Top/Bottom 5: Scariest Short Stories on Fimfiction. · 4:31pm Mar 16th, 2016
I've always been a big fan of dark/horror stories. When it comes to genres, it's quite possibly my favorite. The problem with that is that most attempts at them are... well, terrible. Be they poorly built up, not understanding what makes a story scary, or whatever, a lot of dark/horror stories on this site really fail to make me feel any form of fear whatsoever, which just makes the ones that do manage to get it right stand out all the more. So, in honor of the whole yin-yang relationship between good stories and bad, I'm going to do a top 5 on what I feel is both the best and the worst dark/horror short stories. Why short stories? Because most stories I read are quite short. Simple as that. For the best list, I'm looking for stories that I not only found to be scary, but were also well written and creative. As for the worst list, I'll be judging them by the opposite, although disappointments will play a factor.
Before we begin, let's set down some ground rules. First off, a story has to be on Fimfiction to count, and it has to be clear that it's primary intent is to scare the audience. Second, for the sake of promoting some diamonds in the rough, any story with more than 5000 views will not be considered for either list, so things like The Cough, Biblical Monsters, and Silencing Song, despite all being very effective stories, won't be on the list. Third, in the case of the worst stories, trollfics such as Cupcakes 2 the Reawakening will not be considered, nor will any fic that skirted the line between troll and not troll, such as 'Why Did I Do This?'. I seriously cannot tell if that was supposed to be that bad or not. Fourth, only one fic per author will be allowed, otherwise I'd have most of the best list dedicated to Horse Voice. And finally, just to make it clear, this is all just my personal opinion. If you like any of the fics on the worst list or vice versa, then kudos to you. Just try to remain civil about it, K?
So with all of that said, let's get started with the Number 5 worst!
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Number 5 Worst:
It's Always Party Time by Eater-of-Worlds Smooze
When it came down to the final spot, it was either this story or Pinkie.jpg, as both stories are surprisingly similar, despite all their differences. Both involved a Pinkie-esque abomination straight out of the gates of Zalgo preying on a little filly (Twist in the former, Sweetie Belle in the latter). Neither story makes much sense logically, both have the monster come from out of nowhere, and both are quite unappealing to read. The reason that this particular story edged out it's multi mouthed cousin is that, with Pinkie.jpg, I can at least understand what's going on: monster hunts Sweetie Belle because internet. In addition, Pinkie.jpg is at least tonally consistent. This story, on the other hand, is just all over the place tone wise. It feels like it's switching between being a horror story at some points, a clopfic at others, and at a couple of points it oddly tries to be a comedy piece, what with the whole Alice in Wonderland... thing. It tries to balance them out, but it only results in the tones tripping over one another. The horror of the scene is heavily muted by the errotic bits, the parts that I think are supposed to be errotic were too painful sounding for me to seriously believe that it would make anyone hot and bothered, and the comedy bits are just... completely out of nowhere. In addition, the story is confusing as hell to follow. It flashes backwards and forwards all over the place, making me seriously wonder at points if I was reading the story in order, and the monster that's hunting Twist is so poorly defined that I honestly couldn't tell what it was, what it looked like, or why it was there. It's tonally confused, it's confusing as hell to follow, and it failed to leave me feeling anything but aggravation, earning it the 5th place spot on the worst of list.
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Number 5 Best:
Silence by Blappy
Have you ever read the Cough? This story clearly has, because even though the two stories are different enough in style and tone for both to be their own story, the premise and the conclusion to these two stories are quite similar. In this tale, the Main 6 are trapped in Twilight's Library, which is the last safe haven from the infection right outside the door. The audience watches as certain members of the group slowly begin to go insane, and how the others react to it.
What really makes this story so effective is just how cold and harsh it is. The isolation has made the characters we know and love into virtually empathy free beings who are more than willing to sacrifice one of their own for the sake of survival, and you really get the impression that this will eventually cause them to self-destruct until none remain. It's really unnerving to see these characters so heartless (for an actually logical reason.) It manages to do quite a lot with very little, and kept me unnerved throughout. It's a very unsettling story that probably could've gotten a lot higher if it weren't for the fact that it was so similar to another story we already had on Fimfiction. Still, if you're into dark stories, I definitely think that you should consider giving this one a chance.
