Fanfic Reviews – Character Study Edition · 8:35pm May 25th, 2014
Character Studies! Below are those I group in this vague category, containing fics focused around one character, and that above all manage to delve a little into its character’s mind. Most are fairly short, but I doubt that Rarely they are long, falling closer to the short-story side of the length spectrum, and when done right, can reach some pretty great heights.
Below are reviewed:
Happy Ending
The Riddle
Born on a Rock Farm
Drift
Pinnacle
Thy Words…
Elegy of Emptiness
That’s All
As a reminder, scores are in a 10 scale, with 3 representing a mediocre fic.
Bad Horse – Happy Ending – Bad Horse Fic
What if there was something more behind Blueblood’s treatment of Rarity during best night ever?
Bad Horse is a great writer, but I can’t seem to like most of his stories. They are never really terrible or anything as dramatic as that, and maybe his style drives me to be overly critical, but there is always the feeling that, despite his perfect grasp of grammar, pacing, sentence flow, structure, and so on, he rarely manages to put them all in service of a full story. There is always something that makes me wonder “what was he thinking”, completely pulling me out of the experience. In the case of Happy Ending, it requires me to go into spoiler territory.
The point of this story is that its three chapters flow in reverse time order, mostly as a way to recast the future occurrence in a new light the further you read. On its own, that gimmick may sound like a good idea, but the first chapter is little more than a superfluous “previously on”, and the third is more of a Shyamalanian Twist. The story seems to exist mostly as a medium so that twist can be delivered, and while that in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, the twist isn’t properly set-up through theme, or atmosphere, or much of anything. That makes it feel completely disjointed from the rest of the story, like it is there simply to say that the previous situation that sounded good was actually bad. And, considering the title and the author, it is absolutely obvious that the ending would be terribly dark, making it seem like the whole thing is absolutely predictable, but also came from nowhere. This makes the whole time split thing felt gimmicky, and gives the whole thing an air of “cheapness”. Chapter two, when taken on its own, is well writing and interesting, but without a better basis to support it, is also ultimately pointless.
Why it should be read: For a technically well done fic that fails in an interesting way.
Stand-out Moment: The idea that Blueblood mistreated Rarity due to some kind of prophecy is interesting on its own.
5/10
Golden Vision – The Riddle – Character Study
A vision of the life of Twilight Sparkle as seen by Celestia
This is a very strange beast of a fic. To start with, it is well written and feels very genuine. It also progresses at a nice pace, and while slow, it feels very contemplative, matching well the sense of time in the narrative. It is also essentially conflict free, and the ending is about un-cathartic as it gets, but here that doesn’t feel very out of place. I should say that Twilight was well characterized too. It is more or less epistolary, but it tends to start with some grand explanation of just how long it was since the last letter, and that broke immersion. Those thoughts may seem a tad disjointed since, despite it being a nice fic in other aspects, I have no idea what is its point.
To start with, the titular riddle offers no clues. It is spelled out in the end, and felt cheesy and empty in a way I am sure wasn’t intended. Beyond that, is it a story about love and relationships in its many forms? It feels like that up to a certain point, showing Twilight progressing in love and friendship through life. However, that never amounts to anything. In her relationship with Rarity, her significant other is irrelevant, and her friends are presented as roles rather than individuals. Indeed, the only two characters that feel real in the whole thing are Twilight and Celestia. Since Celestia is the focus, it would be sensible to think that she would be affected by Twilight’s life and insights… but she isn’t, to the point that it starts showing a certain callousness on her side. But that also doesn’t make much sense. It is stated at one point that Celestia would have gone mad long ago without Luna and Twi. Then, shouldn’t the 1000 years without both have driven her mad? Is that the point, that she was insane and Twilight pulled her out? If the point is that this is why she takes students, why focus on Twilight, and make other students little more than an addendum? In the end, when she just takes another student, it feels like she is just going through the motions. Then, was all she said about Twilight being special a lie?
I could certainly go on this line of thought, but suffice to say, unless I am completely blind to some deeper meaning, this lack of an overall theme made me feel like I was reading a fic with multiple disjointed parts. In the end, it is a thought provoking story, but the lack of an overarching theme really hurted this one.
Why it should be read: A nice view of a well lived life, and a thought provoking narrative.
Stand-out Moment: The way the fic uses Celestia’s actions as scene transitions.
6.5/10
Aragon – Born on a Rock Farm – Music Biopic
The life and tribulations of Inkie Pie, the greatest rock musician that has ever lived.
This is a fic that alternates between being very smart, and being very, very stupid. It has its moments of great insight, such as how her followers keep up with her travels, but at the same time is chock full of the most cheesy, purple, “angsty teenager poetry diary”-worthy sentences you could imagine. Things like “She would not give up pain, because it was already a part of her,” or “Inkie did not know about empathy, but she knew about pain” make my blood boil, putting this fic very far away from my comfort zone.
