Dan Vs. Commercials: A Message from Your Friends at FIST! · 1:39am Mar 13th, 2015
Hello, my name is Vice Grip and I'm the founder and CEO of Future Integrations Stable-Tec, or FIST for short.
You're probably already familiar with a variety of our fine products like the CLIPBuck, the Hailstorm Powered Armor Suit, the Hoof Attached Network of Digits System(HANDS) and of course, the fearsome Magic Gear. But FIST is not just about building robots and new technologies to make your lives easier; we're also about preserving nature.
Which is why I want you to know that each can of our freshly-brewed FIST Lemonade(™) is one-hundred percent natural and made with the freshest hoof-picked lemons, mountain spring mineral water, pure cane sugar and sardines. That's right, you won't find any artificial colors, flavors, preservatives or nutrition here. Just the delicious flavor of pulp-free and seedless lemon juice, water and sardines. We believe in simplicity, which is why you'll have that same refreshing taste from start to finish in every can and Caprisun-style juice pouch.
And we here at FIST are also concerned with keeping Equestria clean. That's why our FIST Lemonade(™) is brewed in the safest and cleanest of our Breezy forced labor camps wildlife preserves and then hoof-bottled by orphaned foals forcibly taken from shelters diligent FIST employees. Our commitment to quality is transferred straight from the farm all the way to your local store and it's a quality you can taste.
So, the next time you're at your local market, try a can of our FIST Lemonade(™) for yourself, available for the low price of your freedom two and a half bits. And you can check the ingredients label on the back for our FIST guarantee:
No artificial flavors, colors or preservatives
No gluten
No added sugar or sodium
No refunds
*not for consumption by unicorns/alicorns*
New FIST Lemonade(™) is a natural, freshly-brewed choice for Equestria. Because here at FIST, we believe that natural ingredients and a commitment to quality are a recipe for a sweeter future.
Future Integrations Stable-Tec
We're evil and we care!
Now try new Lightning Claw's Lightning Energy Drink!(Made with strawberry-flavored plasma)
-spits out drink- PLASMA!?
These blogs are certainly a very welcome distraction from my usually monotone, sad or boring feed!
They're informative, funny and interesting! XD
2872095 It's a whole new universe and we're building it piece by piece. With lots of fun facts, silly statistics and scientific details!