Friendship is Card Games: Missing the Mark · 11:34am Jul 23rd, 2023
And so we come to the end of Chapter 4. Let’s see how they close it out… and how badly they needed a beta reader.
No. No. After all of the cat-and-mouse interplay, surely they wouldn’t have Misty finally grab Sparky offscreen without explanation.
Incredible. It’s the setup of “To Where and Back Again” all over again, except this time it was entirely avoidable. All they had to do was somehow, some way work in Misty grabbing Sparky at the end of the previous episode.
Also, Sparky is going along with the dragonnapping this time because the plot says so. (And possibly because Misty did more to integrate herself into the group, but we’ve barely seen any textual support to that end.)
Where is Misty keeping Sparky in that cloak, anyway? I know they’ve been very liberal with hammerspace in this generation, but it’s especially egregious here. Also, for all of her hesitation and longing sighs, this mare is still effectively willing to eat a baby (or at least feed one to a monster) for personal gain.
Also also, what’s Hitch doing right now? Has he relapsed into judge, jury, and we-can’t-execute-ponies-this-is-a-kids’-show?
I do love the grim first scene into cheery theme song juxtaposition.
So has Hitch flat-out sold his house, or did the animation budget not cover it? Folks, if you’re not willing to commit to the bit, don’t write a joke about him having a paid-off mortgage.
Also, if I had a nickel for every time Misty abducted Sparky in the middle of the night while Hitch was asleep, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s a sign of very lazy writing. Change your locks, Sheriff.
Et tu, Kenneth? Just how much of of the Maretime Bay police force lives in this station?
Hitch’s walk cycle when entering the Brighthouse feels a little janky—like they took the usual one and just sped it up—but that honestly works in this situation. Does a good job of communicating his anxiety… while still looking janky.
I do appreciate Izzy knocking over her current project to greet a friend. All art is transitory, some works more than others.
Hitch’s expression at “He’s wandered off again, like he does” is fantastic. Really says “I would throttle that little bastard if I didn’t love him so much.” Truly the essence of parenthood.
… and, in order to write that, I managed to pause on this. Truly, unicorns are a people of grace and elegance.
Ah. At least Hitch recognizes that they’ve done this plot before. As do the others. Honestly, credit to them for trying what worked last time. I rarely see that kind of logical approach… though that’s partially because I rarely see this kind of barely tweaked narrative retread.
Sparky could genuinely be acting cuter on purpose. Misty brought him somewhere new and interesting and partially on fire. He just doesn’t know why she brought him here; if he did, he’d be doing everything he could to get out… though the belch does accomplish just that.
Also, congratulations, Misty. You barely scraped by on the test of character. Too bad you already passed the point of no return.
Hold the phone. Hold the entire telecom network. Is that the Lockbox of Harmony in Opaline’s study? That’s not just a cute last-gen Easter egg, that raises a mountain of questions. (And it justifies my alternate timeline hypothesis. Yes, the animators probably didn’t think about the implications. I’m happy to do it for them. 
)
Credit where it’s due, that’s some quality work with the visceral, visual horror of Sparky getting drained.
“I’ve learned my lesson from last time.”
Of course. The only time a lesson takes for the first time, it’s when it doesn’t apply. 
“I will possess my full enhanced fire powers!”
Do you want what you had, or do you want them enhanced? Words mean things, Opaline.
Also, I can’t help but see the glowing carvings of the Dragonstone as a progress bar.
There are two parts to this ritual, Misty. Feel free to disrupt the Dragonstone. (Not that she knows what to do with it, but at least she can reach it.)
Ugh. Misty’s gallop cycle did not sync well with the ramp or the door. You know it’s bad when something done entirely in CG looks clumsily greenscreened.
Also, it’s a good thing this energy drain takes long enough to fit in a round trip to Maretime Bay. I have to wonder if Opaline deliberately set it to low and slow so she had time to prepare herself and the lair.
