Friendship is Card Games: My Little Pirate: Friendship Ahoy · 10:54am Jul 24th, 2016
This week’s entry presented an unfortunate challenge. Namely, there didn’t appear to be a name for the storyline as a whole. Each issue is identified, but there’s nothing for the whole arc... or so I thought. DannyJ gave me the information found here when the comics refused to. With that marked on the map, let’s set sail
Adventure #1: The Salty Sea Mare
Ah yes, the first post-ascension comic storyline… though Twilight is still a unicorn on one of the alternate covers. Whoops.
Okay, Horseshoe Bay is at least halfway across the country from Ponyville. Even with the trains, it’s not exactly a quick there-and-back-again jaunt. Heck, it takes me the better part of an hour to get to the beach and I just have to cross the breadth of New Jersey.
Ah yes. This may be after “Magical Mystery Cure” but it’s still well before “It Ain’t Easy Being Breezies.” Fluttershy can be… clingy. Though if Gil is a saltwater fish, I have to wonder how he found his way to landlocked, center-of-the-continent Ponyville in the first place. I suppose Fluttershy may have found him on an earlier beach trip.
Oh good Lord, one of those crabs is pinching Pinkie’s tongue. Masochist Pie confirmed?
It’s times like this that show how close Fluttershy is to becoming a crazy critter lady. Heck, she pretty much was one before becoming the Bearer of Kindness. How many ponies even knew she existed?
It takes a special kind of scurvy-ridden stupid to mistake Spike for a parrot. That, or this guy is so desperate for a decent crew that he’ll humor the crazy pegasus. One of the two.
Okay, given the way he talked Twilight into joining in, I’m siding with “desperate for crew.” Also, I’m getting Sassy Saddles-esque vibes; if the pirate needs a crew, you should probably ask what happened to the last one.
I do quite like Dash and Twilight’s banter over there being nothing to worry about but, you know, the whole “voluntary abduction” thing.
Yes, only the brightest, most capable navigators can locate the Gallopinghost Islands, which is why there’s an entire town there. I’d put this down to the captain playing Twilight, but she doubted whether the archipelago even existed. Apparently the cutthroats and corsairs of the high seas have managed to hide the place from Equestria’s more law-abiding cartographers.
It’s a good thing Applejack isn’t there to see the tavern. Not sure how she’d react to the piratical analogues of her family.
Hmm. Well, Pinkie can eat enough for Famine, Dash picks enough fights to qualify as War, any alicorn can be Death incarnate if she so chooses, and Rarity’s business empire can be seen as a form of Conquest. Yeah, the apocalypse claim checks out.
Okay, that reference was just Goony. Still, credit where it’s due, Dash is an impressive swordsmare.
Oh, Fluttershy.
“You’re excitement is admirable.” And my disgust is palpable. 
Points to the captain for getting past the juice with technical truths while avoiding any specifics.
Yeah, trying to ransom off the alicorn? Bad idea. Still, good to see the story acknowledge her wings and what comes with them.
Please. They brought Rarity. A giant crab isn’t going to be any kind of problem.
Bonus biology points. Ghost crabs are indeed a subfamily of crustaceans, ones with those distinctive eyestalks. Of course, the square-cube law precludes giant enemy crabs of any species, but that’s presumably where magic comes in.
Adventure #2: X Marks the Spots
Hmm. The Pona Lisa, a Mr. Potato Head, Ariel’s fork candelabrum, old pizza, a lawn gnome… but it’s Tut’s death mask and the G1 pony toy that make me raise my eyebrow. Those don’t seem to be from around these parts…
Pinkie makes a good replacement Fluttershy when crabs are involved. Who knew?
Given how Hoofbeard’s old crew abandoned him, I’d say real pirates have far less loyalty than the Bearer thereof’s idealized versions.
Huh. A “Ms. Sparkle” just after “Good work, blue pony! And other… ponies.” Does Hoofbeard remember their names or not?
Okay, the main cast armed to teeth—literally, in some cases—is a very cool image.
I can understand Rarity crafting pirate outfits for everyone, but where did she get the materials for the huge Elements of Harmony sail?
And now an unexpected crossover with Under the Sparkling Sea of all things. Yes, that’s where the mantahawk comes from.
So, mermares believe in never mixing land and sea… but also in true love. How convenient. And, in this case, contradictory.
I do love how the gill spell gives Hoofbeard’s pegleg a fin.
In all, this was some harmless fun with relatively little frustration. Who can say no to a little rollicking adventure on the high seas?
Never Let Go 2W
Instant
Target creature can’t leave the battlefield this turn. (Even if its toughness is 0 or less.)
Clinginess doesn’t require fingers.
Wave of Chastisement 2WW
Instant
Wave of Chastisement deals damage to each attacking creature equal to the number of attacking creatures.
If you want to discourage pirates, make your defenses look unprofitable.
Sidling Swarm UU
Creature — Crab
Whenever an artifact enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Sidling Swarm.
When Sidling Swarm dies, put a 1/1 blue Crab creature token onto the battlefield for each +1/+1 counter on it.
It’s easier to list the Ungulan species that can’t use tools.
