g · 8:36pm Aug 30th, 2014
Guys and gals... I'm not mentally stable right now. Well, I don't think I have been for a while, now, but today went too far.
I've already contacted a counselor for an appointment tomorrow afternoon. I'm glad the school I go to seems to take these things seriously, so I don't have to wait for a week or something. I shouldn't share this info online, but fuck it. If I tried to share it with my dad, he'd just admit me to a psych hospital and my mom would probably lose her mind. I need to get this off my chest somehow.
I almost attempted vehicular suicide today on my way back from the grocery store. I had my seatbelt unbuckled, had my eyes set on the fucking traffic light pole in the median, and had my foot on the gas. I'd bought a couple of items from the store and set them in the passenger's seat to make it look like I hadn't planned it out beforehand, and even had my phone out with a fake half-finished text to my roommate that said "Hey, you m" on it to make it look like it was all just an accident caused by texting.
Then, some lady driving in a white coupe with a kid in the front seat pulls up in the left turn lane right in front of the pole. She was the only other person in the whole fucking intersection. My light turns green.
Yeah.
I'm going to get help, guys. This bullshit isn't happening again.
I guess I should make this blog post relevant to FimFiction by saying that I'm not going to be continuing Don't Open Your Eyes, Scoot for the time being. Just thinking about writing it is just making everything feel a million times worse. I probably won't be on here that much, either.
Thought I'd just leave you all in the loop and stuff. And I'm sorry for dropping this bomb on people.
~Arwhale
Fuck, I actually posted it.
Feel Better, and I know that is weak sauce but it's all I've got. I'm glad you made an appointment with a counselor , because that's worth more then anything I can say. I like your work, but if you need to take a break from it to help get yourself to a better headspace, take a break.
2414530
Vehicular means that I was going to use a vehicle/car. That's all.
Also, I am sorry for snapping at you in my other comment. That wasn't called for. You just didn't know what it meant.
But really though, I would never "troll" anybody with a blog post on something like this. That would be evil, not funny.
Damn dude, that's pretty messed up, hope you get the help you want!
2414561
You don't have to know what to say, man. I appreciate it, though.
Maybe I should take your advice and write something happy, for once. I dunno.
These kinds of posts always break my heart.
As someone that has always battled depression, I can say, hang in there... it gets better, we all care. I hope you get the help you need as much as I wish i had the right combination of words to help.
2414530 If someone ever post something like this, Even if you think they might be trolling you don't say anything, because if they're not, saying "are you trolling?" is kinda the worst possible response.
2414738 Absolutely. But this fandom also has it's share of people who struggle with depression and it's related struggles, and because we celebrate love and tolerance here, when someone says "I'm hurting" the proper response is "how can I help?" or at least "I hope you feel better". It's never "stop crying for attention".
2414686
Don't feel like you have to say anything else. What you've said already means a lot. Thank you.
I don't know much about depression, tho I recently found out I got Anxiety tho there prob different things, anyways best thing I can say is I hope you get better soon
Hope the appointment goes well. I wish I had seen this sooner. Please, look after yourself
2416578
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
I need to get better at that, you know?
Thanks, KK.
2414599
Just realized that I never replied to you. Sorry about that...
Thought I should say that I really liked the counselor I saw today, and I'm going to be setting up a weekly meeting schedule with him. Glad to say that I think I've found good help.
Thanks for your concerns, man. Have a good one.
well that is great news.