“‘Now I’m not saying I’m nervous…’ [chuckling nervously]”
Ooh, I do love it when the subtitles can sneak in a joke.
I do like the use of Sparky Snacks as a tracking method, and the idea that he keeps gravitating back to that tree. Sure would’ve been nice to see that in action…
Strictly speaking, Misty did see somepony dragonnap Sparky. Kind of hard to not spot yourself.
I was about to praise Zipp for not interrogating Misty when time was of the essence. Then we got to the Marestream. Time and place, princess.
Oof. Just stab her, Sunny, it’ll be quicker.
It does feel weird to see the main cast at Opaline’s castle. It’s like if the Aqua Teen Hunger Force actually went to Dr. Weird’s lair.
Also, did ponies just… never go in the direction of the perpetual storm before now? Going by the idea of Twilight putting a shield over those three towns, it’s possible that there was a mental/cultural limit in ponies’ minds, a video game-style invisible wall that existed only in the collective consciousness. It’d certainly explain why Equestria is so barren. (Yes, I’m trying to justify lazy writing, but I need to do something with it.)
Anyone else concerned by Pipp appreciating Opaline’s decor? I can only hope the sisters will regulate one another when they inherit the throne.
I legitimately can’t tell whether Opaline sincerely thinks Misty brought in Sunny and company just to betray them, or if she’s poisoning the well to cut off any possibility of betraying her.
There’s also the question of “If cutie marks are the source of pony magic, why does cooperation between the tribes matter so much?” There could be multiple factors at work, Opaline could just be wrong… or the writers aren’t even trying to keep the world building straight. But again, I want to try to make something comprehensible out of this mess.
Oh, Opaline. Always dangling the carrot out in front of your minion to get her to go just a little further…
Surprisingly elastic barrier. Also, feel free to join in stress testing it, everypony. I can understand the emotional shock of Misty’s sudden yet inevitable betrayal, but doing something is preferable to just shutting down. Granted, they may have been doing that earlier and Izzy’s the only one who’s still going… but then there’s the literal alicorn in the room. Sunny really is following in Twilight’s hoofsteps, at least in terms of the moment of horrible doubt before rallying herself to be a big dang hero.
“We can’t just sit here and let them win!”
You mean like you were doing up until this moment?
And Sunny loses all resolve after one try to spread her wings fails.
Oh. Antimagic. I feel like that should have come up before. And apparently Misty’s on the approved list, given her earlier dispelling. That or this was part of Opaline’s prepping the lair, just in case.
Ah. It’s part of the shield. Amazing how they managed to overexplain and underexplain at the same time.
Opaline didn’t raise Misty quite from birth, which does make a lot of sense. I can’t see her dealing well with a foal that hasn’t been toilet-trained.
On the one hand, yes, I cannot blame the main cast in the least for not trusting Misty any farther than they can throw her. On the other, she is their one lifeline out of here, so maybe don’t heap on all the verbal abuse?
Plus, the last five minutes have just been Misty racing back and forth to get yelled at by her divided loyalties, and I have to think there was a better way to plan out these scenes.
The cutiesynthesis does work. Heck, the floating and light show have some precedent with the Crusaders; destiny gets a little pent up after being denied for so long. The specific mark… Well, I went into some possible interpretations when discussing “The Manesquerade Ball,” but it still feels a bit off. Still, I do find it fascinating that Misty instinctively knew the shape of her soul long before she got proof.
Huh. You’d think Pipp would have a better game face given her years of practice in presenting a facade… though she’s likely thinking about how Opaline could reduce her to a carbon smear. Izzy has no such burdens.
“Do you really think that you could stop a fire alicorn?”
I sincerely wish somepony had asked something along the lines of “As opposed to?” or “Meaning what exactly?” If ever there was a time to bring back Sunny throwing a hundred questions at a new kind of pony, this was it.