1/1
Distracting Shanty 1U
Instant
Creatures your opponents control get -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is your devotion to blue. (Each U in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to blue.)
“A few yo-ho-hos and you’ve got them in the frog of your hoof.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Cardsharp Corsair 2U
Creature — Pony Pirate
U, T: Exile the top card of your library face down.
You may look at cards exiled with Cardsharp Corsair.
When Cardsharp Corsair leaves the battlefield, put each card exiled with it into its owner’s hand.
2/1
Hoofbeard’s Parrot 2U
Creature — Dragon Pirate
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do and that creature isn’t a Pirate, discard a card.
“I’m not sure if he really thinks I’m a bird, but the crackers are growing on me.”
2/1
Rollicking Rabble 1UUU
Creature — Pony Pirate
Flash
When Rollicking Rabble enters the battlefield, counter target spell with converted mana cost 3 or less.
On land or sea, trouble comes in threes.
3/1
Aloof Mermares 3U
Creature — Horse Merfolk
Aloof Mermares can’t be the target of nonblue spells or abilities from nonblue sources.
The mermares believe land and sea can never be one so strongly that counterarguments cannot pierce their scales.
2/3
Oceanic Mantahawk 3U
Creature — Fish Bird
Islandwalk
1U: Oceanic Mantahawk gains flying until end of turn.
They see the world as a collection of currents, making little distinction between air and water.
3/3
Captain Hoofbeard 4UU
Legendary Creature — Pony Pirate
When Captain Hoofbeard enters the battlefield, name a nonland card, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal the named card. If you do, put that card on top of your library and the rest into your graveyard. Otherwise, shuffle your library.
You may cast the named card without paying its mana cost.
2/2
Ghost Crab Hoarder 4UU
Creature — Crab
Affinity for artifacts (This spell costs 1 less to cast for each artifact you control.)
Hexproof
7UU: Monstrosity 3. This ability costs 1 less to activate for each artifact you control. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
3/3
Galley Bandits 3B
Creature — Pony Pirate
Lifelink
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
“That’ll be four teeth for the hardtack.”
2/3
The End is Neigh 3BB
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Destroy all Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn creatures.
• Destroy all non-Pony, non-Pegasus, non-Unicorn creatures.
Many planes associate horses with apocalypses, and for good reason.
Sun-Bake 1RR
Instant
Cast Sun-Bake only after combat.
Sun-Bake deals 2 damage to each creature that didn’t attack this turn.
Sometimes the worst thing you can do on a hot day is nothing at all.
Cannon Blast 2R
Instant
Kicker — Sacrifice an artifact. (You may sacrifice an artifact in addition to any other costs as you cast this spell.)
Cannon Blast deals 4 damage to target creature. If Cannon Blast was kicked, it deals 4 damage to that creature’s controller.
Foment Mutiny 3R
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, if that player controls more creatures than each other player, he or she may untap target creature he or she doesn’t control. If that player does, he or she gains control of that creature until end of turn and it gains haste until end of turn.
Unbridled Aggression 3RR
Instant
Creatures you control get +3/+0 until end of turn.
Hoofcraft — If you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, creatures you control gain first strike until end of turn.
A species without thumbs can’t help but arm itself to the teeth.
Pineapple Serum 1G
Sorcery
Kicker 2
You gain 2 life for each card in your hand. If Pineapple Serum wasn’t kicked, reveal your hand.
It tastes so good, you can’t help but tell everyone about it. And anything else on your mind.
Swashbuckle 1G
Instant
Kicker U
Target creature you control fights target creature you don’t control. If Swashbuckle was kicked, the creature you don’t control gets -3/-0 until end of turn before it fights.
Rainbow Dash’s glee lasted until she realized she never got to swing on a chandelier.
Map of the Wandering X 3
Artifact
3, T: Name a card, then reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all revealed cards with the chosen name into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
Seek, and you may find.
Straw-Hat Buccaneer 2GU
Creature — Pony Elemental Pirate
Reach
1U: Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only Straw-Hat Buccaneer.
He’s rubber. You’re not.
3/3
Tropical Outpost
Land
As Tropical Outpost enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Forest or Island card from your hand. If you don’t, Tropical Outpost enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G or U to your mana pool.
Personally, I loved the part where the old crew got it in their heads to hold Twilight to ransom. The Mane Six openly laugh at them, and Twilight fries them with lightning. Fun times.
Particularly, compare and contrast with the Cattle Rustlers, by far the weakest arc, where Twilight could resolve the plot at any time, except for a bad case of Lawful Stupid.
The usual apocalyptic set is Famine, War, Death, and Pestilence (or Malady, or Disease). Anyone who claims that Disease has largely been vanquished is sadly mistaken.
Amusing as always, the cards are exceptional.
...
What no mention of the Luffy, Zorro, Sanji, and NAmi ponies?
4109958
Oh, believe me, I am dreading that particular review. Thank goodness the show will resume next week and give me more time before I have to look at that heinous waste of pixels.
4110002
Pestilence seems to be a much more recent interpretation of the White Horseman, appearing in the early twentieth century. Also, Conquest fits Rarity far better, unless one really stretches it and proclaims fashion a memetic contagion. I have to make the joke work somehow.
