Dan Vs. California, 3 years ago · 11:51pm May 22nd, 2016
For those of you wondering a bit more about Dan's backstory, we decided to write this to elaborate a little more on the world Dan lived in before arriving in Equestria. Because who knows? Maybe he'll visit Earth again one day.
Not that he'll want to.
In 2012, instead of 44th American president Barrack Obama winning reelection, he and Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney were both defeated by California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger, who was allowed to run on a technicality, was a third party candidate who ran on a platform promising fast and aggressive solutions to the nation's modern problems. As a result, major Islamic and other religious terrorist groups were dealt with quickly, the United States' debt to China was repaid and the immigration system was streamlined. As a consequence, most middle eastern countries were laid to waste, Russia and China were at war and Alaska, Texas and Florida seceded from the union.
Across the Atlantic, David Cameron decided to quit his career in politics in the UK to instead become a pig farmer in Argentina. Succeeding him as prime minister was David Tenant, who turned out actually really was the 10th doctor in real life. Britain was invigorated by his leadership to the point they decided to reestablish their colonial empire, starting with New England. The United States was annexed by the British under the pretense that, "two-hundred years is bloody long enough." The Americans were unable to argue with the logic and soon capitulated. Schwarzenegger stepped down as president after his second year in office and the British appointed comedic talk show host Graham Norton as royal governor of the North American Colonies, minus Alaska, Texas and Florida.
After Dan Vs. was canceled, Dan was forced to get a steady job because of rising taxes caused by British re-occupation. He became a subcontractor with his friend Chris for the Pacific View General Construction Company and was usually tasked with removing drywall and other materials from buildings before demolition. Because money is scarce, Dan is forced to rely on former enemies like Vegan Vic in order to acquire food for himself. Despite the fact Dan retains ownership of his car, rising gas prices force him to leave it parked in front of his studio apartment and walk to work every day through traffic.
The government agency Elise works for becomes a resistance movement against the British occupiers, hoping to return America to American ownership. They run a propaganda campaign hoping to inspire citizens to protest British rule but they have little success. Dan frequently uses the vending machines at his apartment complex for food because of their cheap prices and convenience, unfortunately, lack of maintenance causes them to fail. After repeated complaints at the front desk, Dan repeatedly smashes the vending machine with an aluminum baseball bat and leaves it on the front desk counter. He is evicted from his apartment shortly after.
Shortly after this, Dan is invited to a vacation with Chris and Elise to visit Chris' relatives in Toronto, Canada. After the short vacation, Dan and company depart Toronto Pearson International Airport on Trans-Tolerable Airlines flight 1813, which goes off course due to a navigational/implied pilot error. Dan opens the airlock to the plane, mistaking it for the lavatory after it was improperly labeled. Falling over the Pacific ocean, Dan passes through a cloud that somehow transports him to Equestria.
Details about an average day for Dan on Earth will follow in a later post.
I knew I could never trust David Tenant.