Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Boast Busters

Author's Note:

Original letter here.

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

First off, I'd like to point out what a shame it is that you have no intention of allowing your fax machine to breed. Wouldn't you want to dabble in the slave trade?

And second of all, if I ever meet anypony more powerful than you, I swear I will make her my new student. I must admit I was excited at first when I heard that there was an extremely powerful unicorn in Ponyville, but if what you're saying is true, then she's bound to be a disappointment.

But let's not get into my personal life. If all she did was humiliate a couple of ponies, then all she did was reinforce the truth: while it is true that all ponies are equine equal under Equestrian law, it is also true that some ponies are more equal than others.

Also, I would like to request that you post notices around town to note the dangers of inbreeding. If there are more idiots like those two you just mentioned, I fear that the town might be destroyed by sheer stupidity. (On which note, has Applejack ever mysteriously disappeared while mentioning something about her brother? If so, someone needs to be mooned.) If it's true that the unicorn you mentioned really believed your comment about laundry, then she might be proof as well.

Seriously, if those two inbred freaks brought an ursa minor to town just for Trixie to vanquish it, we really need to start considering teaching eugenics.

And here's where I was most disappointed: this unicorn, who might have been a great student in another life, turned out to be useless against the ursa minor. Of course, the fact that you chose to save that little shithole rather than leave the genetic rejects to their fate is pretty bad too. I mean, you clearly don't like them, so why not play a fiddle while Ponyville burns?

Of course, if you're so determined to prevent the next generation from being so stupid, then maybe you're a lost cause as well. Oh well, hopefully those mustaches will keep their cousins away.

Your Faithful banisher of family members, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Why don't you make a new water tower yourself?

P.P.S.: You want to dominate Trixie physically, mentally, and sexually? I could write stories about that!

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

So Celestia's not only a troll but also a fanfic writer? Why does that work so well? /

[Bad_Seed_72]

Dat second postscript.

[Changeling-Drone]

Friendship is witchcraft reference

[SeventhBrony]

Seriously, if those two inbred freaks brought an ursa minor to town just for Trixie to vanquish it, we really need to start considering teaching eugenics.

And here's where I was most disappointed: this unicorn, who might have been a great student in another life, turned out to be useless against the ursa minor. Of course, the fact that you chose to save that little shithole rather than leave the genetic rejects to their fate is pretty bad too. I mean, you clearly don't like them, so why not play a fiddle while Ponyville burns?

good points, OUCH

[D-Bence35]

while it is true that all ponies are equine equal under Equestrian law, it is also true that some ponies are more equal than others.

Sorry but pigs are the equalest.

[Kleora]

3646667
My thoughts exactly!

[Skeeter The Lurker]

That second post script explains, oh, ALL of the Twixie clopfics on here...

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Big Brother is Watching]

it is also true that some ponies are more equal than others.

EPIC ANIMAL FARM REFERENCE!!!!

[Neko Majin C]

Celestia made a lot of good points. A clutch of dragon/pony hybrid slaves would be useful, and a great money making opportunity.

KBO.

[Kage no Brony]

3636355

Because she then publishes her writings under a pseudonym, and watches the pony in question freak out over their reputation that is now in tatters.

[No I Will Not]

Of course, if you're so determined to prevent the next generation from being so stupid, then maybe you're a lost cause as well. Oh well, hopefully those mustaches will keep their cousins away.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

And apparently White Bitch dabbles in fanfics. Meta detected.

[Yuri Bacon]

*Has read Animal Farm*

*Doesn't catch reference 'til checking comments*

Well I suck.

[keybounce]

P.P.S.: You want to dominate Trixie physically, mentally, and sexually? I could write stories about that!

Ok, where's the link?