an article ya'll should read · 7:13am Jan 25th, 2015
Hi fellas. I'm not dead yet, just eternally lurking.
Anyways, my good buddy regidar recently showed me this article. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's Cracked.com, Cracked is crap, all of that nonsense. But really, this piece has a very important message and a very important point, especially in the face of recent "rape hysteria" that's been going on. It's also likely a useful look into the brain of someone who has gone through such an experience, and might offer a surprising and refreshing point of view. No sob story, no life ruined, just an article that looks at the problem with society and rape through the lenses of someone with some actual goddamn sense.
Here's a more visible link before I spiel.
Now I spiel, because one of the major points of this article is a major point of my life philosophy in general. To me, letting a traumatic experience destroy your life only gives more power to that experience. Letting an illness or the sudden death of someone close to you or, yes, even getting raped before such a life-shattering event that you have no hope of possibly functioning will only give more power to that illness, to that sudden death, or to that rapist. Trauma affects us, but it shouldn't define us. It shouldn't drive us to the point of irrational behaviors or irrational, radical ways of thinking (that's HAMAS radical, not James Joyce radical, ya dig). If you've been through an experience like the author has, I'd recommend taking something very important from what she says, especially at the end. Let yourself forget. Let yourself move on, let yourself grow from it instead of making it the centerpiece of your life.
I'm sure that philosophy won't hold any water underneath a critical eye, and I'll be the first to admit, coming from a history of having a very near-death experience, of having had my last rites said while I was in a coma, that not letting deeply-scarring or deeply-life-effecting events, well, effect you is tough. But there's a difference between letting something effect you and letting something define you. This brave woman made the very brave choice to not let the horrible thing that happened to her be the centerpiece of her life and times. Did it effect her? Most certainly. Deep and traumatic things do that. But she didn't let it define her. She moved on.
Rape is bad, and it shouldn't happen to anyone. But it does happen, and the best thing that we can do is not let it define us, not let it define every interaction we have or every relationship we have. Let the rapist be defined by his crime, and don't give him the power to change your life irrevocably. Naturally, the article is very much about the problems of the burden of proof being on the accuser in a rape case, and about the problems society has in the event of rape, and about the way human nature effects the way people look at these things. But this woman did all that she could to make sure justice was served, and then she moved on. She didn't build a Tumblrcave and go out every night to fight rapists. She did the best thing that she could do, got the result she needed, and then went on with her life. It was a deeply shameful and horrible experience, but short of writing this article, she refused to let it change her. The way she dealt with her experience is wonderfully positive, and in the face of all this recent rape hysteria, with men's rights advocates and tumblrinas in open legal warfare all over the place and trying to seize and re-seize control, I think many of us forget that a vast, silent majority of rape victims just want to be left alone and move on with their lives (and the article does point out that's part of the reason so many rapes go unreported for so long).
so tl;dr: rape is bad and people who rape people are bad, but you shouldn't let a bad experience change you forever. It should compel you and drive you to pursue justice and serve it where do, but justice is not vengeance, and if you're wondering what to do afterwards, try letting go and moving on.
Also if you're a boyfriend/girlfriend/queerfriend don't be a dick and dump a girl cause she got raped cause girls are not butterflies and raped girls are not butterflies with wings pulled off and oh my god did you know (gasp) rape victims can still enjoy sex because they're goddamn people not a mutant subspecies created by violating dicks also it's 1:11 so none of you will see this blog post especially because the latest most dangerous game contest just ended and there's gonna be all of that hype about that aaaaaaaaa
also rumble's reluctance is tagged because me not being able to understand that rape victims can move on is just another reason why that fic sucks donkey balls
Very true blog.
Also:
I love this story.
2745593 it still sucks donkey balls
I think you could wrap up Rumble's Reluctance nicely with the things you read tonight
What the fuck is that article
if anything the legal system is too much in favor of rape victims
people still get convicted with the only evidence being the victim's testimony
2746192 did you even read it or did you nope out at the title
Because it doesn't sound like you read it
2746253 I read it
I might as well just reply to the very end and say while I think choosing not to prosecute is a bad choice because you're going to have to live with an awful secret for the rest of your life and the rapist will be free to just go and possibly rape anyone else he pleases, I think it's admirable that she is able to move on with her life .
Good point made.
2746326 You live
2746192
That's definitely not true.
2750101 Even just the accusation of rape can forever ruin someone's life.
2750127
Probably true, but not relevant to your contention.
2750130 It's actually entirely relevant to what I said. Sentencing based only on a single victim's testimony is completely in favor of the victim.