Dear Cadance:
You mean... you could be my mommy?
YES!!! I ACCEPT!!!
Your new daughter, Scootaloo.
Dear Fax Machine:
That was Action Comics #1. Supermane's first comic. The single most sought after comic in the world. And you burned it.
When I am done with you, there won't be enough to identify you as a dragon. Or, for that matter, as anything that was ever alive.
Very angrily, Shining Armor.
P.S.: What I do with my Sailor Moon comics is none of your business.
Dear Fax Machine:
Though you may have fucked up Shining Armor's comic book, you still have a chance of redeeming yourself. I want my brother delivered to my bedroom tonight. Preferably bound so he won't try to escape. After that I want you to keep Cadance occupied so I won't be bothered. Try helping her with that chicken she decided to adopt.
Do not fuck up my night, or I will make you wish you never came out of that egg.
Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Shining Armor and Cadance:
I just heard the news! Congratulations! I hope your baby will be a beautiful little bundle of joy!
So... may I be the godfather?
Sincerely, Discord.
Dear Cadance:
Congratulations! I can already tell that your foal will be a big bundle of joy!
So, seeing as I am undoubtedly going to be the godmother, I'd be happy to teach your child everything I know. Wouldn't that be great?
Your loving aunt, Celestia.
Dear Cadance:
Since I'm the only pony qualified to be the godmother, I obviously deserve certain... privileges.
Basically, your husband has to spend some "fun time" with me.
You can start next week. Don't worry about tonight, I already have plans.
Your favorite sister-in-law, Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Luna:
Would you like to be the godmother? You're the only pony I can trust.
Sincerely, Cadance.
P.S.: Please help me rescue my husband. His crazy sister is holding him hostage and has her Fax Machine as a guard.
Nicely Done with the Scootaloo Joke.
-------------
Dear Princess Cadance,
Buck Off. She's under my hoof.
Jealous,
Rainbow Dash
Cadance trusts Luna. So... No gamer Luna?
What's worse? Celestia trying to teach the child everything there is to know about trolling, or Twilight using her position as a godmother to tie up Shining Armor?
Dear Twilight,
Oh, what the hell? Your brother already wants me dead for that stupid comic. How much more pissed at me could he possible be?
Sincerely,
Spike
Dear Cadance,
Yeah, sure, godmother. But I really must ask, it's a baby dragon. How much of an obstacle could he possibly be? For that matter, how hard could it be to wrest your husband from Twilight? As I understand it, she and her friends met a lowly unicorn a few months back who could easily take her.
Sincerely,
Luna
Dear Cadance,
So, I see that dear Shining has decided to claim one of his children. Please inform him that he is overdue on two years worth of child support on 2,357 separate accounts. As I am sure that this will tax the royal treasury greatly; I am willing to call it even if I am named the godmother.
Lots of (stolen) Love,
Queen Chrysalis
P.S. Has he improved any in the bedroom, or does he still require that ridiculous cosplay outfit?
6713035 I know this is rhetorical but I think both are equally horrifying. I wish there was a shudder emoticon.
Dear Cadance,
You are really lucky to be sharing a stallion with Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle. Her
sex drivegenerosity really knows no bounds. You can see that whenshe gets a dick in herthe mood hits her, she can be veryloudkind. Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle surecan squirt bucketsloves both you and Shining Armor. Sheis very hornywould be very honored to be the Godmother to her future niece/nephew/next conquest.Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave who should have thought twice before drinking that funny smelling potion when his mistress said "drink this",
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Lol, poor Shining...
6713035 Yes.
6713108 Dear Chrysalis:
Maybe he just sucked in bed because he's not sexually attracted to insects.
Sincerely, Cadance.
P.S.: You basically raped him, so why should we help you raise all the babies you had? Next time use a fucking condom.
6713029 Dear Rainbow Dash:
You abandoned her to try to get into the Wonderbolts. How exactly is that responsible?
Sincerely, Cadance.
6713093 Dear Luna:
...Actually, you're right. That dumb Fax Machine couldn't do shit at the summit. Taking care of him should be quite easy.
Your vengeful niece, Cadance.
6713352 This one works:
6713384 Dear Nekonomicon:
Shut up. You make Fax machine look like a genius.
Your angry mistress, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
6713534 First his super-rare comic book got destroyed, and now he's been taken prisoner by his super-horny sister. Yup, sucks to be Shining
Luna wants none of this.
One fan fiction writer said it best, without Spike around, Twilight would be stewing in her own filth.