In fact, this is a very adolescent tale. All of Inkie’s actions are immature and rebellious, with all her choices acting to contradict some societal norm, such as being safe, taking steps to counteract her, or being alive. However, those are attributes the fic considers very positive, and part of why she is important. One instance that really stood out in this regard is how her father sees her as an adult when she chooses the instrument that would bring her the most hardship. This makes considering her as a very influential pony an extremely difficult prospect, given how shallow the character is, and how sheltered her life was. Her age is also very inconsistent, given how her travels seem to take place in maybe one or two years, but then in turn she complains about the years not being kind to her. One of those world-weary young adults I suppose? Maybe it is some kind of fine irony I was missing, but then I should say the author committed to this way too much.
That alone would make for a frustrating read, but the fic does one great mistake that really took me out of the story more than my previous issues ever could: most of its key emotional moments have nothing to do with music. For a story so devoted to a character expressing herself through music, it surely avoids using any kind of musical metaphor for that purpose. The chapter with Luna is particularly representative of that, with Luna recognizing a kindred soul in Inky, but music being a footnote to that conversation.
I should say that, personally, I do take issue with the kind of person that Inkie is (and I have known a few), and this certainly colored my views of the fic negatively, as well as enhances the level of snark of this review. Still, it is well written, and when it focus on the music, it reaches something more. Sadly, those moments are few and far between, but they do save the narrative from being absolutely dreadful.
Why it should be read: For the few moments of genuine inspiration.
Stand-out Moment: How her fans would follow her red hoofsteps to find where she would be playing really stuck with me. The fic really needed more of that.
3/10
Pen Stroke – Drift – Future Speculation
Twilight Sparkle feels herself drift from her friends.
What is it about Pen Stroke fics and editing issues? I am sure he works hard on them, that he gets competent editors, but they are abundant enough to break immersion, and always make me feel like it could use a few more passes. I guess that is pretty representative of the fic as a whole, where you find some nice things, like just how well Twilight is characterized, but then gets bogged down by the holes in the rest of the story.
Inconsistency kills me, and this is my main issue about this story. For a particularly sore point in this regard, see the relationship of the rest of the Mane 6 with their husbands. Despite they all being stated as married with kids, and just how important this is for the story, their husbands aren’t a factor in the fic, not even a presence, to the point that they have to take their children to their get-together, not in a “hey, check them out before we go”, but in a “I really couldn’t find someone to watch them” kind of way.
The concept that you will drift apart from your friends also feels hokey, and is one that I kinda disagree with. In my experience, the only friends I really lost contact with are the ones I didn’t mind to – those acquaintances of convenience, or people you mingle with due to a common circumstance. All my other friendships only grew stronger with distance, an effect I have seem replicated in most of my older relatives, whom still keep those important childhood friends to this day. In fact, even the fic agrees with this, with Twilight keeping contact with her friends, only in different ways – making the whole theme of the drift essentially pointless, with the fic pointing in one direction but doing a completely different thing. The way it is presented feels terribly half-baked, but it isn’t that bad overall, with some individually nice things. In fact, that is a good summation of the fic as a whole.
Why it should be read: There is some nice characterization of a grown Twilight.
Stand-out Moment: A little aside about the uncertainty of Fluttershy and Discord having a relationship was particularly clever.
3.5/10
CoolStoryBrony – Pinnacle – Character Study
Rainbow Dash, captain of the Wonderbolts, reflects on her goals in life.
The core theme here is that you always have a place to go from the top, even if it is back to where you came from. I like how it doesn’t frame it as necessarily bad or good, just as a natural decision with advantages and fallbacks. For that, it uses the more stable Applejack to great effect, but doesn't try to shoehorn some big tragedy or shipping as her reason to return. It also manages to use an old, tired parable in a contrived, yet effective way, but does so to good effect.
It is a fic with a message, and it isn't preachy about it, something I certainly admire, and believe people should do more. Of course, it assumes much of the groundwork that leads to the decision exists is in the reader’s head, and while that works, I guess it could have made something more with the concept. In that, as a fragment of a larger story, it works, but feels lacking in some regards, especially in the larger picture of why Rainbow Dash would be tired of the bolts, or what kind of repercussions such a decision would have. In the end, it manages to dodge most landmines, and reaches a good and effective ending.
Why it should be read: Nice grounded view of a future Rainbow Dash.
Stand-out Moment: The imagery in the end.
7,5/10
Lady Grey – Thy Words… – Character Study
Twilight has tea with Princess Luna.