Also, credit to Izzy. The wisdom of Rincewind applies: It doesn’t matter how big or scary or incomprehensible the threat is. They still have to respect getting hit by a brick.
Sunny. Alicorn. Now, please.
Also, shifting into third person? I remain convinced Opaline is actually a Trixie who went mad over the centuries. (Tears of the Kingdom spoiler) And who possibly ascended by swallowing the stone at the heart of the Alicorn Amulet. It’d certainly explain the loss of her original sense of self.
Ah! There we go. Though I can’t tell whether Opaline’s “Uh-oh” undermines her or reflects her bullying nature. A little of both, really. She was not mentally prepared for facing somepony on her level.
Historically speaking, six is a magic number in the setting. (Yes, 40K fans, there’s a joke about Slaanesh in there. Please leave it to yourself.)
Huh. Really not sure how to feel about Sunny copying Opaline’s shield. Just because she’s a disciple of Twilight doesn’t mean she’s identical.
“I can keep you away from my friends.”
>Walks away without doing anything else.
I don’t think Sunny understands how long-term threats work. Not saying she has to kill Opaline. I’m just saying that there is currently nothing stopping Opaline from coming back for vengeance the moment she’s out of that bubble.
Any particular reason Misty’s maintaining the facade? Also, did the ponies do anything with/to the Dragonstone, or can Opaline still enact her true plan? Misty never did mention why the mad queen wanted Sparky.
Ah. Sunny’s barrier lacked the antimagic property. I’m honestly a lot more okay with that after seeing her not get it perfect on the first try.
Seriously, why is Misty still here? What does she possibly have to gain from staying with Opaline? (Or perhaps the question is what Opaline can do to her...)
And Opaline further proves her incompetence by failing to understand the difference between shearing a sheep and slaughtering it. Let the magic regenerate and in time, she could have unfathomable power beyond her wildest dreams! … Assuming her body could contain it.
Also, didn’t this ploy have a risk of destroying all magic on the planet? What happened there?
I feel like Sunny already had the terms and conditions of her alicorn abilities figured out by this point. We’ve certainly never seen any uncertainty there in this chapter.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to help you defeat Opaline.”
How about pointing out opportunities to do so in the future?
… Wait, did Opaline forget Sunny was an alicorn between “Ali-Conned” and now? I was right, dragonfire does rot your brain. (Well, sear it.) Also, it would’ve been nice to see her actually attempt to steal some magic after she got the power to do so.
I’m honestly impressed by how accurately the episode’s title describes it. Because of the aimless pacing up until now, it was forced to cram a wide variety of developments that should have been threaded throughout the season into itself. Yes, there was some work to that effect, but the plot catalyst happened offscreen, numerous elements were introduced the second they became relevant, several others that were brought up ahead of time were never acknowledged again (convenient that Opaline didn’t run out of magic while the Dragonstone was still charging) and what I expected to be a final confrontation that just kicked the can down the road because Sunny apparently thinks that the power-mad archmage who ended the Twilit Era won’t try to retaliate after getting humiliated.
Also, it’s really not clear whether Misty is still going to act as a double agent or if she’s finally escaping Opaline’s clutches. And if the former, good luck keeping her tail in position for the rest of the mission.
I can only assume the writers just didn’t have another villain prepared, even though the possibility of other dragons awakening offers one on a silver platter. But the job still feels half-finished, the plot feels unresolved, and this entire season ends up largely feeling like a waste of time, resources, effort, and opportunity. (Regarding that last one, I would have loved to have seen Opaline say something about getting spurned once again by an alicorn of the sun… but her grandiose tales of fallen Skyros might just be bluster to justify her arrogance. An ascended Trixie and Flurry Heart treating the showmare as a role model both feel like very viable candidates for She-Who-Would-Become-Opaline.)
