Aftermath [Or the blog where Rarity stands on a soap box for 45 minutes] · 10:17pm Oct 23rd, 2015
I admit, I'm really rather confused over the hatred towards my Ending over the story of Aftermath. I think the biggest complaint is that it feels rushed. I...suppose I might be able to see where you're coming from with that. Or perhaps it's because Spoiled Rich didn't punished for what she does at the end. Is she supposed to get punished? It would be nice. It would be 'justice' But it wouldn't be realistic. People don't get punished and caught for these things, because it happens behind closed doors, to children who are unconditionally loyal to their parents. If you can't understand that, then you might be luckier for it.
This story was written based on true events. Mostly everything I went through with my mother, although somewhat less violent. Screaming. Shouting matches. Locked within rooms. And you end up with the ultimatums, and threats, usually from the abuser. They know their wrong.
You know they're wrong, but hearing things like:
If you ever tell anyone about this, you'll get taken away to an orphanage with cockroaches.
Or
If you EVER tell anyone this happened to you, you'll get into SO much trouble.
Has a tendency to shut you up. Nobody likes cockroaches. u.u
Maybe it isn't always abuse. Once, when I was very little, I wandered into the kitchen, and asked mother if we could go to Chuck-e-cheeses. Just, randomly. Mother was sitting at the kitchen table, looking over bills, and she looked at me and smiled, and said, "Lemme finish writing this check, get your shoes on. (I was obsessed with Ski-ball, back then) I will love that woman forever because of that. Little memories people cling to. Maybe she loved me then, but not now. But you feel like you still owe her for 'then' because she's your mother.
Did she punch me in the face and draw blood? Yes. Did she beat me with a wire hanger and leave welts? Yes. Did she tell me I was worthless because I was adopted? No. (That was father's shtick, not hers) But she did push me down the stairs, and I did end up in a cast now and then. Did she love to threaten me? Oh, yes. She'd go into detail about how she would kill the family dog if I didn't do what she said. She'd let me know that I had it's life in my hands and it would be my fault if anything happened to that dog. Did I run away from home? God, yes. But did I -tell- anyone? ...No. Do you have any idea how hard it is to accuse your parents of neglect, knowing full well this might lead to an investigation that leads to one, or both of them getting arrested? You'd be surprised what you're willing to live with sometimes. Unconditional love doesn't always do you favors, especially when it's not reciprocated. Not to mention the various threats from them. You're scared stiff, if mother warns you "If you ever tell anybody about this, it will be a DREAM compared to what I do to you!" Yes. It's horrible. But it's also effective
But I always had food to eat. Clothes to wear. Does that balance out the violence and Trauma? No. But it gets harder and harder to blame a person when you've got good memories mixed in with the bad. I mean she's still your mother. Once and a while she protected me from father's wrath when he was too drunk to realize what he was doing. no, there isn't any happy endings, it's all just a fucked up little dot in society we've get to fix.
So there's your story. One part Fanfiction, one part auto biography, one part plea for help, one part cathartic therapy.
I, by no means think a child should go unpunished or undisciplined. They deserve to feel safe within their own house, and have someone they can go to with problems. "Hey, I did something bad. I know that I did, and I'm sorry, it was an accident. Please forgive me. " This results in one slap across the face, or ten slaps across the backside. Was it necessary? Seems like the child learned his lesson. He's showing remorse, demonstrating regret, and responsibility for his actions by telling you, and not letting you find out on your own. Does the situation call for a beating? Is that the thin line of abuse? A sharp slap to the face, and being grounded for 2 months. Is that abuse? How about three slaps to the face and one month of being grounded? How about a good long talking too, and discussion over the situation. Maybe that'll work, maybe that won't.
Pull the child across your legs, take off their pants, pull off your belt, whip them 45 times with the leather. Is that too much? How about 30 times, then? Still to far? Okay, how about just ten good licks with the cane. Oh, well then how about 75 good smacks with just your hand? Guess what? As a child, you don't get a say in the matter. If 10 whacks with a cane is too much for you, but not enough for -them- we have a disconnect.
