Dear Sheriff Silver Star:
I heard that a troublemaking pony was recently caught in your town. While I am glad that you have managed to catch him, I am somewhat concerned by subsequent reports I received.
First of all, I was informed that the pony in question had no ill intent, but was merely unlucky. If this is the case, then the fact that you have failed to catch him for all these years is quite disturbing. Indeed, if your reports are to be believed, this “Troubleshoes” was caught by a trio of fillies. The fact that a trio of fillies were able to catch a criminal whose entire existence is based on being unlucky when all your ponies failed is, to be honest, quite disturbing.
This, of course, brings me up to the second point: the three fillies. I am, unfortunately, quite familiar with this terrible trio. And I can assure you that, if their alliance with Troubleshoes had not been a temporary one, we would be facing chaos that would have made Discord proud. Not to mention that whoever was in charge of protecting these fillies needs to be punished severely for neglect.
Finally, I am glad that Troubleshoes has found his place in life. However, I would advise that you do not tell my sister anything about him. There is no telling what she would do if she took interest in him.
Sincerely, Princess Luna.
Dear Sheriff Silver Star:
You are hereby demoted to janitor for your incompetence. I have appointed Troubleshoes to be the new Sherriff.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.
Dear Troubleshoes:
Is that nasty old cutie mark causing you grief? I’m sure I can find a way to help you!
Sincerely, Starlight Glimmer.
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Dear Starlight Glimmer:
EENOPE!
Sincerely Troubleshoes.
And that blame lies squarely on Applejack. She was responsible for making sure they were okay, but all she cared about was winning a rodeo.
6187256
Well, there was also Braeburn. She's Applebloom's cousin as well, had agreed to look after her and her friends, and fell asleep on task.
Appleloosa's Most Wanted:
"It" should be "is".
Dear Sunbutt,
Is this what your worth has come to now? You have gone from being a goddess and the ruler of an entire nation to working for Appleoosa's office of Pony Resources? It is pointless looking for a new job, because when Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle finally decides to take her rightful place on the throne of Equestria, you will be the first at the guillotine. Though maybe if you wore a mustache...
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and newly appointed director of carnal acquisitions,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.