Y'all Qaeda update · 11:25pm Feb 11th, 2016
So, you might remember about a month ago I made a post about the standoff between the various crazed militia types (who were mostly from out of state) and the Oregon State Police and the FBI at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Eastern Oregon.
It has been a wild few weeks.
The armed group of militants, which has been occupying the wildlife refuge since early January to try and return it to its rightful owners - no, not the Native Americas, nor the Federal government, nor the state of Oregon, but a bunch of white farmers who have only lived in the area for 20 years - and to get their buddies who were thrown in prison on charges of federal arson for starting illegal fires that burned over 100 acres of land back out.
They ran out of snacks within 24 hours and proceeded to become a subject of widespread derision and mockery, while the folks who had been thrown in prison disclaimed any connection with the group occupying the refuge. People sent them all sorts of ridiculous items, including vegan jerky, a box of marital aids, and a 55 gallon barrel of personal lubricant.
The militants decided while they were there to destroy a bunch of fences, make their own road, remove cameras (because clearly, the federal government was just spying on them - there's no reason they'd have security cameras around federal property!), and start driving around the federal government's vehicles which were parked there.
One genius even drove to town in order to get supplies in one such vehicle and was (shock and surprise) arrested and charged with unauthorized use of a federal vehicle.
During the last week of January, a group of armed militiants comprising pretty much all of the group's leadership left the Malheur Wildlife Refuge to go to a town hall meeting in Burns, Oregon, apparently failing to understand the definition of the word "occupation". Unsurprisingly, the FBI and the Oregon State Police were waiting on the road for them, and a bunch of cars pulled out behind them and pulled them over. After they pulled over, one of them - Roy Finnicum, a man who had suggested he'd rather die than be taken alive and put in jail - sped off in his vehicle, which was occupied by three other militants. This worked about as well as you might expect, as he quickly discovered that the police had set up a road block on the road ahead, and that the deep snow on either side of the road was not something that 4 wheel drive was adequate for.
After crashing into the snowbank, Finnicum ran out of his truck with his hands up, then, after getting a short distance away, tried to pull his gun.
Needless to say, this ended quite badly for him.
His buddies quickly decided that maybe dying for their cause wasn't such a good idea after all, and promptly surrendered to the overwhelming police force. The police then went to the refuge and set up a bunch of road blocks, saying that everyone was free to go. Now.
All but four of the remaining militants got the hint and left, and several of their supporters outside of the standoff were arrested - one of them mid-podcast, resulting in a live camera being left broadcasting an image of the wall of his motel room for hours after his arrest while confused supporters wondered what was going on in the stream chat.
But, finally, today, it all ended. Cliven Bundy - a man who owes a million dollars to the government for his use of federal lands to graze his vast cow herds, and who has refused to pay his bills (which is a totally principled stand, really, and not just an attempt to cheat the government out of money) and previously engaged in an armed standoff with the government - foolishly flew to Portland, Oregon (without any guns!), where he was arrested and served with a 32 page long criminal complaint listing the many, many charges against him. Around the same time, the last four supporters finally exited the wildlife refuge and surrendered to authorities:
BURNS, Ore. — The armed occupation of a rural Oregon wildlife refuge ended peacefully here Thursday after 41 days as the last four anti-government activists surrendered to FBI agents, following an dramatic and emotional hour-long negotiation with the final holdout broadcast live on YouTube.
After repeatedly threatening to shoot himself, complaining that he couldn’t get marijuana, and ranting about UFOs, drone strikes in Pakistan, leaking nuclear plants and the government “chemically mutating people,” the last occupier, David Fry, 27, lit a cigarette, shouted “Hallelujah” and walked out of his barricaded encampment into FBI custody.
It is good to know these folks are so in touch with reality.
I'm sure their trials will be fun to watch.
In actual pony-related news, I'm working on my Valentine's Day story, which will hopefully hit FIMFiction this weekend. I also have been working on a couple of dramas, as well as my writeoff story, which won 7th place and will also be up on FIMFiction sooner rather than later, once I get around to editing it.
