Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I suspect that the Apple family is at least partially inbred. It would certainly explain a lot.
Of course, there's also the possibility she's part cow. Their stupidity would defile even royal alicorn genes if allowed. On the other hand, it made for quite a bit of entertainment when they began to stampede through your little town. You should have seen the way they almost trampled everypony!
Of course, there may be a solution to the cow problem. You may wish to consider joining P.E.T.A. (Ponies for the Eating of Tasty Animals) for more details.
Also, I must say that Ponyville has a problem. If they spent an entire week organizing a ceremony to celebrate their town not getting run over by stupid cows, yet could get all their stuff for the Summer Sun Celebration ready in just under a day, they must have really bad priorities. Especially if the guest of honor is half asleep when she gets there. You must be so happy to live there, huh?
Of course, the real fun began when Big Mac got injured and Applejack vowed to buck all the trees by herself. Seriously? Oh, this was fucking epic!
First off, Rainbow Dash. The fact that Applejack catapulted her right onto your balcony? Total mood killer for you! Injuries for Dash! Popcorn for me!
And then there was the muffin incident. Oh man. Those bakers must be real morons if they let that pink drug addict bake anything! Of course, maybe they thought having Applejack around would stop her from putting anything dangerous into the mix. Oh boy were they wrong!
Admittedly, however, I was slightly disappointed when she caused my requested batch of slave bunnies to escape. Of course, the way they trampled the town and caused everypony to panic (Seriously?! How the hell is a rabbit stampede even a threat?!) was absolutely worth it.
Also, I find it hard to believe that two ponies are enough to buck an entire orchard. Indeed, if Applejack was so tired after doing so little, Big Mac could probably buck the entire orchard himself!
Of course, if Big Mac truly is strong enough to buck the entire orchard by himself, then he definitely deserves to have a sandwich named in his honor. Especially if it's approved by P.E.T.A..
Your faithful Bringer of the day, Princess Celestia.
I look forward to reading these revised responses of yours!
3634530 And I look forward to writing them
And thus the Big Mac was born.
All glory to the Big Mac!
I look forward to joining PETA, but not PETA, because those hippies are unbearable.
I would love to read the rest of the letters tonight. Sadly, I'm
being forced to write my half of a story in one day while the other author sleepsrather busy tonight and can probably catch up on this story tomorrow.With fava beans and a nice chianti?
Celestia's got the right idea about Big Mac.
~Skeeter The Lurker
now Celestia is becoming more like Twilight from the original letters
I still believe that Big Macintosh injured himself while wearing Granny Smith's underwear. Or wearing Granny Smith's underwear is how he injured himself. Either way, doing so in public must have been hilarious.
KBO.
3634532 Damn, I enjoyed your responses from the original journal entries. Good to see they have become a story themselves. Wish you best of luck in future Writings
Your Faithful Stalker,
--Cicero
Love reading these responses, they're hilarious !
your P.E.T.A idea was genius !
Well, the only humor I've seen so far is the same joke stamped in every chapter: Celestia points out how stupid Ponyvillians are, then proclaims she is entertained by the nonsense she witnesses. That's about it.
Sorry, but this thing just feels uninspired.
...good shit Purple Autist and White Bitch is Mother like Daughter.