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Number 4 Worst:
I'm Really Sorry, But... by eyecikjou567
I already talked about this one in my Lackluster Literature series, so I'll try not to spend too much time on it here. As I said in that review, I'm Really Sorry, But... is a story that has a very interesting and unsettling idea: Pinkie has someone or something controlling her, forcing her to do things that she really doesn't wish to do. This is an excellent idea that is unfortunately spoiled by the fact that all Pinkie does in the story is kill her friends one by one in the exact same way each time, which is something that had already been done to death even before this story was released. The story is logically nonsensical, the killings are highly repetitive, the scary bit where she's being controlled is basically thrown in as an afterthought, and the ending was completely ridiculous. I know what the author was going for, trying to make it clear that Pinkie's need to kill all witnesses includes the reader of the story, but the way it was put in there was so absurd that it legitimately made me laugh out loud. It's stupid, it's boring, it's repetitive, and it ends on one of the most backwards note I've seen in a while, earning it the 4th place slot.
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Number 4 Best:
Holder's Boulder by Horse Voice
I love this guy's work. Seriously, if I took out the view limit and the one per author thing, than his stories would make up most of the best list on their own. However, after some thought, I eventually decided that out of the stories of his that fit the criteria, his tribute to Howard Phillips Lovecraft was both the creepiest and the most engaging. In it, Maud discovers that a cosmic horror is coming. However, she knows no details beyond that, as Holder's Journal (an ancient family journal that had the information on it) was chewed up by a possessed Limestone. As time goes on, more and more unusual and unexplainable things happen as the evil in the story comes closer to resurfacing.
I really enjoyed the pacing and the atmosphere in this story. You're never given too much info about what this thing is, but you can feel it's presence by both the unusual happenstances that happen as time moves on, and by the bits from the journal that Maud puts back together. It slowly gives the reader info about it, but it always keeps them in the dark simultaneously, making for a really engaging, atmospheric story that kept me engaged and unnerved throughout. The only thing that keeps it out of the top three is the ending. While it's by no means bad, it didn't quite leave me with the payoff I'd hoped for. I think it would've felt more complete if it ended with somepony suggesting that they could reverse Maud's petrification. I think that would've made the story feel a lot scarier, as it would make it so that, despite Maud's best efforts and selfless sacrifice, the evil in the boulder ultimately couldn't be stopped. Even so, this story is quite a good read. It's creepy, it's engaging, and it's definitely worth a look.
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Number 3 Worst:
Snapped by LightningSword
Oh boy, I am going to get some interesting mail about this one. I'll try not to step on too many toes for this one, as a lot of people seem to enjoy this story for whatever reason, but I honestly cannot understand the appeal behind it. In this story, Spike finally gets fed up with Rarity being completely unaware of his feelings towards her, and goes into an extremely over the top tantrum which soon resolves with him killing her. That's pretty much all there is to it. Sure, the story tries to bill itself as a 'psychologically driven horror story', but it's really not. The story gives us a whopping one sentence of build-up before Spike starts smashing stuff up in a style so cartoonish that I half expected to see a Looney Tunes character wander in. Without any build-up or anything from Spike's perspective before he starts smashing stuff, it just comes off as dull to anyone who wants more from a story than Spike breaking things.
In addition to that, the story fails to make any of the characters empathetic in the slightest. All we get from the characters prior to the murder is an angry Spike acting like he's entitled to Rarity's love just because he's nice to her, and a Rarity who's not only inconsiderate, but also appears to possess all of the intelligence of a rock. Neither character is likable, neither is empathetic, and as a result, I don't care about either of them, meaning I don't feel anything when the murder happens. Combine that with the fact that we see the murder happen twice in the same story (with the second go around being from Twilight's perspective), and you've got a boring, uninteresting, and thoroughly unenjoyable mess of a story that fails to scare, fails to spark emotion, fails to engage, and fails to escape from the bottom 5.
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Number 3 Best:
Reflection by ask Silver Grand
I already talked about this story in it's comment section, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much here. In this story, Vinyl Scratch is behind on her debt, and would only be able to make the rent if she can hit more than one performance at a time. This leads Vinyl to the mirror pool, where she tries to make a clone for this purpose... but things don't quite go as expected.
Due to the fact that I can't really talk about why I feel this story works so well without spoiling the creepier parts, I'm going to be censoring a lot of my words. If you don't want it spoiled for you, go read the story first, then come back to me. This story's plot reminds me a lot of those old stories where robots become self-aware and attempt to overthrow their creators. Similarly to those sorts of stories, a lot of this story's creepiness factor comes from the fact that the creation is willing to destroy the creator without a second thought. That's creepy on it's own, but what really sells it for me is how the clone's reasoning for doing so makes a lot of sense. It simply doesn't want to be destroyed once its purpose is served, and feels that the original Vinyl absolutely ruined her own life. The clone feels that it could make her/their life a lot better, by being less of a party pony and more of a stable individual. All it has to do is to eliminate the original, and take her place, with nopony being the wiser. The idea that there's something that not only wants you to disappear, but could easily make it so that you cease to exist while it takes your place is absolutely horrifying, even if its intentions aren't malevolent.
