Rant and call for advice · 4:38pm Jan 6th, 2016
Okay, i'm not going to beat around the bush for this one.
Rewriting HLW is intimidating. Why? Because ignorance is bliss.
I've grown up as an author so much since I first published that fic that with all I now know makes it much more difficult and tedious to rewrite this thing. I need to get rid of the adverbs, fix comma storms, rework certain paragraphs, keep characters in check, don't let my own fantasies run rampant and wreck the story, etc. It's a mess.
Some days i'm an inch from scrapping everything and starting from scratch, and others I'm carefully considering massive story changes that may change everything like the S5 finale. Most of the time, I have no idea where to start. Not to mention trying to work on other stories and making new ones. Feels like for every word I get closer to working on HLW, I'm pushed three pages back with other story chapters. I mean, I already have 3 in the works for publishing. All clopfics, btw. I really need a non clopfic idea. Should probably watch equestria girls or something. Maybe some of the episodes again.
TL;DR I have a shit hurricane to calm down and no idea where to start. Send help
What reason do you have for rewriting HLW? I think it's going smoothly. IS it because of continuity errors in the show; like the season 5 finale with Chrysalis taking over? Do you not like the direction it's going and want to keep it a story about Cadence and Shining Armor sharing Chrysalis? Do you consider the side plot of Chrysalis and her sister (I think it was her sister) and how she feels inferior to them?
look around for an editor, this is a community site, there should be plenty who would be willing to help you and it will help to lessen the load.
The only other answer I've got is buckle down and work, and it'll get done. Push everything else that's not necessary out of the way, fight your brain with something that helps you focus (I use music) and use that focuser to trigger a pavlovian response for writing (I use music).
I know this feeling. Rewriting after you've learned more by writing is a difficult process. I have a few stories that I feel could be better, too, but I've held off because the train plunges ever onwards.
Might be you don't need to rewrite it, actually. Just take what you have learned and continue refining it as you move forward. Unless you really, really want to make it stand out.
But a maxim:
Writing expertise - any expertise - is achieved on a logarithmic scale. You improve the most at the beginning, when you know little, and improve little when you know much.
That doesn't mean you should stop trying to improve, though. Just keep in mind that absolute perfection is an impossible goal. Again, that doesn't mean mediocrity is the only place you'll end up. In writing, this is especially important to understand. What you write won't be perfect for everyone. For some, it'll be the best thing since bug zappers. For others, it won't be nearly as great as you want them to view it.
And that's okay.
I'm wandering off topic. The point is, keep improving, but you don't have to improve everything you've written to the current standard you're at. You can leave it as a reminder that you've improved that much instead of as a reminder of how little you knew before.
It's all in how you view it.
This is a tricky detail because as a slice-of-life story, it doesn't technically ever really need to end. Normally, since it sounds like your rewrite is more for quality control than reworking massive plot holes, I'd recommend finishing out a story with your heightened sense of quality over getting mired down by your past mistakes...
In any case, an editor is definitely an option (though they're just as human, and some may be too kind to change as much as you'd like). Honestly, it seems to be bothering you quite a bit so I'd probably just start reading at the beginning and make changes with each paragraph as necessary/desired.
3668090 I took a long look back at the earlier chapters and saw that the characters weren't strong enough, in my paranoid opinion. There were a lot of things I could do to really bring out their characters as well as solidify certain plot points. Plus, I didn't quite like how it got a little dark with the love absorbing statues and Shining's attack. Maybe that's just me.
I already have the whole thing planned out, so direction isn't an issue. I'm more concerned about keeping some of my more wilder fantasies from derailing the fic and driving readers away. I may take a strawpoll on that later.
The side plot was a problem because I kept forgetting about it. I wanted to make it stand out more, as well as Black Widow, instead of just amatuer 'I'm better than you' and Chryssy's 'woe is me, i'm so miserable' attitude.
3668187 Oh, I have an editor. That's not a problem. we kinda went through each chapter and hashed out the details, sometimes over and over until it was right. Essentially, I have the ground work and tools laid out, but I need to start working on it. And yes, I realize the best thing is to get serious and try writing more. I'm just very easily distracted by other things.
3668198 I know what you mean, but I'm a paranoid perfectionist. I want readers to have the best of my work. However, one of the things I've learned from my college classes is that while plot points are a part of the story, it's the characters that drive it. I want to really bring out the best of my characters. Hell, look at my Ancient Rituals series. I wrote that on a whim, letting the characters do as they please for the most part and look where it went. I just want the same for HLW, because some plot points could be made better and the character interactions would seem less forced. But it might just be me. I'm really paranoid.