As my speculation shows, I’m not giving up on G5 as a potential source of inspiration, whether for stories or card designs. Let’s see what I can do with the latter today:
Suspicious Activity 1W
Instant
Destroy target creature that dealt damage to you this turn. Investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Hitch appreciated Izzy and Zipp’s offers to enhance the station’s security. He didn’t appreciate getting trapped himself.
Coastal Roc 4W
Creature — Bird
Flying
5WW: Monstrosity 3. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put three +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
When Coastal Roc becomes monstrous, put a +1/+1 counter on each other creature with flying you control.
3/3
Solar Sanction 6W
Instant
This spell costs X less to cast, where X is its target’s power.
Exile target attacking creature.
Slowly, tentatively, Sunny reached out with her newfound magic. It brushed aside Opaline’s like a wave hitting a sand castle.
Flight Officer 3U
Creature — Bird Soldier
Flying
When Flight Officer enters the battlefield, detain target creature an opponent controls. (Until your next turn, that creature can’t attack or block and its activated abilities can’t be activated.)
No one is above the law.
2/2
Recurring Conundrum 3U
Instant
Look at the top three cards of your library. Put one of those cards into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)
Misty’s Resolve 6UU
Enchantment — Aura
Flash; convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for 1 or one mana of that creature’s color.)
Enchant creature
When Misty’s Resolve enters the battlefield, untap enchanted creature.
You control enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature has hexproof.
Slumber’s End 1BB
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may reveal a Dragon card from your hand.
Return target creature card from a graveyard to the battlefield under your control. You lose life equal to that creature’s mana value unless you revealed a Dragon card or controlled a Dragon as you this spell.
Unfortunate Timing 1BB
Instant
You may cast this spell without paying its mana cost if its target is the target of a green or white spell.
Destroy target creature.
Opaline has always had a talent for arriving at the worst possible moment.
Ego Decay 5B
Sorcery
This spell costs 1 less to cast for each permanent with indestructible its target controls.
Target player chooses a card in their hand and discards the rest.
Centuries of plotting have reduced Opaline to a single, all-consuming drive.
Opaline’s Pyreling 1R
Creature — Elemental Dragon
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Opaline’s Pyreling.
Opaline’s Pyreling has menace as long as it has three or more +1/+1 counters on it.
Opaline’s Pyreling has flying as long as it has six or more +1/+1 counter on it.
Even fire needs to be nurtured.
1/1
Sudden Treachery 2R
Instant
Split second (As long as this spell is on the stack, players can’t cast spells or activate abilities that aren’t mana abilities.)
Target creature deals damage equal to its power to another target creature with the same controller.
“Nothing personal.”
Ephemera Sculptor 3R
Creature — Unicorn Shaman
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, create an X/1 red Elemental creature token with trample and haste, where X is that spell’s mana value. Sacrifice that token at the beginning of the next end step.
“True art isn’t a chunk of rock or paint on canvas. It’s an experience.”
1/3
Prepare the Lair 1G
Sorcery
Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a land card that doesn’t have the same name as a land you control. Put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Opaline’s lab is like nothing else in Equestria.
Brick Hurler 2GG
Creature — Unicorn Rebel
Reach
Revolt — When Brick Hurler enters the battlefield, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, you may have Brick Hurler fight target creature you don’t control.
Outrage and telekinesis are a potent mix.
4/3
Deafening Encouragement XG
Instant
Convoke
Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn. If five or more creatures convoked this spell, that creature gains hexproof, indestructible, and trample until end of turn.
Broken Spelltorch 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has first strike.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, that player sacrifices an enchantment.
Equip 2
All the power of an alicorn and a sharp stick.
Dragonstone Ascension BR
Enchantment
Whenever you sacrifice a creature, put a quest counter on Dragonstone Ascension. Put three quest counters on it instead if that creature was a Dragon.
Whenever you cast a spell, if there are six or more quest counters on Dragonstone Ascension, copy that spell. You may choose new targets for the copy. If the copy’s a permanent spell, it gains haste and “At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this permanent.”
