My Little Fallout: Far Harbor, Week 3 · 4:22am Jul 26th, 2016
Hey, wait a second! You're not Fallout! You're not Fallout at all!
Curse you, 80 Days! You seduced me away from the rightousness that is Fallout and tricked me into writing nine chapters of MLP fanfic about you! Now all I can think of is shockingly peroid renditions of late 19th century Europe. I rue the day I encountered your elegantly written minimalist narrative!
Phew. Okay. Let's clear the air in here a bit.
Yeah! That's better. Okay, Fallout time.
Week 3: Writing Style (Or, "The Secret Inner Life of Applejack")
We're closing in on the home stretch for actually writing this thing (scintillating, I know!), but the devil's in the details, so this week was mostly fiddling with the specifics of the narration style. This is always critical, since it sets a lot of the tone for the story, but it's twice as important when you have a first person narrator. I may want to wax poetic for paragraphs and paragraphs about the tragedy of the Great War or how the twisted beams of that melted building are representative of the folly of the old world, but I need to keep in mind that I'm not talking to the reader.
You know who is talking to the reader? Applejack. Which means the real question I need to ask is, "How much does Applejack's inner voice sound like her outer voice?"
Does she have a secret inner life? Is she the pony who, as in the show, "cries on the inside?"
Little bit?
The answer is, of course, yes. But how much and how it's shown matters a lot to the details of the narrative. The reader will feel very differently about Applejack if she talks like this:
Never did understand half of Granny's stories about the old world. I get it, like: things used to be better then. Stuff that's hard to come by now was common as dirt. But I don't get it. I don't get just hopping on a train and suddenly being a hundred miles away, when earth knows that's a good week of walking. I can get the concept, chart it out, even talk about the fancy tech stuff when I'm so inclined. But I just can't picture it. Life don't work that way no more.
Vs this:
I spent hours when I was little, listening to Granny's stories and staring up at that map. She'd talk about it all: Celestia and Equestria the thousand towns, and the great rail that connected them all. She'd tell me about Cloudsdale, the city were ponies were born with wings, and how she'd just hop on the train to visit for an afternoon, and wave at them as they flew past. And I always tried to picture it, or draw or something. Try to get it in my head. But she'd just laugh and ruffle my mane and say I was sweet in that way that means I didn't quite get it.
It's hard to picture. Life don't work that way no more.
It's a small detail, but it matters, so there's a lot of experimentation that goes into this step.
Drafting starts this weekend!
I've not played or read much of 80 Days and am away from my regular computer at present, but more writing from you seems unlikely to be unwelcome. :)
And a short update on the Fallout story, but a good one. Though I note that you've not revealed yet what inner voice you decided on. :)
4113359
Yeah, I have been writing a lot of 80 days this week. It's been a fun and relaxing exercise and while it will probably take me another week to finish the story I'm on, I think it will be an excellent addition to the collection. With 18 chapters in total, it will update bi-weekly for some time.
As for Applejack's voice, much closer to the second one than the first. I really like the idea that the time before the bombs dropped has taken on a somewhat mystical quality, as the age of Plenty and wonder that has since passed from the world to the point it is hard to imagine. Applejack may live on the farm, and may even be legitimately very happy with that, but she is capable of imagining a bigger world.
4113375
I look forward to it. :)
Now back at my regular computer and reading about it, 80 Days does indeed sound interesting.
Only semi-related, but have you played Victoria 2 at all?
Ah, thanks.
I'm pleased to see I'm not the only one who overshot horizon's (mercifully soft) original deadline.
Also, good heavens, these blogs are insightful! I thank you for detailing your thoughts so thoroughly.
The first voice has AJ sounding almost mechanical in her inability to imagine a better world whereas the second makes me see her as younger and hopeful. I'm glad you're leaning more towards the latter and I look forward to seeing your portrayal!
And I never played 80 Days but if anything can push me to do so it's a good crossover =D.
4113423
I have not played that game! Though my girlfriend goes on about it as do many of my friends. I have heard it is good.
Whoo, 80 Days! I've been meaning to ponify that for ages, it's a fantastic bit of storytelling, even if the speed run takes you across Russia every time
Glad to see you're taking a crack at it.