This fic works in a nice comparison of the change and transience of Social Norms, coupled with a view of Luna’s age delivered well with the help of some pretty clever wordplay. However, I found it a little too unsubstantial, with many things were merely set-up, without much in the way of pay off. Characterizations were nice, but those character traits were merely incidental, again due to the lack of substance of the rest of the fic, or superficiality of what is there. I think I enjoyed the beginning a lot more than the later stuff, and it colored my perceptions.
Why it should be read: For a great characterization and positioning of Luna on modern society.
Stand-out Moment: The contrast between You x Thou started off pretty confusing, which made the realization very impactful, a great mirror to Twilight’s own.
6,5/10
Bad_Seed_72 – Elegy of Emptiness – Deceptive Sad Fic
Vinyl Scratch reflects upon losing a friend.
This fic is extremely deceptive. It starts off looking for all the world as a cliched story about Vinyl Scratch being extremely depressed about losing her childhood friend, Octavia, for some unexplained reason. There are long walks in the rain, massive amounts of alcohol, reminiscing about the past and what could have been… but no. This is much better than that, and by the end, it pulls off an excellent thematic twist. Paying attention to the introductory quote is really important in that regard, and I am glad it is there as something more than a cheap gimmick. Indeed, this is a great example of a well used twist, recasting all that happened before in a new, interesting light.
This fic also deals very well with all it proposes to tackle. Alcohol is an important part of the story, and is very well used and dealt with. Vinyl is, in a way, a high-functioning alcoholic, and the conflict derives from that, of how she lets that part of her take over. The way she goes to buy liquor out of habit rather than necessity highlights very well the difference between what she wishes for, and what is expected of her. That ties back to the the friendship angle, with an excellent portrayal of friendship between two young adults. It has a powerful message, and while it certainly doesn’t fit the show’s tone, it certainly fits its values, with a great message about acceptance, forgiveness, and owning your mistakes.
However, as much as the ending redeems it on my mind, I can’t ignore how the first half is little more than a generic sad fic. The final effect was great, but it could be a little more self-aware of just how angsty it is, and that made getting through it was a slog. Despite that, this is great ponyfic, and a great reading experience overall.
Why it should be read: For a fic that uses the theme of friendship very well, and in an ample sense.
Stand-out Moment: I can’t stress enough how good the ending was. It was cute and cathartic in equal measures, and I love it for that.
9/10
Archmage Ludicrous – That’s All – Slice of Life
Pinkie Pie tries to save Applejack’s hat.
N.B.: Since it is so short, expect full spoilers below. At any rate, there isn’t much to be spoiled, and no good reasons not to go read this.
This might just be the most perfectly written Pinkie Pie ever. This is a well layered, simply paced story about all that is Pinkie Pie. It achieves this by using her inner thought process as an unreliable narrator, marking well the contrast between the story playing in Pinkie’s head, with her respect for Applejack’s hat and how she sees the world, and the one revealed by her actions and speech.That is exemplified perfectly in Pinkie’s last thoughts about how AJ not caring about her hat is just “Applejack, being Applejack”.
There are many themes at play, seen either in how Pinkie sees AJ’s family, how she reacts to her friends, her insecurities and fears, how their bond is equally strong but focuses in different things… it is a thing of beauty, and only gets better the more you read into it. It is one of those subtle and wonderful fics, deep and short, and the closest thing I can compare it to is “The wrong fork”, about as high praise as I can give.
Why it should be read: For a wonderful exploration of Pinkie Pie’s character.
Stand out moment: When asked why she is crying over the hat, Pinkie answer that it is because it “taste funny”, the only way she can encapsulate all she understood from its taste.
10/10
And there you go! To be honest, this kind of fic are my favourite to review. Their flaws and virtues tend to be very open, and things simply flow. They also tend to be deceptively deep, always a good thing while reading. Not all are explicitly about a character, but I feel that their specific genres tend to serve to further the more specific character.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Next-up, are some fics focused on World Building.
And that's how I never doubted your opinion ever again. :D
Oh hey, I didn't see this review when it came out!
A shame you didn't like my story, though. Then again, something in the review worries me:
Goddammit, I was going for the exact opposite. I wanted to write Inkie as somepony who's rebelious and immature as hell, and for that to be a very bad thing. Like, it's her biggest flaw. If I messed up showing that, then I gotta work better on my artsy stuff. Hmm.
Uh. Never even thought about this issue, to be honest.
About the angsty-teenagerish feeling... Meh, the moment I started it, and seeing how angsty it was, I knew it was going to be kind of emo, so I downplayed it whenever I could and just had fun with it when I couldn't. (Plus, I'm technically a teenager, so there's that). A shame you didn't like it, but we can't please everybody. Thanks for the review!
Eh. It's a fair cop.