Until then, just remember to look up the definition of "occupation" before you occupy federal property. And make sure you bring enough snacks for everyone.
I hope that the traps they set were either a hoax or they are all found.
That was the worst planned and run occupation ever.
And people though Occupy Wall Street was silly.
“Y’all Qaeda” I love this!
I don't know what it says about me that the biggest reaction I had to this post was "OH F*** IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY SOON" at the end, not even because I'm in an actual relationship, but because I've been procrastinating on my Valentine's Day story... probably says something very bad about my priorities.
Someone should ponyfic that oh wait.
Also... What the frigging heck was going through their minds?[1] There was a point where this was funny. Then it was hilarious. Then it started getting sad. And then suddenly some guy gets frigging shot to death. He literally tried to draw on a barricade of armed cops. What? What? Just... just what?
[1]Other than bullets, apparently.
I recently moved to Oregon, and this is some wild news to be hearing. Kinda glad I'm in southwest Oregon, rather than the east.
Michele Fiore got the last four to surrender. She's as nutty as they are, and she holds public office. Here are a few quotes from that article:
A version of that particular bill enjoyed broad support and got signed into law.
Please tell me that they livestreamed this bit. I could use a bit more Alex Jones in my evening.
You give him too much credit. He flew to Portland and was arrested in the secure area of the airport, where he was guaranteed not to have any weapons.
Also, I prefer the name "Vanilla ISIS" for these idiots, but "Y'all Qaeda" is pretty good too.
about fucking time. i hope this nimrods end up as someones butt buddy in jail.
3748819 i live in the Northwest Part of Oregon, so we weren't anywhere near the insanity that was the nimrods.
At least nobody else got shot by the FBI. Kudos to Ms. Fiore for being a voice of reason (relatively) in a tense situation. Probably *the* most serious of the charges is the one against the idiot who drove the Government Owned Vehicle (GOV) into town. The Feds don't care for this much, and it's a fireable offense for Civil Service employees to intentionally use one for personal use.
Bundy was arrested on charges for his actions back in 2014 and not for anything the idiots did in Oregon. The million dollar bill that BLM claims against him from then has not (to my knowledge) ever been verified or produced other than in statements to the press, which is a little odd to say the least. The 2016 protesters/occupiers are being charged with 18 U.S. Code § 111 - Assaulting, resisting, or impeding certain officers or employees which is going to be weird going to court with on both sides, because the defendants made the mistake of posting their actions all over social media and the prosecution of this law has not been seen in court in decades (iirc).
Well, they didn't just go a little stupid. They went all the way. At least this ended with only one death. It could have been a lot worse.
I actually spent a good two hours listening to the livestream on Youtube as Michelle Fiore tried to keep those people calm. She actually did a decent job at it; can't be blamed if they were all nutty conspiracy theorists.
And honestly, you hear people's voices, you start to feel sorry for them. But man, was that surreal. And reading your rundown really points out just how entirely wrong and completely deserving of jail they are.
Somebody has written a hilarious song paying tribute to these true American heros:
3748796
In that case, it is unclear if he was just really angry (witnesses described him as being extremely agitated) or if he was actually trying to commit suicide by cop.
3748819
The first rule of Oregon is that no one actually lives in Eastern Oregon.
gis.ttu.edu/center/Arch/CGSTARCHWeb/JPEGs/US_PopulationDensityByCounty.jpg
Those gigantic counties down in the lower-right have like 3,000 residents each. They're both larger than the entire state of Connecticut, IIRC.
3749282
I actually feel quite bad for them, in honesty. I mean, it was funny when they were just incompetent teenagers. Then the guy declares he'd rather die than be arrested, and I started to think "Come on now, you're getting a bit extreme, surely?" And then he actually does it...
I mean, flipping heck. What happened to this guy that he's either a) so utterly convinced of a secret-evil-government conspiricy that he'd rather get himself shot to death than face arrest, or b) possessed of such poor impulse-control that he couldn't see the folly of drawing on a bevy of armed officers?
I'm really kind of depressed now, that people can reach that kind of state. I mean, obvs, it's always been true and always will be, but even so.