Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Pinkie Pride

Author's Note:

Original chapter here.

Dear Pinkie Pie:

Your mommy told you when you were small:
Don’t be a superstar.

You never listened to her great advice,
Yet you’ve somehow gotten far.

Now everypony I know loves to dance
At your crazy parties, yes they do!

But now Cheese Sandwich has come to par-tay,
Back off, ‘cause your time is up!

I see your party's absurd,
and I think it's for the birds,
Oh I can tell you're crazy, you perform this way!

I've heard you're always so high,
You think that you might just fly,
Oh yes you're a drug addict, you perform this way!

Oh, he’s taken all your fans,
Ruined all your awesome plans,
Maybe he performs this way?

Yeah, you’ve lost the party game,
Oh please, just accept you’re lame.

Don’t go psycho, you perform this way!

Your party-loving princess, Celestia.

---

Dear Pinkie Pie:

I must say, you’re lucky you ended up making peace with Cheese Head. If you hadn’t, that magic butt sticker of yours would have become useless. You’d have to take it off and get another tattoo.

Even so, I must admit I’m surprised you were so willing to take his cock. Especially one as floppy as that one. I guess they don’t call him “Boneless” for nothing!

Then again, maybe you’re just waiting for the right situation? Then the saga begins and you become a great heroine? At least you won’t be a white and nerdy (or purple and nerdy, for that matter) heroine.

Oh well. I guess you might want to keep your eye on that rubber Scootaloo. Who knows when you might need it?

Your friend, Discord.

Comments

[SpacePaladin]

Dear Lamebro
Dork
Flip Flop
Rainbow Dash.

Happy birthday.

-G.

Edit: I decided this worked better.

[Morosung]

[Neko Majin C]

I wanted to make myself a cheese sandwich, and I did not know what kind of bread to use. I could not decide between the rye or the kaiser. Then I figured it needed some meat. So, I went to go get my bologna. But I could not find it. Why does this always happen to me? Even though I could not find it, I took one more minute to look. And even though it was not there, I could swear there was something living in the fridge. Perhaps it was my pet, Harvey, the Wonder Hamster. But anyway, I got my sandwich, sat down in front of my cable t.v., and just as I was about to eat it, I remembered there was lasagna! So, I put Gump on pause and went back to the kitchen like a surgeon. I opened the freezer and did a cavity search on each of the shelves, but I could not find it. However, I did find my favorite ice cream, rocky road. I love rocky road. Then I went to the pantry and got the Oreo's. The best topping for rocky road ice cream is the white stuff in the middle of the Oreo. After that, I went back to the living room to become a couch potato. I should finish up now, tomorrow is trash day and I have to go to the hardware store.

KBO.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

4582258 Maybe THAT'S why Rainbow Dash wants to turn into a griffon. To thank Gilda for the birthday card.

[Bad_Seed_72]

LOL, loved the song parody!

[blazikenking]

4582341 Congratulations! you have won the internet and 42. Not 42 of something. Just 42.

[Cerulean Voice]

white and nerdy

Fuck yes.

[Clem]

4582341 Aw, it's not 27 sentences

[Voldine]

4582341
I'd be careful eating all of that.
One of these days, you'll just be fat.

-ZecoraZigger Top

[Web of Hope]

4582341
4815204
You both are going on a grapefruit diet.