MWhat They Hope to Find
Equestria Girls
Romance
Drama
Sad
After Applejack's hopes of being with Fluttershy are dashed, Sunset Shimmer finally acts on her attraction for her. It gets a little messy from there.
Narcotics
Sex
Suicide / Self Harm
Profanity
Alt. Universe
OC
Sunset Shimmer
Applejack (EqG)
Main 7 (EqG)
Nines · 88k words · 615 views

35 · 2:03pm Dec 8th, 2023

It was my birthday yesterday! I'd meant to post the day of, but honestly, I was so tired and busy I just didn't have much time or energy to sit at my computer. Wanna hear a funny story or two, plus see the new playlist I made for Sassaflash? Get it after the jump!

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So yeah yeah yeah, yesterday was my birthday, blah blah blah— look the truly interesting story was the day before when I realized maybe I need a chaperone.

I nearly burned my face off with a fireball. A FIREBALL.

I was trying to fry something in the pan (pupusas if you're curious. They're basically cheese-stuffed tortillas, but...not a quesadilla, lol) and the instructions called for the pan to heat up to 425 degrees (F). I guess the pan I was using wasn't meant for high-heat cooking, so the thing started smoking. Whatever, I say. I turn on the stove fan and grab the olive oil. If you don't know, like I didn't know, olive oil isn't meant for high temp cooking. I put a bit in the pan and whoosh. The whole thing lights on fire. Not a little fire, either, it's like 10-inch flames.

Alarmed, I grab the pan and sort of just...stand with it in the kitchen. I stand there for like 30 seconds just staring at this mini inferno, hoping vainly that it'll go out by itself, and also trying to brainstorm how to safely put it out if it doesn't. After a while, I shrug. Whatever, I say. (You see a pattern, here?) I go to the sink and blast the flames with water.

So another thing I learned that day is that adding water to an oil fire creates combustion. Guys. I cannot underscore enough the freaking size of this fireball. I could feel the heat on my face. It rose up three feet over my head and licked the popcorn ceiling. (We live in a trailer, so there is a low ceiling. But still!) The pan continued to sizzle for a bit after the flames had gone, and I just stood there holding the pan under the water, leaning back with wide eyes. The wall behind the sink was black from the flames. The ceiling was lightly charred. No real serious damage, though, thankfully. I could wipe away the smoke/flame damage on most of the wall. What's left can be covered with paint.

You'd think that'd be the only shenanigans I experienced that day. Nope!

So that evening my home was a little rowdy. The kids were all hyped up from playing with each other. Dad had just come home so they were even more excited about that. There I was just trying to peacefully watch a YouTube vid about Doctor Who. My 9yo son gets snippy with me about something related to school. I get irritated as I go to assist him with something. As I'm coming back down the hallway, I bite back a growl at the sight of his snow boots in the middle of the hallway. Son and Husband are always leaving their shoes out for everybody to step around because they hate dealing with the shoe rack. It honestly was a POS, so sure, I get that, shoes were always falling off of the rack because it was some cheap crap I'd bought from Walmart. But these boots clearly hadn't fallen off the rack, they were just out.

During the black Friday sales, I'd bought a new shoe rack. It was sturdier, and it even had a shelf that could fit boots. I'd asked my husband to put it together a few days ago, but he's been tired from work a lot. No big deal. But that night I just snapped. That new rack was getting assembled now. I think it was just the combination of overstimulation that evening from all the noise followed by the frustration with my son that made the boots in the hallway the straw that broke the camel's back. I grabbed a knife, grabbed the box with the shoe rack, and just started wildly cutting.

I stabbed myself in the arm half an inch deep.

It took a beat for it to register that the blade tip was in my arm and not moving. It didn't sting immediately. It mostly felt like something socked my arm. It hit the underside, to the left (where my pinkie is), and just managed to miss my major artery or any significant nerves. I didn't lose feeling in my fingers and I could move my hand okay. Pulling the knife out, I ran and put the wound under running water. I was dismayed to see my arm fat peeking from a cut that was about 2mm wide and around 3-4mm long. My husband is fussing over me while I'm trying not to cry. Of course, I have to run and tell my friends what a walking hazard I am. I wondered if I needed to go in for stitches, but I reasoned the puncture wound was pretty small, so I didn't go to the ER. It really didn't hurt too bad at first. My arm was mostly smarting from the force of my jabbing the blade into my flesh. (Small comfort. My tensed muscle probably stopped it from going in deeper.)

Later though, it REALLY hurt. My muscle ached and ached. Moving it sucked a lot. Couple that with a nasty cough and a mind hyped up from arguing with bronies on FB about whether or not G5's timeline makes sense, and I stayed up past 1 am. I was pretty tired when I woke up, freshly turned 35. My arm still hurt. My BFF urged me in a text to get my wound looked at. I called a triage nurse and explained what happened and how the wound looked. She advised me to get it checked. I did not want to go to the ER for my birthday, but there I was, lol.

It took about an hour and a half for them to tell me it looked fine and I didn't need stitches. I drove back home grumbling. Not the best birthday morning, that's for sure. I tried doing a few dishes when I got home but that sucked, the pain was still too sharp, so I stopped. In the afternoon I went to a Christmas school performance that my son and his class were putting on. He came home early and we hung out while my baby girl took a late nap. The day improved from there. My husband brought home this amazing food from a Thai restaurant. I had spicy duck and stuffed chicken wings with peanut sauce. For dessert, we had ice cream Oreo cake. My husband and I watched Star Trek Lower Decks, then went to bed. My arm hurt less by then. (It doesn't hurt at all now! The wound just itches.) So my birthday didn't start great, but it ended well! (Tangentially related, but did you guys know that Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks had a crossover episode?! It was great!)

