Dear Diary:
No fucking way am I ever gonna have kids. Ever. Not only are they stupid, loud, and ugly, (having to raise Fax Machine by myself was more than enough to convince me of that!) but I refuse to push those huge wings and horn out!
~Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Crystal Ponies:
From now on, if you see that the castle is exploding, you know it's time to run like hell.
Your annoyed Princess, Mi Amore Cadenza.
Dear Sunburst:
So you think being an baby alicorn's Crystaller is hard? Try being the guy who helped bring that mutant freak into the world. Trust me, you'll never forget that moment when your eye almost gets poked out by her humongous wings.
Sincerely, Flash Sentry, Crystal Guard and Royal Midwife.
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
The last time I dropped the sun on the ground, I ended up killing the proto-dragons. And while it would have been hilarious to watch the crystal ponies burn to death, I don't want to see my dear little niece die yet.
I still have much to teach her about being a Princess.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
Dear Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor:
If you ever have another alicorn baby, I strongly suggest you give her lots of love and support. I fear that he or she will need it.
Sincerely, Princess Luna.
Dear Starlight Glimmer:
I tried going into politics, but I got beaten by some crazy business mogul with a hairy monster on his head. Also, as Royal Crystaller, I'm pretty much set for life, so I have no need to work anymore.
Your old friend, Sunburst.
P.S.: Don't you want to join me? That purple alicorn seems a tiny bit... completely insane.
Dear McDonald's Ice Cream Princess:
You have a lot of talent. Would you like to hang out?
Your biggest fan, Discord.
Dear Discord:
No way, Jose! Flurry is mine to corrupt teach!
Flurry Heart's favorite aunt, Princess Celestia.
Dear Cadance:
Let me get this straight: The Crystal Heart, an object which can blow up shadowy monster ponies and spread peace and love all around Equestria, and creates a huge shield of sappiness to protect the ponies within, can be shattered by a baby's cry?!
~Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
To be fair, it was a mutant alicorn superhero baby.
~Cadance
Dear Sunset Shimmer:
You already saved the ape world twice. Go teach other me or something.
~Twilight Sparkle
Agreed, out of the two sisters, Luna is the only one who's actually nice.
Good to see this series is back with a vengeance.
Oh come on Twilight, if anypony is loose enough to do that, it'd be you.
She's got a point there, plus that thing was hidden away for years it's very much possible time might have weakened it.
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I know I do not need to tell you, but making the conscious decision to refuse to have children is a wise one. They are not only everything you say them to be, but they stink and make huge messes. They are not even worth the breast engorgement they indirectly cause. Besides, I do not think your tight, little pussy could
—Ha ha ha ha! Oh, I could not even write that with a straight face. Crap, why did I write that? Double crap! Why did I write the laughter?plop out something so big and ugly. Though, I have to say, anything that is half you would have to at least have some of your magnificence. Even if the other half was F...F...Fla...Fla... That annoying orange Pegasus Royal Guard from the Crystal Empire.Signed your loyal slave who is not about to barf from thinking of filthy Pegger sticking his dick in you,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
7252077 Dear Neko:
Please remind me to trade you to Princess Celestia in exchange for that sexy orange pegasus guard.
Your horny Princess, Twilight Sparkle.
7253235
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I would happily give one or more of my lives in service to you in any way that you ask. However, those lives only really have value to you. Celestia, kind of like you, sees me as nothing more than an insect. Unlike you, though, she does not have my unwavering devotion, nor does she have any use for me. Therefore, I would make a terrible bartering chip. Celestia would not agree to a trade for your insect in exchange for her favorite sex slave.
Signed your loyal slave who humbly apologizes for bursting your horny bubble,
Neko Majin C.