P.S. Did you find the Nautilus?
4113480
Happy too! They'll get more substantive when I have draft sections and editor feedback to show.
4113522
It's really good. :D
4113697
Not yet. But I have a bad tendency to speed-run through Russia or end up somewhere in the middle of Africa wondering how the hell I got here.
4113723 Heh, yeah I know that feeling. I keep ending up in Tehran with no idea how I got there yet again.
It does pay to break off the beaten path though, I found a cheaty route around last time I played because I wanted to see how far north you could go. Turns out the answer is 'pretty damn far!'
4113898
Uuuugh! That turned into a disaster for me.
I failed to prevent the mutiny and we nearly froze to death on the ice.
4113677
4113423
That's because Victoria 2 is awesome! Represent.
4113929 Spoilers, but I think the mutiny is guaranteed. Freezing to death on the ice is totally something you can do, though.
4113359 4113522
80 Days is indeed great! I wrote up a blog post on my experiences with it, and what lessons it can teach you to improve your writing, and am sort of the force behind the crossovers that have been sporadically poppping up here. I need to find some time this week to write my long-overdue reviews of the ones that have already been published (and clear out my slate so I can be more prompt about the ones that haven't dropped quite yet).
4113697
I would look very forward to that crossover! Let me know if you do; I'll plug it in my blog.
4113480
Looks like you and I both ought to get cracking.
4113929
"Failed" to prevent the mutiny? Is that possible? I thought the trip was a guaranteed disaster.
(Though in my North Pole playthrough I did get the romance ending, where Passepartout fails to return to London because he stumbles back across his arctic lover, who walked off into the snow and was thought dead.)
4113677
Ah, well, I've never played it without some version of pony mod, but I'd agree. :)
4114099
My current (modded) game, which I've played a bit more of recently after a long absence, is going quite well for Equestria. I don't recall at the moment if it's the late 1920s or the early 1930s, but the Union of Equestria is currently the leading great power by a fair bit, coming in second (as far as the scoring goes) only in military power (to a large and powerful great power China, as I recall, though my overseas force projection capability isn't that good anyway). The Americans were pushed back to the Mississippi some decades ago, then a bit more recently partitioned in a great war. Both the USA and the CSA, as I recall, I currently in the sphere of Germany, but New England (which recently took Pennsylvania) and the Manhattan Republic are in mine (along with at least half, I think, of Africa). Though I might be wrong about New England; it might currently be unsphered due to some struggles I've been having over it with Aztlan. Oh, who finally won the struggles over Columbia to start building the Panama Canal (which I wasn't bothering with, having judged easier naval travel between the Atlantic and Pacific not worth it for me). In affairs further abroad, I believe Britain recently rose back to second place after spending some time in fourth following a relatively minor European great war (in which I don't remember it actually taking part) which brought down France significantly. I think the Austro-Hungarians are third, followed by Germany. The Soviet Union formed, but it's currently a secondary power. I am wondering if anything will come of what looks like an American rearmament before the end of the game, though, especially since I think Germany, their sphereholder, as I said, is the only other great power I don't have positive relations with (due to, as I recall, their support of the Americans in the great war that lead to partition).
4114529
[reads]
...This game is sounding increasingly good. :)
4114654
As I recall, the pony-modded empire is a bit OP.
4114795
Well, I think I recall reading that the Pony Demand Mod made it less so... but I'm instead using a modmod that makes it, if anything, more so. So, um... yeah, probably. :)
4115349
See now, try leading the Ottomans to reverse their historical decline~
4115589
Aye, I can imagine that would be a lot more challenging. :)
Or starting as Krakow and working one's way up to great power status or something. There's, ah, yeah, I lot more to do with the game than just playing Equestria. I keep thinking that I'll get around to playing someone else one of these days (though I did, with an earlier mod, play once as China and at least once as the USA).
Though an overpowered Equestria could serve as a potential obstacle to overcome when playing another nation, especially on North America.
(As an aside, in this game the Ottomans (now Turkey following a recent communist revolution, as I recall) spent a surprisingly long time as a bourgeoisie dictatorship. And while they've not been a great power in a long time, well, it's the late twenties/early thirties, and they're still there (without having lost that much territory, even... unless one counts Egypt).)