Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

A Dog and Pony Show

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

I believe Rarity is controlling your Fax Machine by tricking him into thinking he has a chance of getting into bed with her. Therefore, you probably ought to have him neutered.

And then there are the Diamond Dogs. These non-pony species are really starting to become pests. Honestly, the griffons had the right idea when they began to create hot dogs. In fact, I could go for a hot dog right about now.

Then you say Fax Machine tried to score again? Seriously, why have you not had him neutered?

And I’m heavily amused by how ponies like Rarity import mud from exotic places for hundreds of bits, then refuse to even look at the mud in their own backyard. If they only realized what their imported Griffon “mud” actually is…

But I need to point out how deeply disappointed I am in you, Twilight Sparkle. First of all, you got outsmarted by a bunch of dogs that spend their time rolling in mud and sniffing each other’s asses. Then, you allowed a lesser being to use you for slave labor. I was hoping you'd assert your will upon Rarity, and instead you got used as a work horse. And finally, you stubbornly refuse to have your Fax Machine neutered.

I thought you were smarter than this.

Your disappointed former teacher, Princess Celestia.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

If they only realized what their imported Griffon “mud” actually is…

I see what you did there, Princess.

[Neko Majin C]

Celly, you have gone from innocent trolling to just being mean. Shape up, grandma.

KBO.

[Phazon]

If they only realized what their imported Griffon “mud” actually is…

... Well in that case, those griffons did a damn good job of making that "mud" not smell like what it actually is.

[StormLuna]

I laughed non-stop through this whole chapter. HILARIOUS!

[JOEBLACK]

4167744
innocent trolling? obviously you haven't been paying attention. there is a reason people liken her to the dark lord Dumbledore.