Read It Now Reviews #52 – Get Clean!, Inevitable, Doll Judgement, Chronopthisis, Attack of the Mutated Zombie Orc Ninjas · 10:55pm Sep 10th, 2015
24,331 words.
That is the present length of Mistletrapped, whose first draft I have, at long last, completely finished, all the way through the epilogue.
I’m going to be editing it over the next few days, but you should expect the entire rest of that story to be posted somewhere within the space of the next week or so.
But to tide you over, here’s five new stories that I read – and, unlike many of my recent sets of Read It Now reviews, I found multiple things that I gave the green thumb to this week.
Today’s stories:
Get Clean! by ocalhoun
Inevitable by Estee
Doll Judgement by Oroboro
Chronopthisis by DemonBrightSpirit
Attack of the Mutated Zombie Orc Ninjas by Minds Eye
Get Clean!
by ocalhoun
Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
1,772 wordsApplejack has developed an odor. Rarity sets out to remedy the situation, with or without Applejack's consent.
Warning, contains: Non-consensual scrubbing.
Why I added it: Rarity giving Applejack a bath.
Review
Applejack is smelly.
So Rarity gives her a bath.
Forcibly.
This didn’t really do much for me; while Applejack may not be the cleanest of ponies, I didn’t really feel like the story went beyond the obvious “Applejack doesn’t want to take a bath and Rarity doesn’t take no for an answer.”
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Inevitable
by Estee
Comedy
529 wordsTwilight gets an iPad. But there are problems.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Twilight gets an iPad, and has Applejack test it out by checking to see if she can check out periodicals on the device.
Instead, she starts reading… other things.
This is just a very short, very silly feghoot.
Recommendation: Worth reading if you like bad puns.
Doll Judgement
by Oroboro
Dark, Gore, Adventure
6,139 wordsThe Cutie Map calls on Twilight and Rarity in order to investigate the town of Hollow Shades, a gloomy village with a fearful populace and an unsettling fixation on dolls. On top of it all, there's a new leader running the show: a mysterious unicorn known as Lady Mari who protects the town in exchange for their servitude.
For some reason Twilight and Rarity can't shake the feeling that they've seen this all before. But that can't be true—this is just another friendship problem, right?
Why I added it: I liked it in the writeoff.
Review
Twilight and Rarity have been sent to the independent town of Hollow Shades by the map to spread the magic of friendship.
Or so they think.
But once they get to the town and find it full of creepy dolls that seem to be watching them – creepy dolls apparently made by a “Lady Mari” who is watching over the town – they realize that this may go well beyond a mere “friendship problem”, and soon they are fighting for their lives against an evil puppet master.
This is pretty much a pony popcorn flick – this is a story heavy on action, with Twilight and Rarity battling the evil Lady Mari, and much of the story is consumed by their running battle against the puppet master.
If you’re looking for in-depth characterization or deep character motives, there isn’t much to be found here, but if you’re looking for an action flick of a story, you could do worse.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Chronopthisis
by DemonBrightSpirit
Slice of Life
2,263 wordsMany decades ago—perhaps even centuries now—a realization hit me. To this day it haunts my thoughts. Time has us all in its thrall. Though my body may resist its ever-present pestilence, that does not make me immune to the inevitable decay.
I keep these troubling thoughts locked away, hidden where no eye may cast its gaze on them. But that does not mean that they do not exist, or that they do not weigh heavily on my mind. Every so often they come back to plague me, to remind me that even I cannot escape time. All I can do is mitigate the erosion; it's all anypony can do.
Why I added it: DemonBrightSpirit is a good writer.
Review
Celestia contemplates the ennui of eternity.
While there are a billion stories about the ennui of eternity, this is a somewhat interesting take on it as it isn’t actually sad, despite the subject matter; rather, it is more contemplative. Celestia is afraid, to be sure, and is a little bit sad, but it isn’t really about sadness but more the lack thereof. She isn’t afraid of ponies around her dying; she isn’t worn down by their deaths, or the passing of millions.
No, it is just the fact that she’s seen everything – well, many things – and they just don’t sparkle the way they once did. She’s just used to things, and doesn’t get the same thrill of discovery that she once got, oh so long ago. Maybe things are less thrilling, or maybe they’re not, and she is just less thrilled by them – and the latter is what bothers her.
This is an introspective piece, and doesn’t really do much with the introspection beyond have Celestia resolve to talk to Twilight about it, and I don’t really buy that Celestia would feel this way – she seems quite vivacious in the show – but I can’t really fault it too much for that in the end, as it is more of a story focused on expressing an idea. And at that, it was decent, if unexceptional.
Maybe I’ve just seen too many stories like this. 
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you want to read about the ennui of eternity.
Attack of the Mutated Zombie Orc Ninjas
by Minds Eye
Slice of Life
1,670 wordsTwilight Velvet returns home from shopping and has one very important question for her son: why is there a hole in the wall?
Why I added it: Minds Eye is a good writer.
Review
Twilight Velvet comes home after leaving Shining Armor to his own devices for ONE HOUR to find a hole – actually, two holes – punched in the living room wall.
She isn’t angry.
Really. *eye twitch*
She just wants to know why… and how.
This story looks like a fluff piece about foals playing games.
But instead, the story is told from Twilight Velvet’s perspective – and Twilight Velvet is both angry and worried, as a mother might reasonably be after coming home to find a hole in the wall.
Focused on the feeling of an adult realizing that their child is still a child, but is also growing up, and treading the thin line of emotion in parenthood, this was a nice little piece about a parent trying to figure out what to do with their kid who misbehaved, but it wasn’t entirely their fault.
Only, you know, mostly.
On the whole, I thought this was a quite decent piece at expressing Twilight Velvet’s feelings, and I actually rather liked it. It didn’t blow my socks off, but it lent a perspective to a situation that I haven’t really seen very often.
Plus, who doesn’t love stories about little kids blowing holes in walls with their magic?
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Summary
Get Clean! by ocalhoun
Not Recommended
Inevitable by Estee
Worth Reading
Doll Judgement by Oroboro
Worth Reading
Chronopthisis by DemonBrightSpirit
Worth Reading
Attack of the Mutated Zombie Orc Ninjas by Minds Eye
Worth Reading
Four worth readings?
Crazy, I know.
But not as crazy as getting Mistletrapped so close to done.
I look forward to sharing the rest of that story with you folks.
Until then, I hope you find some other things to enjoy!
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 82
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 334
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1654
Can't wait!
And if it wasn't for the silly little changeling thing, I'd have two in a row from you.
Was this a new record?
3383087
Read It Later #18 is the record holder with two recommended stories, one highly recommended story, and two worth readings.
The only thing that beats that one are my recommended story review posts, but those are cheating, seeing as they're all taken from my recommended/highly recommended story lists.
This was in the top 10 in terms of the scarcity of NRs, though.
I notice that you said done, not published. I'm thinking you could easily stretch this out to an ironic mid-December.
And mine isn't one of them!
That's okay, though, I guess. It was just a random story I threw together because I was bored. Never expected it to even get in the feature box.
I'd have to echo the recommendation for Attack of the Mutated Zombie Orc Ninjas, I enjoyed it quite a bit.
A luckier bunch this time.
In other news, Yay! Mistletrapped had progress done!