The Best of All Possible Worlds: Luna Story #1 · 8:08am Aug 8th, 2012
OC:
First of all, welcome to all of this story’s new followers. It seems a little ironic that a story I didn’t take at all seriously when I started writing has become the second-most popular thing I’ve ever done. I might even be surprised, if I wasn’t already aware that this sort of thing happens to writers and artists quite often (see Gustav Holst and The Planets, Bob Saget and Full House, Gelett Burgess and “The Purple Cow”...).
Anyway, in this update I hopefully begin to hint why I have been wasting chapters writing about a character who isn’t Voltaire.
Now, since I’m not particularly fond of dissecting this story in my blog entries, I’ll go back to my hobby of pretending that the pony author and human translator of this story actually exist...
IC:
Alright, so this was during Princess Luna’s second goodwill tour of Earth. The translator the U.N. assigned to her for the East Asian leg of the tour came down with stomach flu at the last minute, and then when he had a miraculous recovery he came down with bone-itis, so her long-standing request to have me given the job was reluctantly carried out.
Note to self: Never piss Princess Luna off.
I can’t really say when the Princess and I first met. It was definitely during the First Delegation and possibly involved a huge bowl of over-salted tomato bisque on her part and an equally-huge bottle of Black Pony on my part. We discovered that we shared a contempt for irregular past participles, and with that, something resembling a beautiful friendship was born.
Anyway, we were being driven to another meaningless government function in Beijing when the driver ran up against some new construction, misread a really confusing sign, and got us completely lost. Before you know it, there were choppers and royal guards swarming all over the city’s airspace, although of course taking forever to find us, and in fact eventually coming to the conclusion that our limo was really that of the criminals who had obviously kidnapped us. Meanwhile, Luna and I were in the back of the car, completely unaware of what was going on, and had unplugged our phones so that the Princess could finally finish telling me her story of how Emperor Reznicek had successfully cast an illusion spell on the Princess’ team of crack troops during the first Pony-Dragon war, nearly leading them to take her out at the Emperor’s command.
Luna’s narration continued: “‘Wait,’ Atteler said. ‘The Princess’ mane never looks that good! Unicorns, fire on the so-called Princess!’”
And at that exact moment, a dozen highly-confused Chinese soldiers started shooting at the car!
The two of us crouched down under our seats for a moment (me more successfully than her), and then she turned to me and smiled. “Let me take care of this, and I’ll tell you how it ended,” she said, and then ripped the roof off of the car and sprang onto the roof. She waited until the gunfire had stopped, a few of the bullets loudly ricocheting off of her shield spell.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” she said in perfect Mandarin. “Are you looking for someone in particular to shoot, or is this just a general shoot-things-up holiday?”
And then the rounds of apologies began. The resulting purge was so epic that officials as far away as Paris ended up getting sacked over the mix-up.
And I never did hear the end of Luna’s story.
.... I'm not sure what that just was, but I love it!
I can only say that I dearly wish you would take all these story-blog posts and condense them into a companion story for TBoAPW, so I can then favorite and up-vote them.
It is a grievous crime against your readers to hide such wonderful little side-tales from them in a mere blog. That one describing the mane 6's reaction to the olympics had me metaphorically rolling on the ground with laughter.
Regardless, I await new updates (to the blog and your story) with bated breath.
279429 That thing you mentioned sounds interesting; any chance you know where it's found?
943134
This blog post right here.
943140 Thank you!
276510
I have to agree although I say we need a Charles Dickens to illustrate the flaws, a Voltaire to make a mockery of it and make it sensible, we need a trickster to make the 'kings' into clowns if you get what I mean