I'm always trying to improve, and while I could just leave it as it is, it would make things slightly more natural (besides, my chess fic is a monument to all my writing sins as a beginner
). I mean, I honestly think I twisted Chryssy and Shining's character's around a few times just to suit the story's needs. Hell, most of the rewrites are in the first few chapters before Chryssy leaves for ponyville. Everyone else is fine, but those two just rub me the wrong way and I intend to fix them.
3668224 Oh believe me I know about it going on forever. I had to force myself to pick a stopping point. And yes it is a bit of quality control, but there are some pretty big plot holes that need to be covered. Assuming you haven't read the other comments, I'll boil it down to this. I read over the beginning chapters and I feel like Chryssy's and Shining's characters are forced at times especially that scene where he discovers her. There are a few character polishes I could make, but they are minor and mostly on Black Widow and the Queen.
I intend to finish this thing, but I want the best for the readers and I'm not going to paint myself into a corner because of some missing plot hole i forgot about.
3668694
I think what darkened the nature of Shining's attack and the statues was just how pre-planned it was.
The statues are a reasonable defence, although maybe a tad on the "drink you dry, til' you die" side, while the attack it seems as though he has contacts that see through the disguise and still allows Chrysalis' to fuck him, so he uses her, and then knowing full well that it isn't a clone only confronts her after the fact, yeah he doesn't know it's Chrysalis, and he seems to be mostly in control up until her reveal, but, come on dude, not cool. It's entrapment, and a pretty shitty thing to do, but necessary for the clop premise.
Moving it around might be better, maybe the first chapter still being the anniversary, but Chrysalis' bursts in, using the tunnel, is apprehended, and then Cadence tries to redeem her from that point on,.
I can't tell you how to deal with your distractions, I just keep plugging away until I get in the zone and it somehow works, but it can be difficult to get the juices flowing to start.
Characters, at least for me, can be boiled down to three social traits and how they deal with conflict (Brave, cynical, honest), three fears (Losing voice, darkness, not being in control), two motivations (Protecting hive, making authority figure look silly), and their capabilities in doing so (High Physical and Mental Resistance so just tanks through; not powerful but quick-witted so approaches from the one angle their enemies didn't see; very, very lucky and relies on it), and as long as I stick to these points, I find that characters can grow through interactions, they never start out fully developed, and they shouldn't because events change, things are revealed, and more information is given, everything at start is bad because it overwhelms. But that is my approach, and it is most likely flawed in some way that I can't find.
Another idea might be to space Black Widow's view point between Chrysalis's first night at Twilight's and then moving on to meeting Rarity, AJ, Fluttershy, and Rainbow, also maybe trope avert the "all 6 attack her" in that she manages to avoid AJ's clothline, she still wins the bet with Twilight, as all of them "attempt" to attack her, but the dodge demonstrates growth, adaptation, and change.
I believe I've said everything I can say, and most of it is probably not applicable to your current situation, but I would love to see the story continue, it is a fun read.
And remember music, I write to Eminem, but he might not be your cup o' tea.
3668694 If the side plot is that much of an issue, maybe you should consider dropping it then. Just go back and remove all scenes involving it. If you want to keep it, maybe have Black Widow try to one up Chrysalis, but she ends up failing? Or maybe Black sees what Chrysalis is doing and convinces every Changeling that Chrysalis is a traitor and exiles her?
3668891 If only it were that easy to drop it. Kinda takes a whole load out of Chryssy's character that i'd have to rewrite and it wouldn't be as deep. I had a really unique spin/reason for Chryssy redemption that i wanted to employ so it would be different from others. Trust me on this, the BW subplot is juicy and is closely tied to the story itself.
3668826 Yeah, I really felt that confrontation scene with Shining was a bit much which is why it will be heavily revised. Like wrecking balls and all. In it's place will be much more lighthearted, but no less serious. My characters will grow, but not in a horribly forced way.
And I got plenty of music. I try to listen to game soundtracks or some other instrumental music. Currently using animusic as my muse music.
3669866 Alright, well I don't know what else to offer to make it better. I was just throwing out some ideas for you.
sooo what exactly are you asking for help with?...
3680933 no worries. I got it now
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