Dear Cutie Markers:
Don’t listen to Luna. Her ideas always end in disaster. Just keep doing what you do and one day you’ll get your magic butt stickers!
Your very favorite Draconequus, Discord.
P.S.: I do love the chaos you three cause. It reminds me of my own childhood.
Dear Discord:
Aw, thanks for tellin’ me. When Luna told me ah was the second coming of Haysus, I got worried that I’d get nailed to a tree. Now I feel a whole lot better!
Sincerely, Apple Bloom.
P.S.: You had a childhood?
Dear Princess Luna:
I told you to stay the fuck out of my dreams! You may have given me an awesome night with Sunset Shimmer, but that does not give you permission to hijack my dreams and turn them into a porn studio!
Your angry fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Bad Seed:
We’re sorry! We won’t ever be mean to your dumb friends! We promise! Please don’t cut us!
Your scared former friends, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Dear Princess Luna:
I really need those doors back.
Sincerely, Neo
Dear Apple Bloom:
You and your friends seem to have a lot of experience with dreams. Would you be interested in working with me?
Sincerely, Christopher Nolan.
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Dear Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,
The last two killed me.
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I apologize for my absence, but I just woke up and noticed that it is next week. I knew something was strange because I woke up behind the castle. I mean, that is where you usually have me sleep, however, today I woke up covered in urine, feces, blood and semen. And none of it was mine! Well, the blood was...so very, very much blood. I am getting off track, I apologize, my Mistress. I apologize for my absence, however I have been unconscious for the past week. I know that is no excuse, but I have no memory of what happened or even how it happened. Was it something fun? The last thing I remember is you running after those blasphemers who besmirched your glorious name, ready to mete out righteous justice upon them. Then I went... somewhere... then nothing. Then I woke up just a few minutes ago. So this letter is to humbly apologize for my week long absence and beg your forgiveness for not attending to your needs for the past week. As always, I am wiling to accept any all punishments you deem fit.
Signed your loyal, humble, and confused amnesiac slave,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Dear Princess Luna,
Singing at the Equestrian Idol....Does Not Compute.... "?101?#@
Sincerely,
Sweetie Bot