Perilous Containment 1UB
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap step.
When Perilous Containment leaves the battlefield, enchanted creature’s controller sacrifices it.
Sparky dangled over more than one abyss.
Fodder Whelp 2(br)
Creature — Dragon
Fodder Whelp can’t block.
Sacrifice Fodder Whelp: Add BR.
Opaline doesn’t see value in life, only in how she can exploit it.
3/1
Syphon Flame 2BR
Sorcery
Each opponent loses 2 life and sacrifices a permanent. You gain life equal to the life lost this way and create a Treasure token for each opponent. (They’re artifacts with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color” and enter the battlefield under your control.)
Misty, Double Agent 2UBR
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Rogue
Haste
At the beginning of combat on each opponent’s turn, you may have that player untap and gain control of Misty until end of turn. If you do, goad Misty. It can’t be sacrificed this turn.
Whenever Misty deals combat damage, you and defending player exile the top card of your libraries. Misty’s owner can play those cards until the end of their next turn, and mana of any type can be spent to cast them.
5/5
How Laughably Naive
Scheme
When you set this scheme in motion, gain control of target creature an opponent controls. When you do, you may have that creature fight another target creature that player controls.
“You really trusted them? Even better!”
A Small Price to Pay
Scheme
When you set this scheme in motion, pay X life. When you do, destroy all creatures your opponents control with power X or less.
“I suffer as well. Am I not fair?”
This Does Not Concern You
Ongoing Scheme
(An ongoing scheme remains face up until its abandoned.)
When you set this scheme in motion, exile up to three target nonland permanents your opponents control until you abandon this scheme.
At the beginning of each end step, if you lost 6 or more life this turn, abandon this scheme.
Yeah the start of this episode, with Misty just having Sparky after wasting our time for 6 episodes, and then stowing him in a tiny space in her cloak… has to rank among the most egregious writing in this series.
The amount of times this series has had composition issues – in a medium where that shouldn't be a thing to anyway halfway decent crew – is staggering.
Yeah, this episode may have been less boring and dull than almost any thus far, but the number of crammed and incoherent plot developments here made it still rather a train wreck of storytelling. I have to assume the writers are getting pulled every which way by Hasbro's changing demands on how to do these episodes, because the only alternative is that they just wrote this bad by choice – no professional would makes these mistakes left to their own device. Or that they just don't care.
And, naturally, the series' inability to do any proper physical action (both because of property and because of animation style) made even the limited amount of action here a complete wash.
Mad respect to you, FoME, for trying to justify everything you can, even in the wake of something like this where you have to acknowledge it several times for one episode.
Overall, while Chapter 4 was the tiniest of improvements of Chapter 2 (not bottom-of-the-rung episodes, more locations, less of the worst of Sparky and Pipp) it still repeats all the basic problems and doubles down on others. Roll on the end of this with September and November's content drops, I guess.
5739017
It's worth mentioning that "professional" just means they were paid to do it, and only implies quality in the manner that correlation implies causation. It's possible that they weren't given enough time or money to do a good job and went for full-on malicious compliance; unfortunately, the target audience often won't know enough to be outraged.
Honestly, at this point I think I would have preferred no G4 tie ins at all or that the story book of Twilight had been just that, a bedtime story and not their lost history because they have soooo much history and world building at their disposal and they just waste it. Basically two years into this version and that expansive Equestria with multiple species and towns and lore and now... it's just... this.
I'm whining, I know. I know it's for kids, but it can be both.
Is Recurring Conundrum retrace, or rebound?
And I'm starting to consider the old end of gen doomsayers...
5739029
They have never been good at continuity. I don't know why anyone expected them to start now. (Citation)
What I find amusing now, looking back on this episode with FOME's narration, is how much I weirdly predicted some of the plot beats in my AU G5 Fic . Opaline plans a ludicrous scheme that'll kill everyone, gets confronted by the G5-5 and then instead of being 'dealt with' is just...left to potentially do it all again (which she does, with aplomb might I add). Admittedly, I at least depowered her instead of sticking her in a flimsy-degradable bubble.