So, what if you don't think you're abusing your child? Ten slaps is good enough. That's how your parents beat you, isn't it? You turned out okay. Ten slaps is fine. For you. For her? Well, she might be able to take 9 slaps across the face, but ten is too much. But it's not up to her how you beat her. It's up to you. And you have absolutely no idea if ten slaps across the face will fuck your child up for the rest of her life.
Yes, ten slaps doesn't seem like much, but it's enough to send her into screaming fits in the middle of the night, due to bad dreams.
There's no way you could have known you were inflicting this kind of trauma on your child. You were just trying to teach them right and wrong. Now it's accidental abuse. Does that make it okay? "Whoops, I didn't mean to hit you that hard, or, "Whoops, I didn't mean to draw blood. " Is THAT okay, as long as it was an accident?
Where is the line? It's invisible and changes drastically from person to person. "You should be able to withstand this whipping" Vs, what you are capable with withstanding (mentally) are two very different things, and me, personally, I think it's something that's rather impossible to judge. I mean, everyday will be different. Everyday the lines change. Today, at school, you got bullied by that bitch Lauren, and you come home, wary and vulnerable. How many slaps across the face can you take for doing something by accident. Will it be different if you had a really GREAT day at school? Could you take more? Less? How about what kind of day your parents had? Would a bad day at the office change the intensity of your slaps? Harder, softer? Everytime you raise a hoof to your child, it's a balancing act that is no way, shape, or form "fair"
So lets say you both had a bad day. She can only take seven slaps, because it crushes whatever pillars of strength your daughter is using to hold herself up that day. You had a bad day at work, and she says something. Maybe she drops a plate, and barks out the word "Shit" Well, thats ten slaps across the face. But you had a bad day, so these slaps are harder than normal. You don't mean to do it, it just sort of slips out with all the stress you've been under. But you hit her harder than normal, and she's been doing her best, trying to hang onto whatever strength she has left, and she doesn't -NEED- to deal with this right now. Is that mistake worth a beating? you have absolutely no idea she can only manage to deal with seven hits today, and you go for ten.
Now lets say that devastates her, and you are none the wiser for it. But now she fucking hates you with a passion that only grows every time you hit her again, and again, and even worse when you tell her it's alright for whatever justification you come up with that day. "I'm only doing this because I love you." "This hurts me, more than it does you." Yadda yadda yadda.
How much discipline do you give to your child before it turns into abuse? If you don't think it's abuse, and she does, does it still count? IF your beating your child, when does that little voice in your head tell you to stop. When does it tell you "This is good enough" Do you judge by her screams? If you're not feeling angry anymore? Is there some magical stop watch that immediately lets you know when it's 'enough'
How much is 'enough' for you and for her if it's always changing. How could you possible know? Does the punishment fit the crime? Is 30 licks with the belt too much, or too little for saying shit in the house? How would you know? It's different for everybody.
No, I didn't get a happy ending. I don't think those exist. As much as I hated them, at times, I never thought that sending my mother or father to Social Services would do me any amount of good. It would be a temporary solution to a problem that would only grow larger. Mother would disown me if I ever fingered father. Father would beat me black and blue if I ever fingered mother. You are guilted, or threatened into silence with an alarming frequency sometimes, and sometimes there isn't any happy ending to look forwards to. But it doesn't mean you can't hold onto hope.
MAYBE things will get better. Maybe your family won't have a screaming match today. Maybe it can be lovely, all like it used to be when you were really little and didn't have a care in the world. That's all you want. All you really care about. Just getting back to -that- place, when you were happier. You hold onto that hope fiercely, and it keeps you from doing things, like talking to people or opening up. Maybe you hide your bruises during show and tell, and hope nobody notices, because you know getting your parents in trouble would only make things worse.
The best you can do, is cling to hope that something will change. Even the smallest things to make life livable is enough to focus on. Sometimes, realistically, that's all you have. That's all Diamond gets. A sliver of hope that things will work out. She knows that they won't but now she has friends to help her out that can share her pain. That's the best she can do, and she realizes it, so for her, it is a happy ending. Or perhaps a bad ending with a slightly optimistic tone. Which is better than a lot of people get.
