Everfree and Revisions

It's just under a week away and I cannot wait, so I figured a reminder post about Everfree Northwest would be a good idea.

First, I will be at the convention, flying in next Wednesday and staying until the Monday after. Second, a copy of my series "A Fleeting Light in the Darkness" will be available at Twilight's Book Nook in the vendor hall, alongside over 70 other books! You can find all of the books available in this catalog. I am also in an anthology at the bookstore, with my story "A Whisper From the Void" being in "The Dark Between the Stars," along with stories from a lot of other great authors from Quills and Sofas, a speedwriting group.

I will be at the Book Nook a few times throughout the con to sign copies, the schedule of which will be posted at the booth. I'll also be on a panel with the other Book Nook authors in attendance. Even though it's a group Q&A sort of thing, it feels really weird to say I'm going to be on a panel for the first time. Honestly, the whole convention has me very nervouscited.

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Outside of the convention excitement, I do have a question for you all. In order to get the entirety of "A Fleeting Light in the Darkness" printed, I made a lot of changes. Some of these were formatting based, things I could do in print but not on Fimfiction. However, there were also some grammatical and word choice changes that I made to make the stories, I hope, more readable.

I would like to update the Fimfiction versions within the next week or so to reflect these changes, but I'm curious if anyone would be against me changing the stories from how they were published. Obviously I have made minor corrections before, but some of these do go beyond that. Let me know if you have any thoughts.

Comments

[Mr cold ghost]

So it’s just it’s mostly grammar changes and the story is largely intact?

[Mr cold ghost]

I feel that the original stories should be unaltered here on the site.

[Sugar Spoon]

Do you believe that the changes better the stories as a whole? If so you should definitely use the revisions. I have the originals on my kindle anyway.

[FloydienSlip]

I believe the original stories should remain as they were published on Fimfiction. I'm not totally opposed to it, per se, but it would depend on the scope of the changes.

[Drake the Ponydragon]

I support the edits in fimfiction, so everyone can read revised version. But I also would like if general readers also be able to read original versions as well somehow, if they will. So, maybe archieving original versions somewhere in google drive with public link for example is fine.

And good luck with convention!

[Flashgen]

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To give an idea of the changes, here's an excerpt from both versions:

FiMFic:

April 14th

It was uneventful until midnight. I was with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, along with one of the investigators from Canterlot, named Sugarcane. I was trying to get something out of him, about what’s going on with the investigation or if they had any leads about who or what was behind it, but he didn’t want to talk much.

Applejack and Dash tried to assure me that things would be alright, and to trust in the investigators, but I wasn’t convinced. That’s when a scream came from a few streets away. We rushed towards it as quickly as we could, and arrived at the same time as two other patrols. There was only one guard, a broken lantern, and no sign of the others that were with him. He didn’t even seem injured, just frozen in fear. Sugarcane and the other investigators were asking him what happened, while one of the other guards rushed off towards the hospital. Everyone that had stayed inside was turning on their lights and trying to get a look outside to find out what had happened.

The guards tried to keep curious ponies away and tell them to go back to bed, but the guard that was attacked just started rambling. He said they saw something, just in the dark of an alleyway. It didn’t look anything like a pony, and it was staring at them for a few moments while another guard with their lantern moved closer. He said it screeched so loudly that his ears were ringing, that it sounded like a train screeching to a halt, and it lunged out of the alleyway at them, knocking the lantern away. He said the others were gone in a moment, before they could even scream, and then it just sat there, staring at him. He just kept shaking and screaming about hearing it whisper to him.

A few nurses from the hospital arrived, and they took the guard off. The investigators were talking in private, trying to decide what to do, but they eventually told everyone to go back to their homes. I offered to let Dash and Applejack stay at the library with the others and I, but Applejack said she’d be fine at Sweet Apple Acres, and Dash insisted she was fine on her own, even though I could tell she was a little spooked.

I don’t know if I should keep writing about this, but if all of this stops, someone has to know, just in case whatever it is happens again.

Book:

April 14^th

It was uneventful until midnight. I was with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, along with one of the investigators from Canterlot, Sugarcane. I was trying to get something out of her, about what’s going on with the investigation or if they had any leads about who—or what—was behind it, but she didn’t seem interested in talking.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash tried to assure me that things would be alright, to trust in the investigators, but I wasn’t convinced. That’s when a scream came from a few streets over. We rushed towards it as quickly as we could, arriving at the same time as two other patrols. There was only one guard, a broken lantern, and no sign of the others that were with him. He didn’t even look injured, just frozen in fear. Sugarcane and the other investigators asked him what happened, while one of the other guards rushed off towards the hospital. Everyone that had stayed inside was turning on their lights and trying to get a look at what happened.

The guards kept curious ponies away and told them to go back to bed, but the guard that was attacked started rambling. He said they saw something in the dark of an alleyway. It didn’t look anything like a pony, and it stared at them while another guard with a lantern moved closer. Then it screeched so loudly that his ears rang; he said it sounded like a train screeching to a halt. Finally, it lunged at them, knocking the lantern away. The others vanished in the blink of an eye, before they could even scream, and then it stood there, staring at him. When Sugarcane tried to approach the guard, he started screaming about hearing it whisper to him.

Two nurses from the hospital arrived and they took the guard away. The investigators were talking in private, trying to decide what to do, but they eventually told everyone to go back to their homes. I offered to let Dash and Applejack stay at the library with the us, but Applejack said she’d be fine at Sweet Apple Acres and Dash insisted she could handle herself, even though I could tell she was spooked.

I don’t know if I should keep writing about this, but if all of this stops, someone has to know, just in case whatever it is happens again.

Outside of the gender change here, because I wanted to finally get that straight in all the stories, it's mostly things that rework grammar to be more readable, less repetitive, and in some cases match the author/speaker's voice more.

[yourconsentingmind]

Personally I think editing the stories while making archives of the original is a good idea. So anyone who'd like to see the original drafts can view them, and we can all experience the enhanced versions. I look forward to it.