I also really enjoy the ending and how open to interpretation it is. We don't know know if it's the real Vinyl who's gotten a reality check, or if it's the clone, which makes the final line of the story all the more unnerving. While it does have some grammar problems, I still feel that it's a very underlooked gem, and it's definitely worth giving a look.
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Number 2 Worst:
Spike's Heartache by Djheartpon3
Yep, the story that started my series of blog reviews made it on here, and almost took the number one spot while it did it. But who can blame me? This story is really, really bad! In the story, Rarity gets a call from Spike, asking her to help him with something. Rarity agrees, and through a series of extremely contrived events, Rarity finds herself in a basement somewhere, being tortured by Spike, because apparently dragons like the taste of hearts.
You might think to yourself that this story sounds an awful lot like another certain grimdark fanfiction, and quite frankly, you'd be right. It feels a lot like Cupcakes. It's bad enough that it tried that in the first place (since by this point, Cupcakes is basically a dead horse) but this story goes above and beyond the call of duty. It honestly feels like it's taking the Cupcakes formula and actively trying to make it worse! The pacing is clunky, nothing that happens makes any sort of sense, and it's attempts to be shocking are so deprived of details that it comes off as not shocking (which really was Cupcakes' strong point) and at points, virtually incoherrent. Instead of actual tension, this story thinks that it can be scary by just spewing around gore for gore's sake, casually forgetting that gore on it's own isn't scary, just kind of disgusting. Hell, it's not even well-written gore! I'm squeamish as hell towards the stuff, and even I didn't react to the "gore" in this story! This fic absolutely fails in every possible way!
This fic is the very definition of a pointless waste. It's not scary, it's not engaging, it's not interesting, and it's only occasionally coherent! It's the very definition of pointless drivel, hence the reason why it makes the number two slot on this list.
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Good god, talk about pulling the rug out from under you. In this story, you find yourself on AJ's farm. AJ welcomes you, and tells you a little tale about Applejack's dog Winona. Not the one she currently has, but the first dog she had who was also named Winona. The story she tells involves her first dog's encounter with a monster, and that's all I'm willing to say, since I really don't feel it's worth spoiling.
Before I get to the reason this story is so high, I'd like to spend a bit talking about the writing. This entire story is Applejack speaking to you. This was something of a risky move, as for whatever reason, a lot of writers on here seem to have trouble writing AJ's dialect. This story absolutely nails it though. It's clear that it's AJ talking to you, as her mannerisms are clearly there, but it doesn't go too over the top with it. She also sounds a whole lot like the AJ from the show, even when she's talking darker than normal, which I feel is at least worth the recognition.
However, that's not the reason why this story is so unsettling. No, the thing that makes this story so gosh-darn creepy is the twist that comes near the end. Once it's revealed why you're really here, and what AJ's motivations are, what was once warm and welcoming behavior from AJ in the beginning of the story suddenly becomes incredibly dark and malevolent. Also helping it out is that, in an odd, f
ked up sort of way, it actually makes sense for AJ's character. She is quite family motivated, after all, and Winona is a part of her family, so naturally, you would think that Applejack has about the same amount of care for her as she does her equine family. Not quite. As it turns out, she has far more love for Winona than her family. So much so that she's actually willing to sacrifice her family, friends, and anyone else who comes by her to it, and she's not about to let anyone who learns the truth (like say, for the sake of example, YOU) slip away. This completely shocked me, and left me with a cold chill running down my spine, which is something few fics have managed to pull off.
Overall, this is a very good one shot for anyone who's into horror, and is among one of the creepiest stories I've read on this site. I definitely recommend you check this one out. It's well worth the read.
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Number 1 Worst:
A Friendship Broken by Loyalty by zeldafand
I tried. I really tried not to have number one be such an obvious pick. I tried to convince myself that Spike's Heartache was the worse fic... but I just can't! There's no two ways about it: A Friendship Broken by Loyalty is such a complete and utter embarassment that even Spike's Heartache is pointing and laughing at it! Good lord, where do I even begin about what's wrong with this trainwreck?
Let's start with the fact that it's a Rainbow Factory spinoff. I didn't even like the original Rainbow Factory all that much! True, it did have some solid moments, and it provided some interesting backstory lore to chew on, but the extreme prejudice, absurdly OOC Rainbow Dash, and the lack of both surprises and unnerving moments left me feeling rather uninvested. Even so, I'm fine with a story building upon the first one. The problem here is that this one instead contradicts the first one constantly! It can't even get past the title page before it contradicts the original canon! I'd be okay with it if it was something interesting, but it's not! It's basically just Rainbow built the factory because she wanted to make the body of a pony she killed great again. That's literally it! At least make the reason for the facility existing somewhat important!