Image from this Screen Rant article.

I did manage to squeeze in some editing for What They Hope to Find's next chapter. Because typing felt miserable I didn't do a ton at my computer yesterday. Most of my editing was on my phone, which is my least favorite way to do it, but I was fiending for a chance to work. I've been tweeting my updates occasionally on Twitter. I mentioned being hopeful I'd get WTHtF's sixth chapter out by this weekend, but it was going to be tight. I've also been helping some folks out with their writing, whether editing or just workshopping ideas. If I can't get the next chapter out by this weekend, expect it by the middle of next week, at the latest. That feels doable.

This next chapter focuses on Sunset and Applejack at blues night, as I've mentioned several times before in other blog posts. I thought I had a complete draft ready for final edits, but to my chagrin, I realized that I probably needed to add a scene before I wrapped it up. Either that or find a better stopping point earlier in the chapter (which means a shorter chapter, but honestly, I've been putting out some phat updates.) Following this, chapter 7 may be the last chapter before readers will have to cut to WTEtG for the full picture of what goes on that night. Minor spoilers, but let's just say that all the girls are gonna be meeting up again that same night for... reasons. I stated a million years ago that whenever major plot stuff is happening, Sunset and Applejack will be yoinked back into WTEtG, upon which they may later discuss the details/aftermath together in WTHtF. I'll try to make it clear on both ends where the stories connect, but if you don't read both sides you'll be missing context. Just a fair warning.

After WTHtF I've been really trying to think about what I'll work on next. I know there are plenty of you clamoring for What They Expect to Give to continue. But I've been thinking... it's been YEARS since I've updated Her Collar, Her Love. That literally hasn't been touched since 2018. After chatting about ideas with a friend, I may finally have a way forward with that story. I'm not saying that's my official verdict yet, but I'm leaning towards it. The only thing holding me back from being 100% sure is how challenging HCHL is to write. It just takes a bit more effort to whip up all that flowery purple prose it calls for. Worst case scenario, I'll at least have a draft started this month!

My Jinglemas fic is entering the final stages of editing. I really need to figure out some cover art for it. I'd commission something, but I already blew my spending money on a commission for some Sunset/Applejack fan art. Maybe I could try and draw a quick sketch? It'd probably be garbage tho. Below is some art from the artist I commissioned! She goes by peachmichea. (Does this prove that I don't hate G5? I actually like Misty!)

Art by peachmichea

Earlier this week I was sick and that slowed my writing/editing progress across the board. I also got my Covid shot while sick because I didn't want to reschedule a new appointment, so that made it worse, lol. I was better by Wednesday, but then I injured myself and extended my downtime. Yay! While I was taking a break from any earnest project work, I spent a bunch of time tweaking this playlist for Sassaflash that I made whilst writing her first POV scene in WTEtG.

Here it is! Unlike the other playlists I've made for Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Sunset/Applejack (all three of which I updated recently with new songs, btw!) I recommend listening to this with shuffle turned off first. The start of the playlist covers Sassaflash's relationship (and its swift turbulent end) with Caramel. Then it transitions to a "fuck men, on my terms, I'm horny but I'm here just for fun" kinda vibes. What it's like for her being on the rebound, basically. Then it starts getting into songs that explores her evolving sexual identity. Yes, I purposefully put songs titled "Boys" and "Girls" next to each other, lol. After that we cover songs that kinda demonstrates Sassaflash's resilience, her determination to overcome odds, to be a winner, and her willingness to throw hands. I added The Offspring's "Original Prankster" too, because... Well, look, if you've read WTEtG, that one should just be obvious.

Following the mischievous themes are some happy-go-lucky and somewhat silly songs (Le Tigre's "Deceptacon", Sleigh Bells "Kids", and The Bangles "Walk Like an Egyptian" - the latter dovetailing with Sass' interest in Ancient Egyptian history). After that we get into some songs that covers Sassaflash's outlook on life. Her dedication to her friends. Her general positivity. Katy Perry's "Electric" and Coldplay's "Adventure of a Lifetime" are a callback to the themes of inner strength and overcoming obstacles earlier in the list, but with a much brighter, positive take on it. I like ending her playlist on a high note.

I listened to an earlier iteration of this playlist whilst writing Sassaflash's POV scene in WTEtG ch36. I really enjoyed writing her. I tried not to go over the top with the mischievous tone (I have been known to do that in the past) but I did want Sass' section to feel distinctly different from the other perspectives we've seen in WTEtG. She's full of vitality, she's got a strong sense of humor, and she's sassy (of course) but I also wanted to kinda show more of the intelligence she hides beneath her mischief. It was also a nice chance to get into her relationship with Spitfire and why they're close buds. This won't be the last time we see things from Sassaflash's perspective, either! The new story arc for WTEtG will be pretty fun.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been watching Sailor Moon Crystal on Netflix. I've never watched Sailor Moon before, so this is all pretty new to me. Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask's romance is really, really annoying and I hate it, but I love everything else about the show! I like how cheesy and earnest it is, and the feminine style is really charming. Sailor Jupiter is my favorite, because I like my girls tall and tough I guess? Sailor Moon is being featured in Vogue Japan! The original creator made some new artwork to go along with her interview and it looks amazing.