how to lose a follower and hurt a friendship · 12:00am May 29th, 2014
Gather 'round, boys and girls. Let me tell you a sad tale about a boy named Waldo.
Waldo had been through a whole bunch of stuff. I still respect him as a friend enough to keep the exact details on the d-low (dee-lo? de-lo? delo? delow?) but he's been through unimaginable shit that absolutely nobody should go through. He was a nice kid, though. Got good grades, went into the Air Force, all that good shit. But that whole bunch of stuff hurt him bad, still hurts him bad, and he deserves a hug and a cup of coffee for his troubles. Why a cup of joe? Because saying just a hug wasn't enough I guess I dunno. Anyways.
Waldo liked ponies. He wrote stories about them, and they were okay. Not terrific but ranging from readable to fairly decent. But poor Waldo got caught up into a line of thinking that FIMfiction is a competition. And, completely unbeknownst to me and a good many of his followers, Waldo was doing nasty, naughty things in the background to ensure that he would get more attention for his stories.
This is where Waldo becomes Anakin Skywalker. Luckily, FIMfiction is made of sand, and we all know how Anakin feels about sand.
But don't do this. For a variety of reasons.
One, it's dirty, underhanded, absolutely unfair and unsportsmanlike cheating. Writing isn't a competition, but it most certainly has rules, at least as far as this site is concerned.
Two, you will get caught. The mods aren't stupid. They can do stuff like track your IP address iirc. There are ways to find you doing this. They will find you. (thanks RainbowBob.) It's probably legitimately safer to hit a security van full of cash with a semi truck, kill the guards and get away with the loot without getting caught than to try mass upvoting on FIMfiction, because you can clean bills, but unless you're very tech savvy or where is this metaphor going I don't know
Three, you lose the respect of everyone who legitimately followed and supported you. Who legitimately liked you. Who legitimately felt you were worthy of the attention your stories got, and who legitimately believed you to be an honest writer. You lose the respect of all of those friends and all of those followers who wanted to read your stories, because when you mass upvote, you say to your followers that you don't give a fuck about them. You say to them that the number on the side of the screen is more important to them than the things those numbers say. You say to them that that nice little slot in the feature box is worth more to you than the people who truly believe you deserve to be up there. You hurt the feelings of a friend who liked your stuff, because you tell them that your upvote and your opinion is of no consequence to them. All that matters to you, you say, is the quantity, and not the quality, of the attention you get.
And that's the worst thing you can do. Be on a site where the subject is a show about friendship, and then proceed to lie to the faces of all of your friends because you don't value their time or their appreciation as much as you value fucking numbers.
Waldo is still my friend. I still like him. I will still talk to him. But he hurt my feelings. He hurt the feels of everyone who legitimately enjoyed his work. And that's the saddest part of this story.
The moral is
it's quality, not quantity.
There's no reward for getting into the feature box or amassing a huge crowd of followers. The best reward I can think of is seeing you guys commenting on my work. I know I can be a major butthole sometimes, but I want you all to know that I would never break the rules and break your hearts. I like you guys. I want you guys to like me. The last time I flipped out and I got called out on my shit was an educational experience and it was well worth it, because you guys came out and were honest and expressive about what I was doing wrong. I would never do this to you guys, because I value what you guys say, and I look to improve from your responses to the shit I do. I hope my behavior has improved, but I mean, here I am making a shitty blog post, so hey. 
Don't do that alt upvote shit. Please. Don't be greedy, don't get caught, don't hurt the friendships and followings you create. Because at the end of the day, we shouldn't be competing for feature box spots, because the feature box stories tend to blow anyways. We should be here to have a laugh, read a story, and share an honest critique or two. Friendship is Magic and magic is finite, so don't waste the magic you get.
Sorry for the long-winded spiel and stuff, just kinda simmering about this. Have a song for your troubles.
"It's probably legitimately safer to hit a security van full of cash with a semi truck, kill the guards and get away with the loot without getting caught than to try mass upvoting on FIMfiction, because you can clean bills, but unless you're very tech savvy or where is this metaphor going I don't know"
Been playing GTA V again, have we?
2154187
No, been watching HEAT again.
2154211
Oooh, you have good taste!
Just watched literally over half of the heist movies ever made in one weekend a few months ago, so I'm confident in saying heat is the best. Plus, anyone can totally integrate the walking away in 30 seconds quote into their life.
Since someone on here might know, is Waldo perma-banned, or time-out banned? Because that's not cool to do, but I'm going to miss him if he's gone.
2154423
According to Bob, he got two days. Still, the damage this has done to my feelings about him probably won't be undone for much longer than that.
He only got two days for that?
I'm surprised. Usually the consequences are much greater.
2154211
A fine, fine film to watch, too.
That's my li'l badgerfilly! 