4110147
I noticed them, and based the stretchy, bouncy Straw-Hat Buccaneer on Luffy. However, it's been a long time since I last read One Piece. Sanji hadn't even been introduced yet. Besides, the comic blogs would probably half again as long if I mentioned every reference.
4110181
Thinking on the matter further, I'm not sure what Twilight was doing there even qualified for Lawful Stupid. It is likely just plain old stupid.
Consider: the "plot" is essentially the Mane Six breaking multiple laws in order to trick the antagonists into breaking a law Twilight is prepared to enforce, with Twilight insisting on ignoring said antagonists open and violent criminality.
If someone did that in a fanfic, I would call them out on nuking established characterisation to get their dumb arse plot off the ground, and I will not let them off here: the Cattle Rustlers arc is the worst characterisation of Twilight I have seen in an official release.
Have fun reviewing it when the time comes, Fan...
I also thought it was strange that going to the beach was just a day trip for the Mane 6. It makes me more and more convinced that the comic writers don't pay close attention to the show.
For me, this comic was just okay. It was a little hard for me to get past how forced some of the plot points were.
4110181 This has given me cause to think about linguistic drift, since my initial reaction was that Conquest was even more the odd man out than Death. War, starvation, and disease all cause death; modern use of the term "conquest" essentially gives it the meaning "the reason for war". On the other hand, actually looking at its derivation gives it the meaning "subjugation; the state of being conquered"; that makes Conquest fit in by forming a pair with Death: the thirst for conquest leads to war which causes death, and the plight of conquest leads to famine which causes death.
I have a soft spot for genre pastiches of all sorts, and I rather enjoyed this one. Clingy Fluttershy was probably my favorite part, but Pony Jack Sparrow is great too. And yes, when they pitted the ponies against a giant crab it was one of the earliest times I understood that the creative crew is actually paying attention to what the fans do
Has anyone else noted how exceptionally weird a name "Hoofbeard" is? I mean, it'd be like a human pirate named "Handbeard" or "Footbeard".
4110002 Actually, the actual Biblical Horsemen are The Antichrist, War, Famine/Pestilence/Economic Collapse (All one horseman) and Death. The War/Famine/Death/Pestilence division is a pop culture thing.
4110857 Haven't actually read the comic, so I'm just going by what I see here, but I'm half-surprised that the giant crab didn't turn out to be a good guy. In MLP G1, there was an episode where a group of flower-people come to the ponies and beg their assistance in defeating their enemy, a group of giant crabs called Crabnasties. But the flower-folk's pleasant appearance and manner were deceptive, and there was more to the Crabnasties than met the eye. Straightforward Aesop about appearances being deceiving? Mostly, but the Crabnasty leader was voiced by Peter Cullen, turning the entire episode into an homage to Transformers.
4111606
I can only assume that Hoofbeard is less Jack Sparrow and more Chuck Norris. There is no chin under his beard, only another hoof.
4111849
Actually, they do befriend the giant crab in the end. Sort of. Pinkie calls in the massive swarm of smaller crabs she befriended earlier who then threaten to steal the giant crab's stuff. It stops fighting and gets several dozen friends as a result.
4111855
"I once got into a barfight with him. His beard kicked me across the room."
I'm really just looking forward to you reviewing the arc where Sombra is turn good. That one interested me.
Ah, the pirate story. Apparently the official name is My Little Pirate: Friendship Ahoy. I found it fun, but it was pretty forgettable for me. Not my favourite, but I'm not sure it did anything really wrong.
I'm going to say that there's once again some interdimensional disturbance going on here. Maybe there's some kind of Bermuda Triangle analogue around these seas, constantly swallowing up and spitting out pirate ships and their treasure. Somewhere out there, a crew of human pirates who brought a golden idol of King Tut into this world are having a jolly old time, utterly convinced that they all went mad from the sun ages ago. Meanwhile, they are hunted down by their sworn enemies, the crew of the Golden Apple, who have chased them across fifteen worlds already and are completely jaded to seeing alternate versions of ponies they know by now.
The Elements of Harmony sail is also interesting to me, because the main six never usually seem to identify themselves by their roles as bearers. It's one of those things that they don't acknowledge unless the artefacts themselves are relevant to the ongoing plot. And I don't just mean that they don't brag about it in public. I mean that it's not even a thing we see them reference casually amongst themselves, at least not often enough that I can recall any instances. But when they're trying to be a badass pirate crew, they choose the Elements as their flag. I think it says a lot about them.
...I had a lot more to say about this arc than I thought I would.
4116277
Can you provide a source on that arc name? I'd like to get multiple confirmation.
I suppose the Element sail is a bit like flying the Jolly Roger, meant to intimidate those who see it. After all, pirates aren't exactly the most harmonious sort.
I would totally read this story. Best mummy's curse ever.
4116297
I would totally write it if I had an idea for an actual plot (or at least I'd add it to my ever-growing list of projects).
As for your question: source, and source according to my source.
4116306
Excellent! Appropriate adjustments have been made. Thanks for the heads-up. I'll be sure to check the wiki in the future.