor scene in which a filly gets a belt-thrashing from her father! Oh no, that's just too damn dark. Fucking retarded logic there. I swear to god, you better not be removing this story because of the readers who made the 'it's too dark' argument.
Though to be fair, in MY opinion, the dark tag is absolutely not needed. It's hardly a Cupcakes or a Rainbow Factory. But I can clearly see why you added it! Because people are literally bitching that it's too dark!
Overall, it's actually a good, sad, slice of life fic. Maybe a line or two needs some polishing but... it was an enjoyable read, short and sweet (that's an expression, it wasn't actually sweet [it had a lot for a little bit of words]), a little sad, it presented a message, and hammered it home. Way better than your last fic, which was a bit rough (sorry to say), and this one... is not.
So I don't really see what the fuss is about. Readers bitching about things that don't actually pertain to the quality of the story, merely their own tastes in stories. Now more than ever, I'm saying that if someone unfollowed you because of this story... nothing of value was lost, I assure you.
I actually kinda like Aim For the Stars... But, I guess that it would get a Not Recommended in my reviews.
Life may suck even if we try, but I think it will suck even more if we don't try. So let's keep trying.