Sonic Rainboom
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Drugs have no regard for the laws of physics. Pinkie Pie knows that, and so should you. Also, keep in mind that the laws of physics can be bent, but only if it’s funny.
Also, please keep in mind that, no matter how much you can fit into your mouth, Pinkie Pie will always be able to fit even more in.
But that’s not the only disappointment you have provided, my dear Twilight. First off, testing the wing spell on Rarity; you gave wings to a pony whore who would only think of using them to further her own dastardly plans. If you had tested the spell on yourself, you could have used it to your own advantage, not to mention win that Wonderbolt threesome.
Secondly, the cloud walking spell. I understand your reasons for using it on yourself, but not Pinkie and Applejack. Would it not have been so much funnier to pretend to do so, then watch them fall to their deaths? Honestly, if you’d just given yourself the wings, then “accidentally” use the wrong spell, you could have gotten rid of half the deadweight on your team.
I am somewhat alarmed, however, by the knowledge that there are ponies who defy their cutie marks and try to find alternate occupations. I believe a few sessions of brainwashing are in order.
I am amused, however, by Pinkie’s desire to taste the rainbow. Ingredients aside, it certainly raises the question of what she would do if she had a sleepover with Rainbow Dash.
But let’s get back to the big event; the competition! I enjoyed most of the show, except when Rainbow almost killed me. I’m going to have to find some way to make her pay.
Of course, the flutter-winged whore just had to fly towards the light, didn’t she? Maybe those bug wings actually make her think like a bug? Do you think I could kill her if I had a mega-sized flyswatter?
But those are plans for another day. Right now, I need to make sure the smell in the Cloudiseum has been taken care of. Could you please make sure Rainbow never eats triple-bean tacos before a competition again? One giant rainbow fart is more than enough.
Your ever-plotting (no, not that kind of plot) former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: The smell probably killed the mood during her Wonderbolt threesome, so you shouldn’t be too envious.
P.P.S.: I'm pretty sure those were aileron rolls, not barrel rolls. Ponies tend to get those confused.
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No rolls were mentioned in the letter as far as I can see.
3652774 then you missed the Star Fox 64 reference.
3652616 ... The only thing I can reference to that is Sam and max
3653288
... How the hell? That was about the most obscure reference I could come up with. 
Damn, I guess that failed.
3652889
Oops. Carry on.
3653488 i got that right?????????
just seemed like something max would do
3653488 DUde, you said "Sam" in the reference :P
3654173 So? Its a common name. Besides, I have yet to meet two people irl besides me who have even heard of "Sam and Max" let alone know what it is enough to spot a reference.
3654204 The games were pretty popular. I, for one, loved the short lived Saturday Morning cartoon.
You're in a conclave of NERDS! :D
3654221 True, oh well; what's the point of making a reference if noone spots it anyways? I just wasn't expecting it to be figured out that easily.
3652774
3654507
Yeah, I found it when I actually reread it rather than just ctrl+F.
3652774 To do a Barrel Roll in Starfox 64 you have to press X or R
4091435
Yeah I know. I just missed it the first time I (re)read the letter this chapter was responding to. I caught it after it was pointed out to me by milesprower06 twelve weeks ago.
This chapter's tale was not quite as nice as the story I knew of sugar and spice. But this chapter was easy once I got to know it with the help from the magic of a trolling alicorn.
KBO.
Celestia has a point here. For a conceited unicorn who loathes her 'friends,' Twilight is surprisingly inept at dealing with them. Although...
Death by projectile cloud? By projectile cloud? Alicorn master race, my ass!
4215463 Well, clouds weigh hundreds of thousands of pounds, so it's theoretically possible to be killed by projectile cloud if you can solidify it.
5886162
True, but not the chunk of cloud Rainbow sent Celestia's way. It's been a long time since I last saw that episode, but I doubt there could've been more than two or three gallons worth of water comprising it.