There. Ponies keep asking me on my personal opinion on physical discipline. You more or less must understand I am............aggressively biased in my humble little opinion on the matter. I don't know any other way to end the story. The 'happy' ending doesn't really exist. I was sort of heading towards a fantastical ending of unrealistic optimism. The ending I would have liked to have in my own life. But it doesn't work like that. It would have been great if Spoiled actually -did- turn over a new leaf. If she really did decide she wanted to mend her ways and be a better mother. But that's not likely to happen. All Diamond has to look forward to, is help from her new friends- but that could change the world, if you really think about it.
Is that enough? A slight change to quality of life? Diamond found out her friends were willing to brave the horrors of a fire for her and she's positive they will be with her to the end. That seems like a powerful rewards to me. Just more people to help you through your miserable life. I suppose you might not be able to understand if you've never been to that place that's so dark and bleak, just having one person to share the burden with you makes all the difference in the world.
I guess this feels rushed because I tried something different. I ran out of story to tell when it got to parts of my life that were no longer able to be represented via text in this context. I wanted to end it realistically, but with a underlining message of hopeful optimism, that things could get better. Small hopes better than none. Thats all I had to hang onto. I guess I didn't know exactly how to end it, but having that hope to hang onto, was enough for me to keep marching on. And maybe it'll be enough for Diamond, too.
I have yet to read this, but the second I saw it, I put it in my list. When I do I'd be happy to share my thoughts with you.
It's like one of my favourite segments from the first season of MASH. The set-up is that I-Corps had commissioned a propaganda film about MASH units; towards the end, they had Hawkeye explain
"Three hours ago, this man was in a battle. Two hours ago, we operated on him. He's got a 50-50 chance. We win some, we lose some. That's what it's all about. No promises. No guaranteed survival. No saints in surgical garb. Our willingness, our experience, our technique are not enough. Guns, and bombs, and anti-personnel mines have more power to take life than we have to preserve it. Not a very happy ending for a movie. But then, no war is a movie."
That's pretty much the point of the show, really. We have a lot of people far from home in a place they don't want to be doing a job they wish wasn't needed but they do it anyway because they have to. In this case, there isn't a miracle that's going to make the Riches into decent people so Diamond is basically screwed.
I get this...I also understand why some people might not like it. To that end, in my personal opinion (so feel free to ignore it) the bit about the arson plans being found probably shouldn;t be there if the aim was to have diamonds mother get off scot free. This is mostly cause such plans, even if written drunk are overwelming evidence that she intended to break the law, perhaps even murder two equestrian celebrities/heroines.
No lawyer team would be able to get her off without some prison time or mandatory investigation...hell, given the attacks were planned against two of the element wielders, celestia herself might have gotten involved...and I;d LOVE to see someone try to bribe HER!!!
That said, the story does not deserve hate for the ending, cause, as you said, its a realistic portrayal.
I'm all for a little escapism as long as it's tempered with reality. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Why should our unreality be any different. Whoever said life was fair? They lied to you. And for some life doesn't use lube either.
.... my issue is that you were building up a much larger and longer going conflict and basically knocked it down to an ending that was completely abrupt.
I wish I could do more than extend my sympathies. I enjoyed your story, and knowing that it is drawn from your personal experience made it all the more real. As for it ending too abruptly? I think that a story like this would have to have been 1000 chapters long, and follow Diamond through the rest of her life in order to see how she deals with her mother and what she did to to her. Something like that follows a person throughout their life, even if it been dealt with, it will still leave scars that will only fade, not disappear. Great story, and I hope that you are able to find peace. May your wounds heal, and the scars fade.
In my humble opinion, the ending to the Aftermath is problematic simply because it does not deliver on the promise of the story's opening, to borrow Brandon Sanderson's terminology.
The story starts of with a "promise" of somehow resolving the Diamond Tiara's conflict with her abusive drunken mother - not necessarily in a sense of happy ending, but the reader starting a story would consciously or not expect that conflict to fundamentally change by the end of the story, and this simply does not happen.
By the pre-last chapter we get a very unexpected fire in the Rich house and then... well, then we get essentially nothing. Nothing changes for Diamond and even that is not really clearly stated - perhaps this time it will hold, perhaps it wont, maybe CMC will help her or maybe they too will not be able to protect her... no conflict resolution is given at all, the situation is pretty much the same as at the beginning of the story, so the ending rings hollow and quite disappointing, especially given the interesting opening and great writing style up to that point.