But yeah, it's fucking stupid. Even for a kids show they needed a stronger resolution for Opaline then "Mildly inconvenienced for a few hours". She could literally kidnap Sparky again a few days later.
This was supposed to be Misty's big episode, right? Because by the end, I felt mostly indifference -- "okay, she's finally on the side of the good guys now."
I was hoping for a big, dramatic moment where Misty's entire worldview was challenged and reshaped. Instead, it was a slow, drawn-out process that needed two separate scenes of Misty feeling bad about Sparky having his life taken from him and two separate conversations in which Sunny says the exact phrase "You betrayed us" both times.
So Misty is finally done being Opaline's emotional chew toy, but she plans to keep pretending to be her servant... because she's proven that she does so well maintaining a lie under pressure? Yes, I know it's really because the writers need someone for Opaline to monologue to and so somebody can instantly inform the main characters what the plot of any given episode will be (and also because it means they don't have to change the opening).
If nothing else, it was nice to see Misty happily using her new magic.
I suppose I had just lowered my expectations sufficiently that none of this really bothered me while watching this episode, or this season more generally
I won't disagree with any complaints. But it does suck to see a thing I still had hopes for fall flat.
Sad as it is to say it, I think in the end the failings of g5 come down to execution. Gillian Berrow is no Lauren Faust. And if I'm to judge by her books, she needs a better sense of pacing and timing, and of making cohesive plots that hang together more generally.
G5 has its bright spots, mainly revolving around the pegasus royal family. Zipp and Pipp's sister-relationship is genuinely good, and Queen Haven is just great fun and remains my favorite character. Even the guards that follow them around get some good sitcom moments in sometimes.
But on the whole the show lacks the kind of snappy wit that made g4 pop. I don't think that comes down to one thing, but is an emergent property of every other component being polished to a shine and fitting together tightly, and this show sadly isn't there the way g4 was.
I think it's fair to note G4 wasn't immune to the 'whelp it's episode 25 here's your villain,' cramming in all major stakes into the last few episodes with small if any buildup. And when they did buildup it felt bungled as often as not (Cozy would have been more effective if we knew she was evil from the start).
This felt better than most episodes for the sheer joy of 'shit actually happens'. Misty running back and forth between the two groups while making her decision seemed like poor storyboarding, and the off-camera successful kidnapping was an incredible miss in what should have been a tension-building 2-parter.
The choice to keep Misty with Opaline and the failure to even try and resolve their encounter (no Opaline teleporting away? whisking away her castle? Anything?) seemed like the writers didn't have permission to break the obvious stage 1 status quo.
At the very least this 'adventure'-type episode was interesting to watch compared to the common dully-performed slice of life. For them to follow the movie's seeming direction of having a series of exploration and discovery was, alas, not to be. Although at least there is hope that with Misty's allegiance somewhat resolved, they'll try new things to add tension and get the ponies out of their comfort settings.
5739062
Haven is my 'pleasant surprise' character. Watching the movie trailer I had her pegged as the secret villain (dark clothes, Diamond Tiara coloration, faked media personality, 'queen in a kid's movie' syndrome...), but she ended up being a wholesome mom who broke out of jail to find her kids and instantly went to mama-bear mode on the guy chasing them.
She's been fun since then, too, with a few 'wink and nudge' lines clearly meant for the parents watching with their kids.
5739088
The fandom doesn't make enough of the fact that Queen Haven was literally arrested and then broke out of prison and then went back to being queen as though nothing had happened. Girlboss.
5739121
She did then go on to help the heroes go on to give them all the power of flight, so it all seems to have been forgivable.
And I think the arrest didn't interfere with her still being queen? I recall the pegasi guards still calling her that as they tried to run her down.
Still: girlboss.