Canterlot Boutique
Dear Coco Pommel:
Did you do so poorly at that costume gig that nopony else wanted to hire you again? Well, I'm sorry, but I only hire the highest-quality servants.
Sincerely, Rarity.
Dear Coco Puffs:
Don't worry. You'll get another chance in about two episodes.
Sincerely, Discord.
P.S.: Seriously, how did you make that amazing rainbow thread?
Dear Rarity:
Would you mind to explain why you made dresses based on Celestia, Luna, and Twilight, but not me?
Sincerely, Cadance.
P.S.: if you make me a dress, could you do me a favor and make it a bit larger than usual around the hips? I have... reasons to need extra space.
Dear Fashion Plate:
You keep stealing my expressions, and I will find Starlight Glimmer and have her zap you like she's never zapped anypony before.
Sincerely, Party Favor.
Dear Moondancer:
Sure, why not. But there's only one bed, so we'll have to share.
Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle.
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6690204
To the Viceroy of Endless Dream
Sure, I'm game. Pun very intended.
Chaotically yours, Discord.
You made that joke on purpose, didn't you?
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I think that when you ingeniously drugged Sassy it may have been more than her fragile mind could take. While most subjects who awaken from the drug find themselves in a state of sexual euphoric bliss, Sassy simply went batshit crazy. She kept jamming things in and out and in and out and in and out of herself. She came on everything and she did not stay in the harem, either. The kitchen—sweet hell, the cucumbers—the observatory—that poor telescope, the throne room—Every. Single. Throne. The library—oh, god, the library—everywhere she went she was sticking things in every empty orifice and leaving a thick layer of mare juices in her wake. How can somepony whose mind is that far gone possibly run so fast? Truly your knockout sex drug is a credit to your magnificent brilliance.
Signed your loyal slave who is going to be very busy cleaning for the next few days,
Neko Majin C.
Post Script: What would you like me to clean first; your books, your telescope, your throne, or your kitchen?
~KBO.