Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Yes, you paid Fax Machine to take care of your owl. Pretty dumb if you ask me. But then again, I guess you're just a unicorn. Not that you'll have to worry about that for too long.
Oh, don't mind me. I'm just thinking out loud.
Anyway, if you don't want him around, you could always give him to me. It would give me a great way to deal with crystal pony dissenters. After all, they're rather hard to crush up in rainbow factories.
So, let's talk about your visit. You were trying to convince the inspector that the next Equestrian Hunger Games should be held in the Crystal Empire, right? So I guess that you'd be trying extremely hard to get the inspector to have a good first impression?
Or maybe you're actually trying to screw Cadance over?
I mean, let's be honest. That tour you and your friends gave was so blatantly varnished, rehearsed, and biased, that anypony with half a brain cell would instantly have noticed something fishy. Given the kind of pony that you are, I guess you were doing this deliberately in order to prevent the Dragon Chow ponies from getting their chance to show off their shiny city to the world.
Of course, you just had to give that tour to a pony with no brain cells whatsoever. And she gave it to the inspector. Of course, the fact that you had abandoned an important government pony right when you were supposed to pick her up would almost certainly have destroyed any chance Crystal Methville would have had of hosting the Equestrian Hunger Games. So, really, you had two simultaneous events that could prevent Cadance from ever having anypony's respect ever again.
But unfortunately, you never passed any of your math classes, and so you never understood that negatives multiplied by negatives always give a positive outcome. And so, while either one of those events could have prevented Crystal Methville from hosting the games, together they ensured that the games will take place right there.
Happy Hunger Games. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Your eternally varnishing, rehearsing, and biasing former teacher, Princess Celestia
P.S.: I'm honestly surprised you haven't had Cadance locked up in one of those underground mines and married Francis or whatever your brother's name is.
P.P.S.: That porcupine manestyle would be totally killer. I think we should have some of the tributes- I mean athletes- wear it.
Lol.
Dragon chow ponies. Nice.
Thank you for making me paint my cell phone with some Earl Grey.
Congratulations Twilight you're the new Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!
This is clearly how math works.
4143481
It's so fucked up, who even fucking knows?!
4142001 She even went Rapidash in that one episode
4141353 Special Cadance Recipe: Extra Crunchy
4143481 That's actually true, to some extent. But of course I'm sure noone really wants to hear the full explanation.
I do!
Ignore her.
I'll get you for this! Don't think I won't!
Oh! Oh! I have an idea PICK ME! PICK MEEE! I was thinking we could get them all depressed first and THEN grind them into rainbows. Cuz when they're depressed they're just like normal ponies?
4141516
This comment just made me paint my laptop with my own English Breakfast
Equestrian Hunger Games.
Thank you for addressing something that has been bothering me. Only one city, Cloudsdale, provides the weather for the entirety of Equestria? There have to be other floating cities. Hence other weather stations. Hence other Rainbow Factories. Where not a single soul gets through.
KBO.
4237817 We know of one (Cloudsdale), but Hasbro has revealed another (Las Pegasus), so that's two. There are probably other weather factories without towns to go with them, though.