Story Notes: Twilight Learns about Courtship · 1:40am Oct 31st, 2016
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I'm not sure if my pre-readers want any credit for this abomination—if they do, I'll add in a note.
In case you're wondering why this, and why now, it's because it's special. It's story number 99.
The story in question has been mostly written for at least a year, if not longer. There were originally three planned stories in the compilation, but two of them got overly graphic and moved to my alt account as standalones.
This one, though, it was just waiting to be story #99.
Incidentally, this story in and of itself could probably squeak by with just a teen rating. But given the potential nature of the collection, I thought it wisest to go with a more restrictive rating.
Not a whole lot I can give you in the story notes; once again, FimFiction's rules prevent me from going into too much detail, but here's a quick summary:
Romance novels, to my knowledge, have strange, convoluted ways of shipping characters. Having not ever actually read one, it's possible that I'm wrong. We'll chalk that up to a research failure on my part.
Applejack's method of attracting a stallion is accurate for horses. Could even work for equines. And I'll be perfectly honest, I would be willing to read a HiE where that is the method that the ponies use, because it would be hilarious.
Celestia help me, if no one's written it yet I just might have to.
Pinkie Pie's relationships are . . . well, does anyone really want to know? They're either plain-vanilla, perfectly ordinary . . .
. . . or she doesn't just sneeze confetti.
(Do yourself a favor and don't think about that too much. Certainly don't look for it on Derpibooru.)
Y'all know damn well Rainbow would make a race out of it.
And Fluttershy. . . .
Interesting to see Applejack dressed up as the worst protagonist in the Assassin's Creed games.
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There's probably a reason for that.
I was actually looking for something completely different, but I started giggling as soon as I saw this picture, and well. . . .
Pinkie excretes confetti as a waste product. I thought everyone knew that.
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Can I post a picture of Pinkie farting confetti on a blog?
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... Huh. I'm genuinely not sure. I say err on the side of caution.
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That's why it's not in the blog. Just to be safe.
Fluttershy - you know she's the kinkiest of all the six, yes even more than Rara.
You have an alt account?
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Ssh, it's a secret. Nobody knows.
A comment I made on Estee's Anchor Foal. It seems appropriate here...
If you were to pose it as a competition, where the winner was the one who gave the first/most orgasams (rather than received) they might stand a chance of something wonderful. All bets are off if Rainbow winds up with a stallion...
"I had to stop after the screaming started. Or, at least after he got louder. Who knew that you could fracture a penis? So I wound up taking him to the hospital. Eventually. The way he was blubbering totally killed the mood for me as I was trying to finish myself off. Stallions are just so fragile."
On only a tangentially related note seeing this and then the story reminded me of something from awhile ago you might get a laugh out of. I was in the store looking at wine when I almost broke my neck pulling a double take at a few bottles I passed. The vintage of the wine in question was Los Clop. Being from this fandom I think I stood there bug eyes for about a minute then had to keep suppressing giggles for some time after.
I can remember a pair (trio?) of stories where that kind of thing happened. They were snuff clopfics where the human was dating Rarity, and Sweetie wanted to edge in on that fine monkey lovin'. The human is lured over to the boutique by Sweetie and then drugged(?). The two stories I'm sure of tell what happens with either Rarity coming back and finding Sweetie "claiming" the human, or Rarity coming back sooner, and "claiming" the human herself. Either way, Sweetie and Rarity present like AJ did.
(The possible third fic was, if I recall correctly, a little follow up on the Rarity-wins version.)
But...! On a better note, I too would love to see a story where that kind of dynamic is a thing.
"Bob! Did you see that?!"
"Yeah, Twilight, I did."
"Do you know what it means?!"
"Do I know why Lily keeps peeing somewhere between twenty and fifty feet ahead of me and then scampering off? No, I have no friggin' clue why she's been doing that for the last two weeks! It's really weirding me out here, and everyone just giggles or shakes their head when I ask!"
"You really don't know?"
"NO!"
"She wants to doooooooo you!"
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She just keeps really, really quiet about it. So nobody knows.
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I think it's a good philosophy in life to never turn sex into a competition, because that can only end badly.
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There's also this:
g.christianbook.com/dg/product/cbd/f400/430690.jpg
And perhaps for Christmas this year I'll think of some way to use it.
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One plot hook I've been tossing around for a while is called "The Man who Smelled like a Mare," with your average hetero poor bastard in Equestria, having every stallion in town hitting on him and also Rainbow Dash but she flies off when she finds out he has a penis.
Which is why the Apple family is huge and can occasionally be stumbled across on accident and finding family members of the rest of the six is a huge struggle.
I'm also reminded of Tables Have Turned by JoeShogun in which my favorite moment was Fluttershy explaining that she's pretty much always known about sex because she can understand animals and that's all animals talk about. Then she uses her knowledge of body language to totally give Rainbow Dash a metaphorical smackdown and leaves the bar with a mare on each wing.
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g.christianbook.com/dg/product/cbd/f400/430690.jpg
Good Lord, how I wish that were a ringtone.
My Christmas is complete.
Surely Fluttershy had caught on to Dash's plan and was trolling both her and Twilight.
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Or else it's true that it's always the quiet ones.
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You refer to https://derpibooru.org/4288 ?
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