I do not hate the ending though, because as I said in the comments section, the very core idea of the story i a conflict that has no realistic resolution, at least as far as I understand how abusive family work, so the task for the author was impossible to begin with, but that does not preclude readers from still expecting it.
And there are ways to at least shift the conflict - either by destroying Tiara's hope and the micro-independence from her mother from the Crusaders of the Lost Mark and bring her into Despair Horizon, separate the family and show why that is imperfect (or perhaps even perfect, in case of magical ponies that should have excellent child service infrastructure) solution, by maybe giving a "20 years later" Epilogue instead and show how this was a pivotal event in Diamonds growing up and finding inner strength to survive her dysfunctional family or finding friends that supported and gave her reasons to keep fighting... at least that would give a story a sense of completeness and resolution.
3492951 Ahh, but thats the entire point, darling. Sad as it may be, there is no 'happy' ending to a situation like that.
3492955
As I said, the ending does not have to be happy. It just has to be there.
If you write a story, something must change by its' end, the literary structure demands it. It could get worse, it could be a mixed bittersweet ending with good and bad change, but you cannot end a story on the exact same place it started and expect people to be satisfied.
3492956 But it did not stop in the exact same place. Diamond now lives with Silver Spoon, and mother is in rehab. This is a new door opened to the potential of a better life. A door that was not open before this occurred.
3492958
Well, it does say that it has happened before, and is unlikely to hold. If the stories promise, or conflict, was "will Diamond live through next few weeks without breaking" that would be a satisfying, if a bit deus ex machina-y ending. If the story is, insofar as I understand it, about Diamonds change in relationship with her mother due to events of Chronicles of The Lost Mark, then a temporary change due to extraneous circumstances that is bound not to hold, in my opinion does not deliver on the initial promise. Maybe if you would to make it a bit stronger, even if as a wishful thinking for the Tiara it would work...
Sounds like the plot to Mommy Dearest 2 to me.
I really have nothing more to add to what I've said already, aside from the fact I agree with lordofmyth 100%. All the stuff you waffled on about up there is tragic to say the least, and you have my sympathies. But your sad personal life is irrelevant to my enjoyment of this story... which starting out with the promising seed of an idea... But you neglected to water it, so instead of becoming a beautiful flower, it just withered and died. Shame.
Thanks for letting me be the inspiration behind this blog, though. ;)
3493614
Trust me, darling, you give yourself too much credit. You are not, by any means, an inspiration for this blog.
In addition, yes, you don't like it. I understand this. Lots of other people do, so your opinion of the tale, in general, doesn't concern me. I did not write this for your approval.
3493797 I don't mean the content. I am referring to the title.
But, whatever... I have nowt else to contribute towards the debate. Let's hope your next story is a little more... Convoluted.
Rarity, my dear pony
This was a very edgy, painful and touching tale. I have a feeling it was difficult for you to write as much of it was very personal to you. However I want to thank you for sharing it and tell you how much I enjoyed reading every bit of it. I thought every part, especially the end, was very well done and perfectly written! I won't (and can't, right now...too much emotion, sorry!) go into why this story means so much. Just know that you wrote a spectacular tale and I'm so proud of you for sharing it with all of us.
BTW, deadpansnarker is a conceited ass!
Sorry....it just needed to be said. You handled it much better than I might have. You are a true Lady. Sometimes, I'm not much of a gentlepony.
Be safe and be well! You ae wonderful, darling....always remember that!
I have to applaud you for standing true to the ending you wanted to give. I do enjoy myself some sappy happy end, but as someone who went through some rough patches with his mom, I expected it to end more realistically than anything else. I will give a comment on the story later to express my thoughts, but consider me a fan of this work.
This is a beautiful tale, and I am deeply sorry for you. I understand that you wanted a realistic ending, but... here's the thing... this a fantasy cartoon world filled with magical multicolour horses. Things don't need to be realistic.
4148317 Fantasy is best when it's based on reality. situations others can grasp and empathize with, imho