But that's not all, jack; the characters are all horrible too! If you thought Rainbow Factory's Dash was bad, then just wait till you see this one! Not only is she shown to be just as, if not more psychotic than the original RF's portrayal (for the most petty and idiotic of reasons, I'd like to add), but she also spends an annoyingly long time drowning in angst too! This isn't the Rainbow Dash we know, nor is it the Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory: this Rainbow Dash seems to be some kind of emo/goth teen who just so happens to be named Rainbow Dash. The other characters aren't much better. Every single one of them is ridiculously out of character. The characters are all so unlikeable (and not in an interesting way) that I can't bring myself to care about any of them! It makes the eventual killing of the friends, which could've been an unnerving moment if handled decently, completely unfullfilling.
As if that's not enough, it's pacing is faster than a shooting star, nothing makes even a hint of sense, the formatting is complete and utter garbage, the dialouge is painful to sit through, and the entire thing is a complete mess that somehow manages to be both incredibly predictable, and incredibly unfocused. There's no other dark fic I've seen on this site that deserves this position more than this pile of garbage, which is why it's at the bottom of the worst of list. If you're morbidly curious and really hate yourself, than give it a read, but as for everyone else, stay away! It's doesn't deserve to be read.
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Number 1 Best:
A Toast to Friendship by Eslee Ynopemos
A lot of you probably won't agree with me on this one, but I don't care. A Toast to Friendship is easily one of the best horror short stories I've read in some time. And the funny thing is, if I just gave you the basic run down on what the story is about, you'd most likely say 'been there, done that', and give it a wide berth. I mean, at first glance, it appears to be another run of the mill 'one member of the main six wishes to kill another' story that we've all seen before. However, it's far more than it seems.
So, why do I feel that this story is deserving of the number one spot? Several reasons. For a start, the story is incredibly intense. The story has a great way of keeping you on edge. You know what Rarity wants to do with Fluttershy, but you're never sure if she's going to succeed or not. What was originally planned to be a simple murder via poison quickly escalates into an incredibly tense scene with Fluttershy locked in the house of somepony who wants her dead, while they're home. Because Fluttershy is portrayed so well (she's just so innocent and sweet here that you can't help but like her), the reader is naturally worried for her, meaning that there's some actual tension to the scene, which is something that most stories of this type fail to grasp.
Another thing that sets this story apart is that the killer is not only portrayed as in character, but doesn't seem to view any of her actions as wrong. Her hatred of Fluttershy comes from the duo's rivalry in Green Isn't Your Color, but is twisted to the point of insanity. The way she speaks and thinks makes it clear that she views none of this abnormal, and honestly feels a lot like how I would imagine a serial killer would think. It's beyond terrifying to watch, and when you add in the fact that the audience is always on the edge of their seat, never knowing whether or not Fluttershy will survive this encounter, you get an absolutely incredible dark fic that really stuck with me. Of all the stories on this list, it's the only one that left me scared from beginning to end, which is why it takes the spot as the number one scariest short story I've read on the site.
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And that was my first list. So, let me know what you thought. Do you agree with my choices? Were there any stories you feel should've made one of these lists but didn't? What stories do you find scary? Should I make more lists like this one? Let me know in the comments below, all feedback is very much appreciated. I'm Charles Spratt, and I'm off to class now. Have a nice day guys. Cheers 
You know, it's a shame. I used to love these horror stories. Now, I don't have much time for them. Horror takes time to write and read, while the occasional "lol randem" comedy that lands in the featured box doesn't.
In any case, if I find myself with some time to kill and access to the site (or make some timid steps back onto the badfic grid), I'll be sure to read a few of these. Thanks.
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These specific horror stories, or horror stories in general?
3811191 Horror stories of this caliber.
Honestly, I can't really agree or disagree with the choices, since I've never read any of them.
But I DO think you should do similar lists.
Like, say, the top ten "So Bad they're good" fics.
I thought people had forgotten about this secret shame of mine. But I guess the worst fics come back to haunt us eventually.
I won't lie though. It still hurt a little bit.
3812573 Hey, I've gotten stuff that I'm not proud of ripped to shreds too, so I know that feeling.
3811344 Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the list, and I may end up doing another one at some point. Assuming I can either find another list topic I'm interested in, or ten so bad they're good fics. Whatever comes first.
3815530 In this case, I can't really complain too much. You've seen my better work, so I know you won't take this one as a huge point against me.